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T
the_clockwork
Guest
Bad drivers. You motherfuckers make me late for work, make me pay more in insurance, increase my blood pressure, which increases my chances of having a heart attack, which increases my medical bills, which makes makes me pay more in health insurance, which makes me break the law and order unregulated drugs from Canada, which wastes money in the form of extra money spent on crafting legislation and then enforcing that legislation, which strains our ties with motherfuckin Canada, which nobody cares about and which just wants to be left alone, eh?
You fucking cocksuckers talking on your blackberries and checking your fucking email in the left hand lane, making the rest of us who want to go the speed limit drive around your self-important, environmentally friendly gas electric motherfuckin hybrid piece of shit, directly increasing my and everyone else's accident risk (not to mention risk of death, since we're on the FUCKING HIGHWAY and not in your cookie cutter suburban neighborhood with your mexican-manicured lawns and hedges where the speed limit is 15 mph and there are 2 ft tall speed bumps every 20 ft) GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY WAY.
The next fucking crackhead who rear ends me in his piece of shit, rusted out caprice classic, with rims that cost more than his fucking car and an eardrum shattering sound system (which probably caused the accident in the first place) that tells me "Sorry dawg, I ain't got no inSHERance" is getting the crow bar treatment on his fuckin spinners until I decide the damage is about even. There's your fucking insurance, "dawg."
God bless senior citizens, but take your blue hair, your lincoln continental, and your self-imposed 30 mph speed limit, and STOP TAKING UP TWO FUCKING LANES AND DRIVING WITH YOUR BLINKER ON. If you can't see or hear your blinker for 10 fucking miles, maybe it's time to reevaluate your driving competency.
Teenagers, illegal mexicans, soccer moms, yuppies, bus drivers, taxicabs. Fuck, this is about to spiral out of control and I'm about to have a stroke.
I want a mandatory physical and mental driving test for EVERYONE, EVERY YEAR. Except for me because, after all, it was MY idea. If you fail and get caught driving, you have the choice of being either stoned OR drawn and quartered. And it's all televised live on PPV. You motherfuckers stop talking on your phone, flapping your fucking mouth, putting on your makeup (fucking whores), fucking with your 6 disc changer and LEARN HOW TO DRIVE LIKE A FUCKING NORMAL PERSON. THIS IS NOT A GAME!!!
You fucking cocksuckers talking on your blackberries and checking your fucking email in the left hand lane, making the rest of us who want to go the speed limit drive around your self-important, environmentally friendly gas electric motherfuckin hybrid piece of shit, directly increasing my and everyone else's accident risk (not to mention risk of death, since we're on the FUCKING HIGHWAY and not in your cookie cutter suburban neighborhood with your mexican-manicured lawns and hedges where the speed limit is 15 mph and there are 2 ft tall speed bumps every 20 ft) GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY WAY.
The next fucking crackhead who rear ends me in his piece of shit, rusted out caprice classic, with rims that cost more than his fucking car and an eardrum shattering sound system (which probably caused the accident in the first place) that tells me "Sorry dawg, I ain't got no inSHERance" is getting the crow bar treatment on his fuckin spinners until I decide the damage is about even. There's your fucking insurance, "dawg."
God bless senior citizens, but take your blue hair, your lincoln continental, and your self-imposed 30 mph speed limit, and STOP TAKING UP TWO FUCKING LANES AND DRIVING WITH YOUR BLINKER ON. If you can't see or hear your blinker for 10 fucking miles, maybe it's time to reevaluate your driving competency.
Teenagers, illegal mexicans, soccer moms, yuppies, bus drivers, taxicabs. Fuck, this is about to spiral out of control and I'm about to have a stroke.
I want a mandatory physical and mental driving test for EVERYONE, EVERY YEAR. Except for me because, after all, it was MY idea. If you fail and get caught driving, you have the choice of being either stoned OR drawn and quartered. And it's all televised live on PPV. You motherfuckers stop talking on your phone, flapping your fucking mouth, putting on your makeup (fucking whores), fucking with your 6 disc changer and LEARN HOW TO DRIVE LIKE A FUCKING NORMAL PERSON. THIS IS NOT A GAME!!!
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