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Lumberg
New member
This Friday a girl I had been on 2 dates with decided to end it and go with another guy she had also been dating casually.
I got fired up and decided I was going to change my image. Cos I'm not your typical aggressive, confident, well-groomed guy. I am no slob but you won't see me in the pages of GQ either. I've always been a sort of march to the beat of my own drummer kind of guy. Not good or bad, just is.
I met a guy this Friday, a neighbor who is a kind of weird redneck who was high and babbling. I was working on my car in the driveway and I didn't mind the company so we chilled for a while. Nice guy, a little weird and a little pathetic but I've never been one to shirk someone's company because of idiosyncracies. I guess I think of saintly people and how they accepted everyone and I think that's the way to be. I have several friends who if the average person met them, they would think they were weird. I tend to find the good qualities in people, and like to know lots of different types of people and kind of find the interesting and useful side of them. Basically if they don't threaten my physical or mental stability, I won't turn them away as acquaintances.
Anyways I realized this was a dilemma. On one hand, not being afraid to hang out with all sorts of people is a great quality. On the other hand as the saying goes you are the company you keep. So let's say I meet a girl. If she's a certain way and I introduce her to some of my friends she's going to think badly of me, no doubt about it.
I've talked this over with a couple of good friends, and there is no real solution. I feel like I need to make some new friends, sort of people I can present to another person as "the company I keep" to make a good impression. So I would have sort of two groups of friends--the "presentable" ones and the non-presentable ones. Of course eventually as I got to know a woman she would meet them all. But I would sort of restrict access to the presentable group at first. However I feel this is disingenuous.
Another thing I talked about with my male friend is that a woman generally wants a man she can show off to her friends. Thus all the talk of marrying a doctor, etc. I seek that to a certain extent, physical beauty is important to me but really important is our private interaction and how she makes me feel. I'm confident that I have similar enough internal standards to those of society that others' perception of the choice would not be negative.
Anyways I need to be a guy that would impress a group of females. Of course different people and social groups are impressed by different things, but personality and dress are both important. Money power and job I don't have much control over since I am pretty commited to my current job and career track.
Anyways I'm rambling. But I feel that two strong forces within me are in conflict right now and it feels weird.
I got fired up and decided I was going to change my image. Cos I'm not your typical aggressive, confident, well-groomed guy. I am no slob but you won't see me in the pages of GQ either. I've always been a sort of march to the beat of my own drummer kind of guy. Not good or bad, just is.
I met a guy this Friday, a neighbor who is a kind of weird redneck who was high and babbling. I was working on my car in the driveway and I didn't mind the company so we chilled for a while. Nice guy, a little weird and a little pathetic but I've never been one to shirk someone's company because of idiosyncracies. I guess I think of saintly people and how they accepted everyone and I think that's the way to be. I have several friends who if the average person met them, they would think they were weird. I tend to find the good qualities in people, and like to know lots of different types of people and kind of find the interesting and useful side of them. Basically if they don't threaten my physical or mental stability, I won't turn them away as acquaintances.
Anyways I realized this was a dilemma. On one hand, not being afraid to hang out with all sorts of people is a great quality. On the other hand as the saying goes you are the company you keep. So let's say I meet a girl. If she's a certain way and I introduce her to some of my friends she's going to think badly of me, no doubt about it.
I've talked this over with a couple of good friends, and there is no real solution. I feel like I need to make some new friends, sort of people I can present to another person as "the company I keep" to make a good impression. So I would have sort of two groups of friends--the "presentable" ones and the non-presentable ones. Of course eventually as I got to know a woman she would meet them all. But I would sort of restrict access to the presentable group at first. However I feel this is disingenuous.
Another thing I talked about with my male friend is that a woman generally wants a man she can show off to her friends. Thus all the talk of marrying a doctor, etc. I seek that to a certain extent, physical beauty is important to me but really important is our private interaction and how she makes me feel. I'm confident that I have similar enough internal standards to those of society that others' perception of the choice would not be negative.
Anyways I need to be a guy that would impress a group of females. Of course different people and social groups are impressed by different things, but personality and dress are both important. Money power and job I don't have much control over since I am pretty commited to my current job and career track.
Anyways I'm rambling. But I feel that two strong forces within me are in conflict right now and it feels weird.
