No, but once my brother brought out a rifle and aimed it at my stepfathers back. I sure didn't yell to warn my stepfather. I gave my brother a nod as if to say, "Yeah, pull the trigger." The gun jammed; my brother ducked back behind the corner; my stepfather never knew how close we came to killing him.
In my mind, I have done it countless times. I have pulled the blade across his throat while looking into his eyes and watched him gasp for breath, like a fish out of water saying only, "HOW YOU LIKE ME NOW, MOTHERFUCKER?"
And then I come back to the sad reality of our lives.