Please Scroll Down to See Forums Below 
.jpg "Research Chemical Sciences")
.png "Research Chemical Sciences")
Yarg!
Platinum Membership gift from THE BOMB SQUAD!
Yeah.. so a buddy of mines 19th bday. And to celebrate we leave all of our baggage at home (GFs) and we hit up the swankiest strip club in town. Pretty soon we have forgotten all about our signifigant others and are having a blast. My buddy got like 5 lap dances so he smelled like fresh vagina for the rest of the night, and man I had like 5 rum and cokes and 2 beers... it was awesome. Still kinda buzzed. Anyways, we decided to act a fool up in there and we started hitting on women. I was sooo drunk so I didn't care and I went for this one waitress that was working there. She was soo fucking fine.. like beautiful blonde hair, PERFECT figure, great cock sucking lips.. just perfection.... Usually I would feel intimidated, but as my partying bros know, alcohol does wonders one's courage and so I approached her. I am like "hey my name is __" and shes like "Im __" and I get this... kissed her fucking hand. I have never done that before. She starts blushing and I am like "There are soo many beautiful ladies in here, but I can't seem to take my eyes off you." and shes like "aww you're soo sweet. (prolly thinking... why thats original.). BUT! I have a game plan. So I was like "you prolyl hear that every night though, and so to make a lasting impression , can I quote Robert Frost?" And shes like smiling and giggling, but ofcourse she doesnt know who RF is and she goes "Ok..sure!" And I say "A rose is a rose. But as the saying goes a plum is a rose, and so is the pear I suppose. the theory is that anything can be a rose, but you are a rose and were always a rose." (tthe actual poem is much longer and I said it differently to her then what Im typing here , but you try reciting Frost while drunk to a hot waitress at a strip club). And obviously she didn't get it... but she does know I called her a rose so shes like "aww thats soo sweet." And so I go "would you like to get together sometime and have a coffee or something without all these drunken idiots (ooh the ironing...) and shes like "I have a BF, but that was so sweet and original and I can't forget it." So I settle for her email, and she goes "the next drink is on me (Score!)" Im like "your BF is a very lucky man." And shes blushing, she hugs me, squeezes me pretty tight, i sneak in a kiss and leave with her email and a free beer. She waves me good night when I leave and I'm outta there. Ofcourse it could be a fake email or something, but whatever, I got a free drink out of it and a hug and she had nice tits and smelled great.
We leave, I get props.. On the street, the night is still young and me and my buddy are still drunk. So we're liek lets CRASH AND BURN!!! We see these group of 5 HOTTIES just walking down the street (at 11;30ish?) and we both looked at each other and nodded. I am liek "follow my lead." so we go upto them and I Go "excuse me ladies. Hi im ___" and shake their hands. Then I go, my friend here, hes suffered a terrible car accident, so he lost the ability to speak... so the only way he can communicate is by sexy poses. ANd they start laughing as I point to my friend who starts flexing and doing these Mr. O poses. Ofcourse they didnt take us seriously and just laughed away. We did this to like 4 other women groups!
The last one was the funniest though. It was these 3 chicks (ranging from 5/10 to 7/10) and they were trying to walk their drunk friend home or something and I start introducing myself and her sober friends were having NONE of it. They dont offer their hands cuz they prolly thought I was some drunk (which I was and they have every right to) but their drunk friend offers her hand. And shes like Hi! And her friends are making her keep walking... however I am like here, you guys this is my friend...accident... poses..etc. And the drunk one starts laughing her ass off and her friends keep trying to push her along. She beckons my buddy to come to her and shes liek "take me home!" and puts her arms around him. Hes like "OK!" but one of her friends went "FUUUUCK OFF!!!!!!!" and get this... PUSHES HIS FACE AWAY like in football. LOL! Hes like "hey WTF!" And her other sober friend starts shoving him away and hes like "OK! OK!" and they just walk off. That was fucking hilarious... one of thems like " I GOT MACE MOTHERFUCKER!". LOL . We arrive at McDicks (McDonalds). And to our amazement its the grey cup today so everyones fucking drunk and starting fights! LOL.
Inside we run into one muscle bound marine from the states whose pissed drunk and he goes "FUCK CANADA!" to us for Nooo reason. ANd my buddy goes "fuck you dickhead!" And hes like "What the fuck did you call me?" Ofcourse we don't know hes a Marine untill he goes "I am a fucking marine from the USMC and I just got back from Iraq and I will fuck you up!" and my friend whose a hippys like "Good job, youre Bush's lackey." And hes freaking out and starts shoving my hippy friend "We're like guys comeon, we're all friends here... comeon just get drunk and be happy." We seperate them and they both chill out. And the Marine passes out at a table in his fries. My friends like "Hes no marine..." And we were listening to SOILWORK! on the way so we were in a kinda fighting frame of mind.
But before we came in the Marine called his buddies to pick him up and in walks in like 6 of these huge motherfuckers with buzz cuts and one of them had the unmistakable globe logo of the marines on his arm. His friend points us out to them and at this point I am like "3 months of Muay Thai.. save me now... oh god!" but they just come to us and theyre like "guys what happened?" so we explained and these guys were sooo fucking nice: "yeah our friend always starts shit when hes drunk. he just got back from Iraq so hes kinda edgy, just ignore him and he'll calm down." they shake our hands and leave McDick. We drive back and thats it, now I sit here writing this post still kinda buzzed. What a night....
We leave, I get props.. On the street, the night is still young and me and my buddy are still drunk. So we're liek lets CRASH AND BURN!!! We see these group of 5 HOTTIES just walking down the street (at 11;30ish?) and we both looked at each other and nodded. I am liek "follow my lead." so we go upto them and I Go "excuse me ladies. Hi im ___" and shake their hands. Then I go, my friend here, hes suffered a terrible car accident, so he lost the ability to speak... so the only way he can communicate is by sexy poses. ANd they start laughing as I point to my friend who starts flexing and doing these Mr. O poses. Ofcourse they didnt take us seriously and just laughed away. We did this to like 4 other women groups!
The last one was the funniest though. It was these 3 chicks (ranging from 5/10 to 7/10) and they were trying to walk their drunk friend home or something and I start introducing myself and her sober friends were having NONE of it. They dont offer their hands cuz they prolly thought I was some drunk (which I was and they have every right to) but their drunk friend offers her hand. And shes like Hi! And her friends are making her keep walking... however I am like here, you guys this is my friend...accident... poses..etc. And the drunk one starts laughing her ass off and her friends keep trying to push her along. She beckons my buddy to come to her and shes liek "take me home!" and puts her arms around him. Hes like "OK!" but one of her friends went "FUUUUCK OFF!!!!!!!" and get this... PUSHES HIS FACE AWAY like in football. LOL! Hes like "hey WTF!" And her other sober friend starts shoving him away and hes like "OK! OK!" and they just walk off. That was fucking hilarious... one of thems like " I GOT MACE MOTHERFUCKER!". LOL . We arrive at McDicks (McDonalds). And to our amazement its the grey cup today so everyones fucking drunk and starting fights! LOL.
Inside we run into one muscle bound marine from the states whose pissed drunk and he goes "FUCK CANADA!" to us for Nooo reason. ANd my buddy goes "fuck you dickhead!" And hes like "What the fuck did you call me?" Ofcourse we don't know hes a Marine untill he goes "I am a fucking marine from the USMC and I just got back from Iraq and I will fuck you up!" and my friend whose a hippys like "Good job, youre Bush's lackey." And hes freaking out and starts shoving my hippy friend "We're like guys comeon, we're all friends here... comeon just get drunk and be happy." We seperate them and they both chill out. And the Marine passes out at a table in his fries. My friends like "Hes no marine..." And we were listening to SOILWORK! on the way so we were in a kinda fighting frame of mind.
But before we came in the Marine called his buddies to pick him up and in walks in like 6 of these huge motherfuckers with buzz cuts and one of them had the unmistakable globe logo of the marines on his arm. His friend points us out to them and at this point I am like "3 months of Muay Thai.. save me now... oh god!" but they just come to us and theyre like "guys what happened?" so we explained and these guys were sooo fucking nice: "yeah our friend always starts shit when hes drunk. he just got back from Iraq so hes kinda edgy, just ignore him and he'll calm down." they shake our hands and leave McDick. We drive back and thats it, now I sit here writing this post still kinda buzzed. What a night....
. apart from u say u got drunk off of 5 gins and a few beers. dang. i woulda have dipped that marines ass in the Deep Fat Fryer.
