Have A Squirrel Day

[PlateheadJim]

“Sir! Sir!”
“Yes?!” I said to the loud waiter.
“Could you settle for just a shot of whiskey instead of that huge fancy drink you ordered?”
“Why? You out?”
“No…. It’s too big for me to carry.” I looked at the waiter, his white & blue tropical island kind of suit was neatly buttoned and seemed to fit him perfectly. There was even a perfectly shaped hole in the rear of the suit for his bushy tail. “Ok…” I gave in. “You’re just a one foot tall squirrel after all.” The squirrel, dressed as a waiter thanked me as he zipped back to the bar, ran up the side of the counter, grabbed my whiskey shot with his teeth and brought it back to me. “Thank You!” I threw him a couple pecans as he did a back flip, took a shit and ran up the nearest tree making shrieking sounds.

Damn Squirrels!

 

[ashe]

damn squirrels!!!

Tarzan had been living alone in his jungle kingdom for 25 years with only suitably shaped holes in trees for sex.

Jane, a reporter, came to Africa in search of this legendary figure. One day, deep in the wild, she came to a clearing and discovered Tarzan vigorously thrusting into a jungle oak. She watched in awe for a while.

Finally, overcome by this display of animal passion, Jane came out into the open and offered herself to him. As she reclined on the wild grass, Tarzan became aroused. He quickly ran over and kicked her in the crotch. In pain, she screamed, "What the hell did you do that for?" Tarzan replied,

"Tarzan always check for squirrels."

 

[TheProject]

Re: damn squirrels!!!

Tarzan had been living alone in his jungle kingdom for 25 years with only suitably shaped holes in trees for sex.

Jane, a reporter, came to Africa in search of this legendary figure. One day, deep in the wild, she came to a clearing and discovered Tarzan vigorously thrusting into a jungle oak. She watched in awe for a while.

Finally, overcome by this display of animal passion, Jane came out into the open and offered herself to him. As she reclined on the wild grass, Tarzan became aroused. He quickly ran over and kicked her in the crotch. In pain, she screamed, "What the hell did you do that for?" Tarzan replied,

"Tarzan always check for squirrels."