Has anybody else been through this?(Child support)

[Pimp C]

I have a hearing tomorrow.

I don't want to get out of ANY of my responsibilities but I don't wanna get ripped off either. The girl I got prego lives with her parents, they never have liked me. I've been there for her ever since she got prego last Nov. I've helped pay half of all the doctor bills and I keep the baby at my house at least 2x a week and I have a nursery,crib,close etc(which she is telling me doesn't mean anything when they figure what I'm going to have to pay). The girl wasn't going to make me pay child support because she knows I will always pay at least half but her bitch ass parents are insisting we go through the child support sys. I really didn't argue about it and dont mind paying but I'm starting to think they are going to try to get as much out of this as they can. The first thing that made me think this are her parents are insisting on going to the hearing with us. (She's 23 BTW) Then she stopped by last night to pick up the baby and told my mom that she thinks I'm going to be mad at her after the hearing. She also said that her parents are going to start making her pay rent and her mom is going to charge for babysitting. I'm thinking that her parents are charging these BS expenses all of a sudden because it'll make me have to pay more for child support. Anybody know if it works that way??
I'd like to get the hearing rescheduled but I think I have to have an attorney for that and I really don't have the extra cash right now.
I was just really wanting to rant and hope that maybe somebody knows a little about how the child support system works. I'd really like to get shared parenting because I have everything he needs at my house already. I honestly don't even know how to go about doing that though, I don't know if I need to mention that tomorrow or not.
Anyways, if anyone has any info I'd love to hear it.

 

[javaguru]

Child support is determined by cross referencing your income on a chart, simple as that. Her expenses play absolutely no part in the amount you will pay, everything is factored into the chart. FYI, child support is the right of the child and not the mother, it's an important legal distinction.

 

[Binky]

Don't know about where you live but......
Illinois is a flat 20% for 1 kid, 25% for 2 kids.
If you have to pay child support at least try
and get authority to claim the kid on your
income tax.....you'll get a good deduction for
a long time.

Good Luck.

 

[Jae]

#1 Of course her parents are going to make her pay rent and for baby sitting. They are not running a baby making factory. She is 23 still living with her parents and has a baby. She needs to learn responsibility. And you are still living with YOUR parents.... babies making babies..... Her parents seem to be the ones using common sense. If your daughter was in this position, you would certainly be making her go to court.

#2 The legal system in GA, doesn't give a fuck about your income. That cross referencing your salary is completely bullshit. They will establish how much it is going to cost to support a child, which they already have written down, and if you don't have that much, too bad for you. You better get it. Work two jobs, or whatever. If your state has a flat rate or percentage you have to pay, that is better.

#3 You *DO* want to go through the legal system. Get your guidelines, follow them so her bitch ass parents won't use what you are "willing" to do against you. Make sure you get your visiting rights established up front. None of this "reasonable" agreement shit. Or else for the next 18 years everytime you want to see your kid, she can say it is not "reasonable" and you can't do a damn thing about it except return to court.

#4 What you have at your place, crib, toys, clothes, etc.. doesn't matter at all in the court's eyes. They only care about that baby having ONE home, which is going to be hers, and that baby needs everything in THAT home.

#5 Shared parenting = joint custody = you don't have a chance. How is this for joint custody?.. Her Mother, Her Father, and Her share custody with Your Mother, Your Father and you. Not an appealing idea is it? And you are both living under your parents roof which would make them guardians of the child. What you need to do is GET YOUR OWN PLACE!!! Then you will be an independent adult in the eyes of the legal system and be able to suggest joint custody. Right now though, they would laugh you out of the courtroom.

Right now, as bad as it may sound, her parents are doing the right thing. The only thing I can tell you is keep your nose clean, because they will be trying to keep that baby away from you since they dislike you. Pay your fees and money, so you won't end up on negligence warrants and get picked up and set in jail a few days, see that baby as much as you can. And suck it up, you have 18 years of this ahead of you.

 

[Pimp C]

Thanks for the reply Jae. Not really what I wanted to hear but you make good points.

I imagine they are going to want me to sign papers tomorrow with a set amount I have to pay. Do you guys think I should refuse to sign them until I get a chance to take them home and read over them and possible take them to an attorney?

I have a friend who said Child Support makes you pay alot more than a judge will. She said her ex was supposed to pay $90/wk and he refused to sign the papers. When he went in front of the judge they only made him pay $50.

 

[TxCollegeguy]

From talking with friends who have gone through this I would say go talk to the girl and try and convince her to forgo this. You should have gotten a lawyer by now. If you can come to some sort of Arrangement out of court by all means. States dont do dick for Fathers in most cases so avoid them if at all possible. Tell that girl you want to work with her and not her parents. If the Grandparents are wanting to charge rent and babysitting fees tell them to fuck themselves and put the kid in Daycare. At least if your going to pay for your childs care they can spend it in an area which to be around other people

 

[Pimp C]

Txcollegeguy- Man I wish we could work this out out of court but the way her parents are thats going to be impossible. Also with her parents butting in its caused some arguments between her and I so right now we are not getting along at all. I just have a feeling I'm fucked. I mean tomorrow its gonna be her, her parents, and the child support people against me.

 

[mrbill]

Get a Lawyer!! don't go into legal matters such as this without one.

 

[TxCollegeguy]

Get a lawyer. You can't affoard to do this without one.

 

[Jae]

Answer this...

Does the baby have your last name? Are you named as the father on the birth certificate?

Have you had blood work done to prove the child is yours?

These could be argumentive points that could be used to postpone signing anything until you can consult with a lawyer. Get a court appointed lawyer if possible. Once a judge rules on it, a lawyer will not be able to change it without a new trial and you must have evidence to secure a new trial.

Now consider this situation about working things outside a courtroom. Let's say you continue to do what you are doing now, contributing $$, food, clothes, etc... and you do this for 4-5 years. Now if this girl gets a wild hair up her ass (hey we are talking about FEMALES here) and she takes you to court at that time, you will probably pay a bigger amount IN ADDITION TO HAVING TO PAY BACK CHILD SUPPORT FROM THE TIME THE CHILD WAS BORN.

 

[Jae]

I have gone through the court system twice. Once when I was 19 to get custody of my son and again at 22 to retain custody. Just remember that the courts are there for YOU too.

Of course the Child Support people are going to be after more from you. The more they get from you, the less taxpayers have to pay to support your child. If you are looking at the cheap way, then take a look at what they want you to pay. If it is under $55 weekly - TAKE IT BUT ONLY AS LONG AS IT SPELLS OUT A SPECIFIC VISITATION RIGHT PERIOD. FIRST AND THIRD WEEKEND, DAY AFTER CHRISTMAS, ONE WEEK IN THE SUMMER. DO NOT FOREGO YOUR VISITATION RIGHTS. THIS WILL COME HANDY IN THE FUTURE. IF YOU DO, IT CAN BE USED AGAINST YOU.

Otherwise, if it is over $55, then go to court. If you go to court, in addition to the $55, you will be responsible for school costs, clothing, medical/dental cost and insurance.

 

[Pimp C]

Thanks Jae thats alot of good info.

Can I actually get the visitation thing done by the child support people? I was under the impression I have to go to juvenile court for that.

So I have to get the visitation thing done before I sign the child support papers?

 

[Jae]

This is what you do. Go and see what the Child Support people say. Look at the amount, but DO NOT SIGN ANYTHING. If they pressure you, just tell them, "hey, I have been thinking about it and I think I would make a better parent and I am consulting a lawyer about getting custody of this child." They will back off quickly then. If not, walk out. They CAN NOT arrest you.

Then get yourself a lawyer and express concern about your visitation rights. But in the mean time, still continue giving the mother some money and KEEP TRACK OF EVERYTHING FOR GOD'S SAKE. You will then be moved to the Juvenile courts which will probably take about 4-8 months before your case comes up. You will get both visitation rights assigned and child support assigned in the same hearing. If you sign with Child Support, you will have to go to court anyway to get your visitation rights. So why not get both things done at the same time? When you get to court, you can always take the amount of the Child Support people you were presented with and agree to that then. Or if you think it is too high, you can see what the judge assigns.

 

[Pimp C]

Jae, My name is on the birth certificate, he has my last name, and I've had a DNA test done.

She's pissed because I told her I'm not signing anything tomorrow and now she won't let me see him tonight.

 

[Hoffmeister]

Been thru this, in Ohio. We were married, but I don't think that affects anything in regards to child support.

First, the cross-reference is correct. There's a table based on combined income, which represents the total amount required to "support" the child. Your percentage of the combined income is the percentage of that total amount you will owe. You could probably find a copy of the table on the 'net.

The rent won't affect anything, but the babysitting WILL. The one thing I'd try to do is make them show she has been paying for babysitting, and that it isn't something they just came up with prior to the hearing.

Child Support has absolutely NOTHING to do with visitation. Her withholding visitation is NOT grounds to stop Child Support, just as NOT paying Child Support is NOT grounds to withhold visitation.

Since you ARE the father, I wouldn't dick around about the Child Support. It WILL become effective as of the date she filed, whether you actually sign anything or not. The best you will do is put off paying, but it will begin to accumulate immediately, and then you'll owe back child support.

Now I'm not a lawyer. All of the above is just my experience. You NEED a lawyer.

 

[Pimp C]

The rent won't affect anything, but the babysitting WILL. The one thing I'd try to do is make them show she has been paying for babysitting, and that it isn't something they just came up with prior to the hearing.

She HASN'T been paying for babysitting so I'll make sure they know that.

 

[Hoffmeister]

Actually, I think it only counts if it is "daycare", required for her to work.

My guess is a decent lawyer would get that out. It would be too easy for her and her parents to make this sort of "agreement", and then just give it back, etc. Especially if it just "started" for the hearing.

Look, nothing should be construed as trying to duck your obligation. Child Support is for the kid.

You need to get a visitation agreement signed as well. I've been thru that, and withholding visitation is pure bullshit.

Don't know where in Ohio you are, but I know a damn good lawyer in Akron. Pretty pricey, but you get what you pay for. If you want his name/number, give me a PM.

 

[Pimp C]

Hoffmeister, I'm actually closer to Cincy. Thanks for all the help bro!