Humbug

[JayC9]

I am the god of hell fire and I bring you a blue twinkling led fluffy roof snowman on skis with a revolving hat. Yes, it’s that very happy time of year again, and before we get to the traditional hating of the relatives, the customary watching of reruns, the festive playing of stupid naughty games that only come out around xmas and the ritual exchange of unwanted items, let us take a moment to reflect on some of mankind’s greatest scientific achievements and wonder how some of that evolutionary well of learning and knowledge branched off, and led to the technological development of a six foot garden snow globe with a nativity scene in it, specially designed to sit outside someone’s house every december looking inexplicably cheerless. Ahh, the collective glow of peace and good will to all is almost tangible, no more so than in the presence of any house decorated with so many lights that it has become a hazard to passing aircraft and can now be seen from space. A nest of hungry flashing electricity sucking ticks clinging to its sides, almost as if someone has inadvertently opened the gates of hell during satans xmas office party and let the contents spill out to become stuck fast to the brickwork of the nearest semi-detached.

Happy holidays all and remember not to leave your TV on standby.

 

[Danielle Averill]

That was fantastic, I thoroughly enjoyed that!

 

[mrplunkey]

I enjoy the holidays, but I don't like to travel and I reaaaaally don't like the scavenger hunts for 25+ people.

I've already announced that for next year if you invite me over and expect to exchange gifts, I will be giving you a snake of no less than 10'. So invite me at your own peril. I have the exotic pet store's number on speed dial.

 

[nangiggles]

I enjoy the holidays, but I don't like to travel and I reaaaaally don't like the scavenger hunts for 25+ people.

I've already announced that for next year if you invite me over and expect to exchange gifts, I will be giving you a snake of no less than 10'. So invite me at your own peril. I have the exotic pet store's number on speed dial.

No need to scavenger hunt, I'll tell you exactly what to buy me

 

[ortiz34]

word

 

[mrplunkey]

No need to scavenger hunt, I'll tell you exactly what to buy me

Even that gets frustrating. My dad tells me he wants a rifle. But you can't point-and-click that. So you're looking at trips to the store, paperwork, then getting it laser bore-sited, then the background check system is 24 hours behind, then they try to upsell you every add-on in the store. And know what the best part is? In the three trips it took me to get his rifle finished, they lost the two boxes of 50 shells/each that I had put in the pile from trip one.

Next year, he's getting a snake too.

 

[nangiggles]

last year I gave my husband a list of 10 things under $15 he could get me, it came with store name and directions, sizes and color as well as pictures....

 

[ortiz34]

last year I gave my husband a list of 10 things under $15 he could get me, it came with store name and directions, sizes and color as well as pictures....

did he fvck up?

 

[musclemom]

I'm sorry, NOBODY has more permission to hate these holidays than my husband. 2009 marks 35 years he has worked for Macys.

He has been getting forcefed Christmas since late August.

Talk about the worlds longest foreplay leading up to the worlds worst orgasm.

 

[Danielle Averill]

I'm sorry, NOBODY has more permission to hate these holidays than my husband. 2009 marks 35 years he has worked for Macys.

He has been getting forcefed Christmas since late August.

Talk about the worlds longest foreplay leading up to the worlds worst orgasm.

That's a whole lot of frou frou, faux, forcefed Xmas. Poor man! How the heck did he get through that, lol. They do start early in stores like Macy's. I'm suprised the little men in the white coats & butterfly nets didn't come for him yet!

 

[nangiggles]

did he fvck up?

Indeed...

 

[mrplunkey]

I'm sorry, NOBODY has more permission to hate these holidays than my husband. 2009 marks 35 years he has worked for Macys.

He has been getting forcefed Christmas since late August.

Talk about the worlds longest foreplay leading up to the worlds worst orgasm.

How dare you deride our religious event that was stolen from pagans and transformed into a commercial opportunity!

I really like the holiday, but I hate the scavenger hunt for gifts. Like I said earlier, next year everybody who wants to exchange gifts is gonna get a big-ass snake.

 

[musclemom]

That's a whole lot of frou frou, faux, forcefed Xmas. Poor man! How the heck did he get through that, lol. They do start early in stores like Macy's. I'm suprised the little men in the white coats & butterfly nets didn't come for him yet!

You know that joke "if you're going though hell, keep going"? That's kind of how my husband gets through Christmas. Basically the way most people do root canal, white knuckled grim determination. Christmas, for some people who work in retail (depending on their job and the company) and their families, can be the equivalent of tax season for accountants. It becomes all consuming and it's basically "forget I exist until after the first of the year."

 

[musclemom]

How dare you deride our religious event that was stolen from pagans and transformed into a commercial opportunity!

What deride, Macys has put the food on our table and kept the roof over our heads for a long time now.

Actually hubby and I managed to make it to a lovely solstice celebration Monday night, it was really nice and kind of reminded us what this is about (the return of the light/life/sun/son). Our coven had our ritual (which was my "baby") back in the beginning of the month. Our tradition had to reschedule our Yule for next month because of the storm, though.

Hey, I will confess to saying to people who tell me Christmas has always been about the birth of Christ (yeah, there's still a few out there) and has never had anything to do with pagans "You wanna tell me they had pine trees, holly and mistletoe in Jerusalem?"

Funny story about mistletoe ... among the most sacred of plants to the Druids, but the name literally means shit on a stick! (that's how it's spread, you see, it's a parasitic plant and the seeds are spread by the birds that eat the berries). Gotta love the Celts