Friends with Benefits

[Freak Nasty]

Anyone ever have one? How does it start? Whats the secret to getting one?

Obvious I am looking for one, but am trying to decide on how to go about it. Do I find someone who is interested in being friends first then maybe after some time put us in a situation to go further.

Is it easier to go for the benefits part first. Maybe after that friendship is like a given.

Not trying to hit any swingers clubs or get 1 night stands. I want a steady thing. Theres more to the story thats not relevant at this point, but thats what I'm looking for, but like I said am confused on the best course of action.

 

[Freak Nasty]

I'm gonna post this in the seduction thread. Its probably a better place to put it.

 

[PBR]

i hit you up over there bro. ^

 

[immortalis]

I'm gonna post this in the seduction thread. Its probably a better place to put it.

Well man, theres just too many variables to really comment on it to be honest. I mean, Do you have a "prospect"? or are you just asking in general. If you do have a prospect then whats the situation like? Give us details so we can make a better assesment on how you should approach the situation.

Given what I just asked, there are so many different ways to go about this but they are all situation-specific. How you met, what the girl is like, how you are around eachother, how open the two of you are as far as talking comfortably about "taboo" subjects etc.

Just too general of a question as it currently is, to really lay some solid advice out there.


If I were interested in something like that, I would find a girl that I hoped I could get into that type of situation, get drunk as hell with them and just see how she acted towards me... see if I felt that vibe. If I did, then I would pursue it that night and see how far it would go. If I didnt feel that connection, I would somehow try to work the subject of sex-life into the conversation. Then see what her response is and go from there. If she implys her's is currently shitty... well you pretty much have your shot right there if you play your cards right. If she says shes not hurtin for it or implys something like that, I'd just let it die and look for another "prospect", heh.

 

[EnderJE]

With me, it fucked me up and I lost a good friend. We said that we wouldn't take it father then a casual fuck, but then my feelings got involved and she wisely broke it off. Years later, she realized that she wanted me too; but by then it was too late and I moved on.

 

[jeepboi]

With me, it fucked me up and I lost a good friend. We said that we wouldn't take it father then a casual fuck, but then my feelings got involved and she wisely broke it off. Years later, she realized that she wanted me too; but by then it was too late and I moved on.

generally thats how it works, but as long as you keep feelings out of it your good. ( but that sound a whole lot easier than it is to do)

I chose not to do that with my very Hot friend and have been happy with the choice for over 10 years, because i know i would have eventually started having feelings for her or vice versa, a good friendship is really close to a relationship already.

So Good Luck!

 

[Freak Nasty]

Well it just so happens she is divorced. She needs help moving and I offered. Ive mentioned it to her before and she was not into it. She said that she was damaged (emotionally I guess) by her ex. I know I am not going to fall for her.

Long story short I am married and my is ok with me having a FWB. Yes I am sure of it. We are having fun in our relationship right now. The friend knows I'm married so its not like I am keeping it from her.

 

[PBR]

your married and in an "open relationship"....you will most likely have to seek out the "swingers" ....same mind-set and lifestyle. you might incounter a women somewhere who will play once or twice, but married people bring a host of potential problems for singles.

 

[Wulfgar]

ummm...use the internet..its a gold mine to find "freinds with Benefits"

 

[BigRupe]

Anyone ever have one? How does it start? Whats the secret to getting one?

Obvious I am looking for one, but am trying to decide on how to go about it. Do I find someone who is interested in being friends first then maybe after some time put us in a situation to go further.

Is it easier to go for the benefits part first. Maybe after that friendship is like a given.

Not trying to hit any swingers clubs or get 1 night stands. I want a steady thing. Theres more to the story thats not relevant at this point, but thats what I'm looking for, but like I said am confused on the best course of action.

Dude it NEVER works out in the end. Eventually they all fall in love or demand more.

 

[SheDragon]

Sounds fair if the other person is looking for the same. Ive heard people say they wish they could just find someone to satisfy their sexual needs without having to commit. Why don't you sign up for one of those matchmaking online sites and specify that you're searching for a sex buddy that you can have fun with on a regular basis. Newspapers have those too. Just a thought.

 

[SheDragon]

generally thats how it works, but as long as you keep feelings out of it your good. ( but that sound a whole lot easier than it is to do)

I chose not to do that with my very Hot friend and have been happy with the choice for over 10 years, because i know i would have eventually started having feelings for her or vice versa, a good friendship is really close to a relationship already.

So Good Luck!

Great reply. Its true, if you are one to easily fall for someone, then you should really think about whether thats a good idea.

 

[Wulfgar]

Sounds fair if the other person is looking for the same. Ive heard people say they wish they could just find someone to satisfy their sexual needs without having to commit. Why don't you sign up for one of those matchmaking online sites and specify that you're searching for a sex buddy that you can have fun with on a regular basis. Newspapers have those too. Just a thought.

she dragon is my FWB

 

[Freak Nasty]

I have a listing on one of those sites. Its just so hard to weed through the spam and fake personals. I go out to clubs sometimes, but thats hit or miss too. My wife tells me to stop actively looking. When you are not looking it will come to you.

 

[SheDragon]

I have a listing on one of those sites. Its just so hard to weed through the spam and fake personals. I go out to clubs sometimes, but thats hit or miss too. My wife tells me to stop actively looking. When you are not looking it will come to you.

wtf??? you are married???? you are soo wrong!! you live up to your name, dont you? LOL

 

[Freak Nasty]

Why am I wrong? Me and my wife agreed to having friends with benefits. I firmly believe whats good for one is good for the other. As a matter of fact she is the one that has a steady FWB. I'm trying to catch up to her.

 

[Tytan]

damage is already done to your home bro.......FWB always fucks someone up, you, her, your wife....someone will develope feelings and boom you guys are fucked.....handle your business

 

[Freak Nasty]

nope. He is both of our friends (he is only her benefits part though). Actually she is not getting any benefits at the time anyway (thats a different story). We are just trying to help him get through a rough time in his life now. No damage. The thing is that we talk about and have rules of engagement about our meetings.
I think if you talk and get all the small things out in the open, then there isn't any resentment. I will never be jealous of him. I am more jealous of her, in that she gets to have fun and im busting my hump trying to meet new people.

I kind of feel bad that our friend is incapacitated at the moment, so if I find someone it will just be me having fun.

Remember now, we are not fucking random people each time. Too much dangerous shit out there even if you are safe all the time.

 

[jdynasty]

u r so lucky!

CC

 

[Freak Nasty]

Only lucky because we get along with each other so well. I just think most guys want it one way without the other. My wife doesn't really want to be with another woman so the MFF threesome is a no-go. So the next best thing is a one on one with someone else.

Many say it will end bad or ruin what you got. Well I will tell you it will not unless both of you are not going in with a mindset that this is just fucking. Its not dating, its not seeing someone on the side. Its just fucking. Maybe hang out to get a drink or play pool or something.
We don't spend money on the other person like someone would do when dating or trying to date. I want to get off or she wants to get off from someone different than we are used to.
Nothing to do with who is better, but different. Sex is sex, love and commitment are just that. Im not leaving and neither is she.

I can tell anyone who is thinking about it to cover ALL the potential circumstances.
Is kissing allowed? What about oral sex? Who provides protection? Im telling you, you got to think about all things and make sure both people understand.
Men and women can say the same thing and interpret it completely different. Its like people say repeat what I say and this is what I mean by it.
That way when someone says "no oral" and someone goes down to get things slippery, the other person (in the relationship) doesn't blow (no pun) their top. We also don't hide things from each other. We don't go into detail about each stroke but we are considerate of each other. IE. "Hey Im gonna be home late, so don't worry. Im hanging out with <insert name here>"

 

[immortalis]

... We also don't hide things from each other. We don't go into detail about each stroke but we are considerate of each other. IE. "Hey Im gonna be home late, so don't worry. Im hanging out with <insert name here>"

You are a much much stronger man that I.

 

[Huckster]

I have a couple of FWB's.In fact,I may be a little old fashioned in that I usually won't sleep with a gal unless I have gotten to know her(and vice-versa)and actually care about her.Most of the gals I spend time with I have become total buds with.Makes it fun,we are real open,lots of laughs and giggles,and we share pretty much everything about each other with no hang-ups or judgements.But I'm somewhat of an eccentric,so what the hell do I know.