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Buddy_Christ
New member
Have you ever wondered what's gay and what's not? it seems that King Missile figured this out years ago. not only did they figure out what's gay and what's not gay, they also figured out what to put up your ass.
Right click save as - Gay/Not Gay
King Missile, Gay/Not Gay
I saw an episode of the Jerry Springer Show and the topic was "Transvestites and the men who love them." And the guy was on with his "girlfriend" and he was saying, "To me, this is a beautiful woman: she's got a perfect body, beautiful blonde hair, everything. I love her and I love making love to her. Now I ask you, Does that make me gay?"
Most of the audience throught so, and so did I, but it got me thinking about what is and isn't gay.
Discussing sex with a guy is gay. Discussing sex with a woman is straight. Even saying to a woman, "sometimes I wonder what it would be like to suck a cock," is straight.
Sports are gay, especially contact sports -- unless you're the only guy on either team, in which case it's straight. Gyms are always gay because afterwards, in the locker room, you're showering with guys, and that's gay.
Watching pornography alone is neutral, like eating a sandwich: it's neither straight nor gay. Watching pornos with one or more other guys in the room, no matter how many other women are also in the room, is gay. Watching porn, even gay porn, with one or more women only, is straight.
Here's an interesting one: kissing a gay guy on the cheek, or letting him kiss you on the cheek, is neutral -- as long as the guy is out of the closet. Hugging and/or kissing a straight guy is gay.
See, look, I know I'm a homophobic, but not about gay guys, they don't bother me at all. It's straight guys who don't know they're gay -- they fuck my shit right up.
Like a guy calls me up on the phone and says, "A bunch of us guys are gonna sit around in our underwear and watch the football game and drink beer and eat chips and you know, maybe wrestle with each other a little, you know, just us guys. You want to come over?" And I'm like, "No."
Okay, if you've got a guy sucking your dick, even if he's dressed like a beautiful woman, even if he's got the best breast implants you've ever seen, even if you're saying to him, "suck it bitch, I know you like it, you slut, you whore," that's gay.
Conversely, if a woman straps on a dildo, and you're dressed like a woman, and you're sucking her cock, and she's saying, "You like it don't you? You like sucking my dick, you little fucking faggot," and then she rolls you over and fucks you in the ass and says, "You love it, you little pussy boy, you love getting fucked in the ass. I'll bet you wish I was a man, I bet you wish this was a real cock, you fucking faggot," and you're getting off on this like you've never gotten off before, that's still straight.
But then, when you go off to the bar and discuss this or any other sexual experience with other guys, that's gay.
Here's the most interesting one: sucking a guy's cock can, under cetain rare circumstances, be straight. Let's say you've gotten into a betting game with a woman, and the bet is whoever loses has to be the other one's slave for a night -- the kind of thing that happens in Penthouse Forum all the time -- and you lose, and the woman makes you have sex with another guy -- that's not gay. I don't know exactly why, but it's not.
so now that we know what's gay and what's not gay, let's discover what belongs up an ass.
right click save as - Up My Ass
King Missile - Up My Ass
Up my ass.
A lit candle up my ass.
A firecracker a finger a thumb up my ass.
An egg, a vibrating egg a scrambled egg up my ass.
A dildo strapped on to a manikin, wearing a Nixon mask up my ass.
Power tools, an electric drill, a screw driver, a monkey wrench, up my ass.
A monkey up my ass.
A potpourri of assorted fragrences up my ass, up my smell ass hole, because I'm not one of those guys who walks around pretending that my shit don't stink, my shit stinks, I admit it, and right now there is a lot of shit up my ass up my ass.
up my ass and to the left up my ass
up my ass step right up, step right up come one, come all, up my ass
everyone and everything up my ass
everything except for your skanky bullshit artificial plastic dick looks like you bought it at the k-mart.
Fuck you with your bogus dildo
you can shove that up your ass honey, not mine
up my ass, I got a special gift for you right here come and get it -- it's up my ass
Encyclopedia Britannica the Louisana purchase
Shields and Yarnell up my ass
your grandmother up my ass
chocolates
lollipops
all free today
children...children
anyone have King Missile's song Detachable Penis? i havn't heard that in a long ass time.
Right click save as - Gay/Not Gay
King Missile, Gay/Not Gay
I saw an episode of the Jerry Springer Show and the topic was "Transvestites and the men who love them." And the guy was on with his "girlfriend" and he was saying, "To me, this is a beautiful woman: she's got a perfect body, beautiful blonde hair, everything. I love her and I love making love to her. Now I ask you, Does that make me gay?"
Most of the audience throught so, and so did I, but it got me thinking about what is and isn't gay.
Discussing sex with a guy is gay. Discussing sex with a woman is straight. Even saying to a woman, "sometimes I wonder what it would be like to suck a cock," is straight.
Sports are gay, especially contact sports -- unless you're the only guy on either team, in which case it's straight. Gyms are always gay because afterwards, in the locker room, you're showering with guys, and that's gay.
Watching pornography alone is neutral, like eating a sandwich: it's neither straight nor gay. Watching pornos with one or more other guys in the room, no matter how many other women are also in the room, is gay. Watching porn, even gay porn, with one or more women only, is straight.
Here's an interesting one: kissing a gay guy on the cheek, or letting him kiss you on the cheek, is neutral -- as long as the guy is out of the closet. Hugging and/or kissing a straight guy is gay.
See, look, I know I'm a homophobic, but not about gay guys, they don't bother me at all. It's straight guys who don't know they're gay -- they fuck my shit right up.
Like a guy calls me up on the phone and says, "A bunch of us guys are gonna sit around in our underwear and watch the football game and drink beer and eat chips and you know, maybe wrestle with each other a little, you know, just us guys. You want to come over?" And I'm like, "No."
Okay, if you've got a guy sucking your dick, even if he's dressed like a beautiful woman, even if he's got the best breast implants you've ever seen, even if you're saying to him, "suck it bitch, I know you like it, you slut, you whore," that's gay.
Conversely, if a woman straps on a dildo, and you're dressed like a woman, and you're sucking her cock, and she's saying, "You like it don't you? You like sucking my dick, you little fucking faggot," and then she rolls you over and fucks you in the ass and says, "You love it, you little pussy boy, you love getting fucked in the ass. I'll bet you wish I was a man, I bet you wish this was a real cock, you fucking faggot," and you're getting off on this like you've never gotten off before, that's still straight.
But then, when you go off to the bar and discuss this or any other sexual experience with other guys, that's gay.
Here's the most interesting one: sucking a guy's cock can, under cetain rare circumstances, be straight. Let's say you've gotten into a betting game with a woman, and the bet is whoever loses has to be the other one's slave for a night -- the kind of thing that happens in Penthouse Forum all the time -- and you lose, and the woman makes you have sex with another guy -- that's not gay. I don't know exactly why, but it's not.
so now that we know what's gay and what's not gay, let's discover what belongs up an ass.
right click save as - Up My Ass
King Missile - Up My Ass
Up my ass.
A lit candle up my ass.
A firecracker a finger a thumb up my ass.
An egg, a vibrating egg a scrambled egg up my ass.
A dildo strapped on to a manikin, wearing a Nixon mask up my ass.
Power tools, an electric drill, a screw driver, a monkey wrench, up my ass.
A monkey up my ass.
A potpourri of assorted fragrences up my ass, up my smell ass hole, because I'm not one of those guys who walks around pretending that my shit don't stink, my shit stinks, I admit it, and right now there is a lot of shit up my ass up my ass.
up my ass and to the left up my ass
up my ass step right up, step right up come one, come all, up my ass
everyone and everything up my ass
everything except for your skanky bullshit artificial plastic dick looks like you bought it at the k-mart.
Fuck you with your bogus dildo
you can shove that up your ass honey, not mine
up my ass, I got a special gift for you right here come and get it -- it's up my ass
Encyclopedia Britannica the Louisana purchase
Shields and Yarnell up my ass
your grandmother up my ass
chocolates
lollipops
all free today
children...children
anyone have King Missile's song Detachable Penis? i havn't heard that in a long ass time.
