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A little girl goes up to her mom and asks, "What's that?"
The mom answers, "A vagina."
And the little girl asks, "Well, when am I gonna get one?"
And the mom answers, "As soon as you grow up."
Then the little girl goes up to her dad and asks, "What's that?"
And the dad answers, "A penis."
So the little girl asks, "Well, when am I gonna get one?"
And the the dad answers, "As soon as your mom goes to work."
The mom answers, "A vagina."
And the little girl asks, "Well, when am I gonna get one?"
And the mom answers, "As soon as you grow up."
Then the little girl goes up to her dad and asks, "What's that?"
And the dad answers, "A penis."
So the little girl asks, "Well, when am I gonna get one?"
And the the dad answers, "As soon as your mom goes to work."
D
DcupSheepNipples
Guest
So this lady elephant is walking along the forest, when she
gets a sliver in her foot. It's really quite painful, so when
she sees this bunny rabbit on the forest floor, she asks him
to pull the sliver out.
The rabbit says, "Okay, but if I do this favour for you, you
have to promise to do a favour for me."
"Alright," says the elephant, "what?"
"Well you see," says the rabbit, "I haven't gotten my rocks
off in a long time. I've had no action at all, and I thought
that you might help me."
The elephant is a little shocked, but she wants that sliver
out, so she agrees.
So the rabbit pulls the sliver out and says, "Okay, get ready,"
and jumps up there and starts going to town with the elephant.
This monkey in a tree nearby sees this little bunny rabbit going
at with the elephant, and he starts jumping up and down and
laughing in the tree. He jumps so hard that a coconut falls
out of the tree and hits the elephant on the head.
The elephant says, "Ouch!"
And the rabbit says, "That's right bitch, take it all!"
gets a sliver in her foot. It's really quite painful, so when
she sees this bunny rabbit on the forest floor, she asks him
to pull the sliver out.
The rabbit says, "Okay, but if I do this favour for you, you
have to promise to do a favour for me."
"Alright," says the elephant, "what?"
"Well you see," says the rabbit, "I haven't gotten my rocks
off in a long time. I've had no action at all, and I thought
that you might help me."
The elephant is a little shocked, but she wants that sliver
out, so she agrees.
So the rabbit pulls the sliver out and says, "Okay, get ready,"
and jumps up there and starts going to town with the elephant.
This monkey in a tree nearby sees this little bunny rabbit going
at with the elephant, and he starts jumping up and down and
laughing in the tree. He jumps so hard that a coconut falls
out of the tree and hits the elephant on the head.
The elephant says, "Ouch!"
And the rabbit says, "That's right bitch, take it all!"
molnii
New member
Little Johnny is taking a shower with his mother and says, “Mom, what are those things on your chest?”
Unsure of how to reply, she tells Johnny to ask his dad at breakfast tomorrow, quite certain the matter would be forgotten. Johnny didn’t forget. The following morning he asked his father the same question. His father, always quick with the answers, says, “Why Johnny, those are balloons. When your mommy dies, we can blow them up and she’ll float to heaven.”
Johnny thinks that’s neat and asks no more questions. A few weeks later, Johnny’s dad comes home from work a few hours early. Johnny runs out of the house crying hysterically, “Daddy! Daddy! Mommy’s dying!”
His father says, “Calm down, son! Why do you think Mommy’s dying?”
“Uncle Harry is blowing up Mommy’s balloons and she’s screaming, ‘Oh God, I’m coming!’”
Unsure of how to reply, she tells Johnny to ask his dad at breakfast tomorrow, quite certain the matter would be forgotten. Johnny didn’t forget. The following morning he asked his father the same question. His father, always quick with the answers, says, “Why Johnny, those are balloons. When your mommy dies, we can blow them up and she’ll float to heaven.”
Johnny thinks that’s neat and asks no more questions. A few weeks later, Johnny’s dad comes home from work a few hours early. Johnny runs out of the house crying hysterically, “Daddy! Daddy! Mommy’s dying!”
His father says, “Calm down, son! Why do you think Mommy’s dying?”
“Uncle Harry is blowing up Mommy’s balloons and she’s screaming, ‘Oh God, I’m coming!’”
molnii
New member
A man is driving down a deserted stretch of highway, when he notices a sign out of the corner of his eye. It says Sisters of Mercy House of Prostitution 10 Miles. He thinks it was just a figment of his imagination and drives on without a second thought. Soon, he sees another sign which says Sisters of Mercy House of Prostitution 5 Miles and realizes that these signs are for real. When he drives past a third sign saying Sisters of Mercy House of Prostitution Next Right, his curiosity gets the best of him and he pulls into the drive.
On the far side of the parking lot is a somber stone building with a small sign next to the door reading SISTERS OF MERCY. He climbs the steps and rings the bell. The door is answered by a nun in a long black habit who asks "What may we do for you, my son?" He answers "I saw your signs along the highway, and was interested in possibly doing business."
"Very well, my son. Please follow me." He is led through many winding passages and is soon quite disoriented. The nun stops at a closed door,and tells the man "Please knock on this door." He does as he is told and this door is answered by another nun in a long habit and holding a tin cup.This nun instructs "Please place $50 in the cup, then go through the large wooden door at the end of this hallway." He gets $50 out of his wallet and places it in the second nun's cup.
He trots eagerly down the hall and slips through the door, pulling it shut behind him. As the door locks behind him, he finds himself back in the parking lot, facing another small sign:
Go in Peace, You Have Just Been Screwed by the Sisters of Mercy.
On the far side of the parking lot is a somber stone building with a small sign next to the door reading SISTERS OF MERCY. He climbs the steps and rings the bell. The door is answered by a nun in a long black habit who asks "What may we do for you, my son?" He answers "I saw your signs along the highway, and was interested in possibly doing business."
"Very well, my son. Please follow me." He is led through many winding passages and is soon quite disoriented. The nun stops at a closed door,and tells the man "Please knock on this door." He does as he is told and this door is answered by another nun in a long habit and holding a tin cup.This nun instructs "Please place $50 in the cup, then go through the large wooden door at the end of this hallway." He gets $50 out of his wallet and places it in the second nun's cup.
He trots eagerly down the hall and slips through the door, pulling it shut behind him. As the door locks behind him, he finds himself back in the parking lot, facing another small sign:
Go in Peace, You Have Just Been Screwed by the Sisters of Mercy.
