Help Pls:(

[muscledog95]

ok I know this is a training board and i sorry if any of you think this doesnt belong but i need to vent. Ive been with my gf for 3 yrs and now I have no desire to be with her anymore. She is the perfect gf, but its just not htere anymore. To top it off ive met someone else that is great and this whole situation is realllly stressing me out. Ive eat like once a day, im weak, my lifts have gone down. I never ever get stressed in life, im as care free as they come but im finally getting beat by life here... I never ask for help when it comes to me and my life but I need it now...Getting beat here...any advice?

 

[cheesecake]

To top it off ive met someone else that is great and this whole situation is realllly stressing me out.

Just my opinion here, but it sounds like this is your problem.

When you are having problems in a relationship, the grass always looks greener on the other side. The fact of the matter is that everybody has things about them that will drive you nuts. And this new person will eventually have problems like your girlfriend does.

Forget the gym for a while. Seek counseling. Talk to a married couple that you know. Talk to a pastor. But most importantly talk to your girlfriend. After three years, she at least deserves that.
...chad...

 

[muscledog95]

yes i know its my problem. Im a asshole for this but cant help how i feel. The other women has nothing to do with my feelings changing. She wasnt even in the picture before this started. What is killing me the most is i care about her that i dont want to crush her but dont care about her like that anymore...if that makes any since. Im a dickhead for this i know

 

[Backlash]

EVERY couple has some problems. The question is: can you work through them? You both have to want to try.

 

[cheesecake]

yes i know its my problem....The other women has nothing to do with my feelings changing. She wasnt even in the picture before this started.

She might not have been in the picture when it started, but she certainly isn't helping the situation any.

If you want my opinion, you need to cut all ties with this second woman and focus on your relationship with your girlfriend. Of course, that all depends on if you really care about your girlfriend. But you said that you do.
...chad...

 

[Nonerz]

maybe you just grew apart?

so what is stressing you out? the fact that you forsee a breakup?

 

[Becoming]

Dude- you are 22.... some people here will disagree (and I myself and 28 and married for a year now) but what the heck are you doing dating someone for 3 years....

 

[Backlash]

Becoming - ??? What's wrong with that?

I am 25 now and have been married 2.5 years and couldn't be happier. I was with my girlfriend for 5 years before we got married - that's how I knew it would work (it wasn't just some young, quickie marriage).

 

[casualbb]

Pretty girls who seem great are a dime a dozen. Real women who will accept you for who you are, have a good attitude, and stay with you for 3 years are hard to find.

This happens naturally with any relationship -- as you spend time with your partner, the initial intrigue, mystery, and infatuation gives way to routine. People seem a lot less sexy when they wake up in the morning and haven't showered.

You've experienced all the behind-the-scenes stuff, all the little nitpicky things she does which might annoy you. Guaranteed this new girl has those two, you're just not aware of them.

 

[SofaGeorge]

If you don't want to be with her stop being a chicken shit and pack your bags. It will hurt her when you tell her... but it will hurt her worse to live in the kind of relationship you offer.

 

[Becoming]

Backlash- nothing personal... was not meaning to offend... there are always exceptions and I am sure you are a cool bro...

Though I am sure this does not include you and many others Backlash, but I know of way too many people that got serious too young before knowing themselves and the world and are now divorced w/ or w/o kids... and that sucks

If you are too young to realize you think that other girl is hot just due to infatuation, you are too young to really appreciate what someone really has to offer and you should not be taking up 2-3 years of somones life when they and you could be with someone else or experiencing the world or countless other things besides "playing house"


From my experience it was my previous girlfriends that helped me to find what I was looking for (because they did not have those things) and that allowed me to recognize those things in my wife when I met her...

I just figure if you know what you do not like or where it falls short, just make a note of it and learn from the relationship for future ones... Granted relationships take work, but if it is something major, people generally do not change...


muscledog- don't know your exact scenario in depth, but if you are out, be out like sofa says, don't string the girl along...

 

[hellboy]

Sofa's advice. Don't string her along. It will hurt both her and you more in the long run. You're young. This will NOT be the last time you are in this situation - believe me. So you may as well make a habit of handling it like a man and not being a pussy about it.