ceasar989 said:
I'm 19, incase you werent joking.
Musclemom - this is case where either I'm absolutely oblivious to everything or I absolutely have no understanding as to why I'm told I'm a problem child. He's definitely the asshole. He's the controlling type who is always in control and is always right. He told me I'm not what he'd hoped for and that he never thought the one thing he'd fail at in life was raising a good son.
I kind of had the feeling that it was the case, and that's why I told you what I did about myself. I want you to understand that what your father said was one ignorant piece of shit and I'd tell him to his face if I could.
I failed at being the good daughter. I was 17 when my father died, I'm nearly 41 and it still gnaws at me, not his death mind you, the fact that he HATED me so in the end (there were other things going on, I understand part of the psychodrama NOW, but then ...), the fact that I was NEVER good enough. Guess what, there's a real part of me that realizes that I NEVER could be GOOD enough, he set me up to be nothing less than a tremendous life failure by damaging me on a lot of levels.
I am a parent, and one thing I've learned, you bring children into this world and they DON'T OWE YOU SHIT. YOU took the responsibility for that life, you BROUGHT that life into this world, the PARENT has the responsibility. You instill values, education, training into those children, but they aren't SUPPOSED to be anything, other than who they're going to be. You can't superimpose your life expectations upon your children, that's stupid. They are not little carbon copies of you, in fact, they might not be a damn bit like you. You're job, as a parent, is to love them, provide for their physical needs, see they obtain a proper education, and give them the life skills to survive in the world.
You have a choice, Ceasar, you live in discord, or you get your head together, make some plans, some decisions, and get out of that situation. My advice would be for the latter because it ain't gonna get better. He's said his piece, the floodgates have only BEGUN to open. Grandparents always love their grandchildren slavishly, you might want to think in that direction. Worst comes to worse, look into getting a place of your own with a couple of friends.
There's always the military. It's not ALL about going to Iraq, you just have to think about what job to go into. My son is in the service and about to be transferred from the states, where he has been for the past two years, to Japan.
I'm only a PM away if you want to talk.