How long should I wait before...

[fyxgel2]

asking a girl if there is a possibility that we could be anything more than friends?

or if I were to just ask her out on a date, how long should I wait before I do that?

EDIT: I know that there isnt a set time limit or anything, cuz it varies with each situation, but like how well should u know them first?

EDIT 2: er better yet, how well should u know them before you "define the relationship?"

 

[bran987]

no words!

 

[Lestat]

Never ask a girl is there is a possibility that you could me anything more then friends.

Instead you ask to do things with them, based on there response you should get a feel for their interest level. Its not an exact science, but its how the "game" is played.

There is no time frame for asking a girl out on a date, sometimes people do it within minuts of meeting someone, othertimes it could be someone you've known for a long time but have had a recent attraction to them.

 

[PHATchik]

Why would you have to wait to ask her out? Just do it. Don't think about it, don't analyze it. Just ask her and see what happens. Nothing ventured, nothing gained you know.

 

[ChefWide]

asking a girl if there is a possibility that we could be anything more than friends?

or if I were to just ask her out on a date, how long should I wait before I do that?

Puberty. Definitely wait until then.

 

[Subzeero]

Are u freinds with her allready. she doesn't have any significant other does she? Get to know her better.. and make sure u both enjoy being together. Most important thing is to make sure that u don end up with a broken heart bro. So do all the necessary checks before u ask her.

 

[strangebrew]

6 days.

 

[coverguy]

Here's the dilly ...

First of all, whenever you do bring up these conversations be confident. If you walk into this one like a pussy you're definitely heading for friends.

Secondly, when you feel the time is right to ask these questions (i.e. they're weighing heavy on your mind, or you're thinking about them a lot) then you need to ask them. Odds are if you're analyzing the situation, then she is too. The longer you let her analyze it the worse your odds can get (because women and their thought processes are fucked!)

 

[strongsmartsexy]

Puberty. Definitely wait until then.

 

[powerslave]

Why would you have to wait to ask her out? Just do it. Don't think about it, don't analyze it. Just ask her and see what happens. Nothing ventured, nothing gained you know.

DING, DING, DING!

 

[fyxgel2]

Why would you have to wait to ask her out? Just do it. Don't think about it, don't analyze it. Just ask her and see what happens. Nothing ventured, nothing gained you know.

If I ask her out on a date, I might get turned down. If I ask her to hang out as friends, she might say yes. Then if I were to do the latter, I could sneak my way up to "potential prospect" status.

If you ask a girl out on a date, you are basically admitting that you like her.

If she finds out that you like her before you find out what she feels about you, you are screwed.

It seems that the key would be to hide your feelings and make it look like you just want to be her friend.

What I want to know, is how long should you be their friend for, how well should you know them, before you try taking the relationship to another level?



I dunno, maybe I'm asking something different now, sorry if I confused u guys.

 

[ceo]

Grab your sac and remind yourself that you're a man. Have some confidence first. When you are confident and look like you're in control you'll see her become more interested in you, then you'll know. Oh, don't take longer than a couple days to do this. I can't believe some of the shit I read here.

 

[Becoming]

Stick your toungue down her throat and see how it comes out...

 

[-SD-]

Why do I feel like nothing we say ever sinks in with this kid.

 

[Deleted member 33117]

If I ask her out on a date, I might get turned down. If I ask her to hang out as friends, she might say yes. Then if I were to do the latter, I could sneak my way up to "potential prospect" status.

If you ask a girl out on a date, you are basically admitting that you like her.

If she finds out that you like her before you find out what she feels about you, you are screwed.

It seems that the key would be to hide your feelings and make it look like you just want to be her friend.

What I want to know, is how long should you be their friend for, how well should you know them, before you try taking the relationship to another level?



I dunno, maybe I'm asking something different now, sorry if I confused u guys.

Christ! Just ask her out... if she is single and at all interested in you (even if she can't figure yet if she is or not) she will say yes. Worst thing that can happen is for her to say no.

 

[PHATchik]

If I ask her out on a date, I might get turned down. If I ask her to hang out as friends, she might say yes. Then if I were to do the latter, I could sneak my way up to "potential prospect" status.

If you ask a girl out on a date, you are basically admitting that you like her.

If she finds out that you like her before you find out what she feels about you, you are screwed.

It seems that the key would be to hide your feelings and make it look like you just want to be her friend.

What I want to know, is how long should you be their friend for, how well should you know them, before you try taking the relationship to another level?



I dunno, maybe I'm asking something different now, sorry if I confused u guys.

Just ask her out period. Don't specify. Just ask her out. If you try to become friends with her, then you risk her looking at you as a friend and nothing more. Also, I think that's pretty low to want to be her friend just so you can get in her pants later. If you like the girl, ask her out. Quit analyzing it and asking us what we think you should do. Just do it and see what happens.

 

[Dial_tone]

Whatever you do, DON'T listen to phatchik on this one!

 

[PHATchik]

Whatever you do, DON'T listen to phatchik on this one!

 

[fyxgel2]

so what if I get the impression that she is not interested, before I even ask her?

then should I still ask her?


(part of the reason why I havent really asked any girls out recently, is because I havent seen any signs of interest from them)

 

[PHATchik]

so what if I get the impression that she is not interested, before I even ask her?

then should I still ask her?


(part of the reason why I havent really asked any girls out recently, is because I havent seen any signs of interest from them)

It depends on if you are just being paranoid thinking she's not interested or if she is actually giving you "go away" vibes.

 

[Dial_tone]

so phatchik, do you have any particular experience in this kinda situation?

 

[PHATchik]

so phatchik, do you have any particular experience in this kinda situation?

I plead the 5th to all questions.

 

[Dial_tone]

bawk bawk bawk!

 

[bran987]

(part of the reason why I havent really asked any girls out recently, is because I havent seen any signs of interest from them)

you said you are average looking, what do you expect

it is extremely arrogant to think you can read somebody else's mind when you haven't even met them, of course you should still talk to them.

 

[PHATchik]

bawk bawk bawk!

Yes, yes I am.

 

[Deleted member 33117]

you said you are average looking, what do you expect

it is extremely arrogant to think you can read somebody else's mind when you haven't even met them, of course you should still talk to them.

Try working on your apperance then. If you feel that you are average looking, you are going to come across as average. By telling yoursel things like, "Girls are not interested." or "I look average." you convince yourself of this. It will show when you approach girls. Just start asking them out. Make a habit of talking to every girl you bump into unless its inconvenient to do so. Ask out EVERY cute girl you know. So what if you get alot of "no's" you'll get alot of "yes's" also. Don't worry about they think about you... you'll come across as confident and secure, even if you are not, if you make a habit of asking cute girls out, and talk to complete strangers often.

 

[milo hobgoblin]

2 or 3 minutes max.. and 1 evening before sex.. anything longer than that is WAY too long.

 

[Deleted member 33117]

2 or 3 minutes max.. and 1 evening before sex.. anything longer than that is WAY too long.

I've approached hot girls that I total strangers and asked them out less than 5 minutes into the conversatoin also. You only get a yes about 1/3 of the time. But hey, that is better than not at all.

 

[milo hobgoblin]

Strangely enough.. I never waited more than a few minutes.. most women will tell you they know almost instantly before they would go out with you.. Ive found this to be true.

 

[awittyusername]

First, don't even try to be friends w/a girl. If I talk to a girl its as a MAN not a friend. If you talk to them like a shy nice guy you will be a friend. That means you will get to hear about all there boyfriends. You might as well all wear matching panties and watch the lifetime channel and have a good cry.

Second, quit worrying about a date. Dates are geih. I've gone on about 7 official dates (including proms) my whole life. But, Ive banged alot of chicks and had maybe 5 girlfriends. Anytime I went on a date (even when the chick set it up) As soon as she got her ass in the car it was like I was on a fn job interview and I had to impress her. Open the door, pay for dinner, etc. F that. Just talk to a chick like a man. Find out what she likes (ex beach, coffee house) Find out what she likes cooly not just ask. Then assume she will go by saying "Hey, I like the beach too. Lets go Sat. How about 1pm." Say it like a confident man. Dont even mention the word date.

 

[Deleted member 33117]

First, don't even try to be friends w/a girl. If I talk to a girl its as a MAN not a friend. If you talk to them like a shy nice guy you will be a friend. That means you will get to hear about all there boyfriends. You might as well all wear matching panties and watch the lifetime channel and have a good cry.

Second, quit worrying about a date. Dates are geih. I've gone on about 7 official dates (including proms) my whole life. But, Ive banged alot of chicks and had maybe 5 girlfriends. Anytime I went on a date (even when the chick set it up) As soon as she got her ass in the car it was like I was on a fn job interview and I had to impress her. Open the door, pay for dinner, etc. F that. Just talk to a chick like a man. Find out what she likes (ex beach, coffee house) Find out what she likes cooly not just ask. Then assume she will go by saying "Hey, I like the beach too. Lets go Sat. How about 1pm." Say it like a confident man. Dont even mention the word date.

WTF? Going to the beach with a girl is a date. If you go over to her house and watch a movie with her, or eat before fucking her, its a date also, if it was something planned before you got there.

 

[awittyusername]

Yes, that is just it. You are getting with her casually. (but, like a man not a friend). And, you don't have to go through the ritual of "Will you go out on a date w/ me?

Its not a

official date

 

[Deleted member 33117]

Yes, that is just it. You are getting with her casually. (but, like a man not a friend). And, you don't have to go through the ritual of "Will you go out on a date w/ me?

Its not a

Good point. A chick I just meet wants me to meet her at a bar tonight for a couple of drinks with some of her girl friends. Definately not a date. Just going to relax and have a good time. We exchanged numbers, and have talked, and from conversing with her, it does not seem unrealistic to think I might be getting laid.

Serioulsy, I think flxygel needs to get some poon, and it would solve half of his problems with confidence.

 

[awittyusername]

Good point. A chick I just meet wants me to meet her at a bar tonight for a couple of drinks with some of her girl friends. Definately not a date. Just going to relax and have a good time. We exchanged numbers, and have talked, and from conversing with her, it does not seem unrealistic to think I might be getting laid.

Serioulsy, I think flxygel needs to get some poon, and it would solve half of his problems with confidence.

flxygel, read this. This is perfect

Just going to relax and have a good time.

Don't make everything such a big deal flxgel. Just meet up w/a chick and casually have a good time. (But, remember to be a man or you will just be a friend.

good luck my young horny friend

 

[bobcatdiva]

ok...i have a question for the guys here

I have been seeing a guy for about a month now. He said he does not want a "serious" relationship, but yet he wants to be exclusive??? Isnt that the same thing?
He told me that he does not want to see anyone else and we see each other every night, so my question is to all you men out there...What does he mean when he says he wants to be exclusive??? And, how should I go about defining the relationship or should I not say anything at all?

 

[Deleted member 33117]

ok...i have a question for the guys here

I have been seeing a guy for about a month now. He said he does not want a "serious" relationship, but yet he wants to be exclusive??? Isnt that the same thing?
He told me that he does not want to see anyone else and we see each other every night, so my question is to all you men out there...What does he mean when he says he wants to be exclusive??? And, how should I go about defining the relationship or should I not say anything at all?

Personally, to me being exclusive is a serious relationship. He sounds like he is interested, but is afraid of commitment. Give him time to ease into it. Just my 2 cc's.

 

[bobcatdiva]

Personally, to me being exclusive is a serious relationship. He sounds like he is interested, but is afraid of commitment. Give him time to ease into it. Just my 2 cc's.

Thanks...I agree with you about the commitment part...I just dont know how long I should keep on like this. I realize that it has only been a month, but I guess I just dont want to waste my time if it is not going to go anywhere later.

 

[Deleted member 33117]

Thanks...I agree with you about the commitment part...I just dont know how long I should keep on like this. I realize that it has only been a month, but I guess I just dont want to waste my time if it is not going to go anywhere later.

Damn girl... if he is willing to see you exclusively after only a month, take that as a good sign. He is probably interested in something long term. Don't cut him loose if you want something with this guy, just give him a little time and space.

 

[jackangel]

yep, the exclusive thing is good. i can understand his attitude, because i think i'm the same way. he definitely likes you (assuming you trust the way he acts and talks), but perhaps the thought of a long-term relationship unnerves him at this time. very few relationships can stand up to that test, even when you just think about it. the consequence of ending up in a less-than-desirable situation which you can't easily get out of, is worth avoiding. i agree, after only a month, that doesn't like anything that isn't positive. but i don't especially care for the attitude which weighs the present in terms of the future (i.e. "i don't want to waste my time if it's not going anywhere."). if he's worth being with, i think it should primarily be because you really enjoy the time you spend with him today, regardless of what may happen tomorrow (for that we never really know).

and fxygel2, i think you're misguided again here. just because you ask a girl out on a date, doesn't you mean you like her. unless you mean in the 7th grade way. all it means is that you're attracted to something(s) about her, and want to get to know her better in some way. that's not giving up this (idea of) power, or control, or mystery. it's just making a move, which guys have always done first and still do most of the time. it's just how it works.

the other thing: what do you really think of this girl, or all the other girls you know, for that matter? is it paramount to keep some form of a friendship, no matter what? would you like to know them just for their own sakes? or are you fairly certain that you want to engage them romantically? if so, you probably won't be comfortable or satisfied knowing them as just friends for too long. and that means that you might as well ask, no matter what you think she might say. if she says no, and things become awkward, it doesn't matter...because it was all or nothing.

just try. and don't ask them how they feel about you or whether they like you...you will be able to tell soon enough.

 

[bran987]

yep, the exclusive thing is good. i can understand his attitude, because i think i'm the same way. he definitely likes you (assuming you trust the way he acts and talks), but perhaps the thought of a long-term relationship unnerves him at this time. very few relationships can stand up to that test, even when you just think about it. the consequence of ending up in a less-than-desirable situation which you can't easily get out of, is worth avoiding. i agree, after only a month, that doesn't like anything that isn't positive. but i don't especially care for the attitude which weighs the present in terms of the future (i.e. "i don't want to waste my time if it's not going anywhere."). if he's worth being with, i think it should primarily be because you really enjoy the time you spend with him today, regardless of what may happen tomorrow (for that we never really know).

and fxygel2, i think you're misguided again here. just because you ask a girl out on a date, doesn't you mean you like her. unless you mean in the 7th grade way. all it means is that you're attracted to something(s) about her, and want to get to know her better in some way. that's not giving up this (idea of) power, or control, or mystery. it's just making a move, which guys have always done first and still do most of the time. it's just how it works.

the other thing: what do you really think of this girl, or all the other girls you know, for that matter? is it paramount to keep some form of a friendship, no matter what? would you like to know them just for their own sakes? or are you fairly certain that you want to engage them romantically? if so, you probably won't be comfortable or satisfied knowing them as just friends for too long. and that means that you might as well ask, no matter what you think she might say. if she says no, and things become awkward, it doesn't matter...because it was all or nothing.

just try. and don't ask them how they feel about you or whether they like you...you will be able to tell soon enough.

whew. that's a first.

 

[jackangel]

whew. that's a first.

lol, i got sucked in huh. well, at least the first part of my post was directed towards someone who can actually understand and accept something of what i've said to her.

 

[fyxgel2]

you said you are average looking, what do you expect

it is extremely arrogant to think you can read somebody else's mind when you haven't even met them, of course you should still talk to them.

When I say that I am receiving 'negative signs' this usually means that I have already met them and talked to them.

Is there any point really in asking a girl out, if you are not positive, but you think that she may not want to go out with you?

 

[ceo]

sure! You could just look at it as a numbers game...eventually someone will say yes. But, it helps if you are confident, funny, and show that you actually listen to them in subtle ways.

 

[Deleted member 33117]

flxygel, read this. This is perfect Don't make everything such a big deal flxgel. Just meet up w/a chick and casually have a good time. (But, remember to be a man or you will just be a friend.

good luck my young horny friend

Update. She just left. We fucked 7 times or so between 1 am and noon today. Just went out to have a good time, drink a few drinks and hang out, and at abotu 12:30 am she started making out with me at the bar (after paying for all of my drinks...I spent exactally $1.75), so we left and came back to my place.

See how easy that is?

 

[-SD-]

Update. She just left. We fucked 7 times or so between 1 am and noon today. Just went out to have a good time, drink a few drinks and hang out, and at abotu 12:30 am she started making out with me at the bar (after paying for all of my drinks...I spent exactally $1.75), so we left and came back to my place.

See how easy that is?

all about the bar sluts bruh