Give Me Advice: Control My Destiny!

[mrjoker5150]

For about a year, I have been having a recurring dream... here is the background.

I met my ex in my September, 1999. We lived together for about 15 months. We had an awesome relationship, however when we did fight, it was rather bloody. We broke up on New Year's Day, 2001.

For the next few months we would hang out, have insane sex, and be there for each other. Needless to say, we got back together in June 01. For the next four months, we had a great time, and it really seemed to work.

Unfortunately, I had to leave town for a few days in October 01, and upon my return, was greeted with an ultimatum--Put a ring on my finger, or it is over. I did not want to get engaged, and we split up. I have not spoken to, or seen her since October 01. Since then I have had one serious relationship, and numerous flings. Not one of those girls compared to my ex.

Back to my dream: I keep dreaming I see my ex, and our eyes meet. I walk up to her, we both start crying, and both apologize for leaving each other. We embrace, and live happily ever after.

Then I wake up, and feel empty and alone. I'll then spend the next week or so beating myself up. Eventually it subsides, but I never stop missing her. It does not help that my parents, and friends all tell me how wonderful she was, and how perfect we were for one another. I think about her everyday, and wish I could go back in time to fix this.

Should make some attempt to contact her? I haven't spoken to her in over two years. The only reason I am so hesitant is because it would kill me if she were to say, "Us breaking up was the best thing to ever happen to me."

So, do I forget it, and move on? Or should try to contact her? Any input would be appreciated. And be nice, I am outta weed.

 

[AAP]

Consider her moved on.

I mean, what kind of girl issues ultimatums about relationships? You were not ready to be committed to her, she knew it, she knew you had doubts, so she did what she had to do in order to have a graceful exit. You were not ready to committ, she was not ready to wait. Both of you were not ready for each other.

In a way, I can not say I blame her. My time is valueable. I only have so many days allotted to me on this planet. I am simply NOT going to give away any and spend those days with someone and not have something to show for it. Dating and being fuck buddies is one thing, but it don't cut it in real life.

Sometimes terrific sex can really blind you to what the cold reality is regarding another person. I know it did for me. Your head thinks logically, your heart thinks foolishly. 99% of the time, it is the heart we are all listening to.

Besides, she is still herself and you are still yourself and chances are you would still be having those awful fights again and again in the future. You don't need that kind of shit in your life. If so, then become a boxer and at least get paid for being knocked around.

 

[HumorMe]

You've changed and so has she. Chances are there are probably more changes that have happened that you could not accept.

You had fun and she probably did too. Quit living in the past and move on.