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Friend's jealous spouse
- Thread starter big4life
- Start date
British Athlete
New member
Catch him alone, and tell him to get a fucking grip and not be paranoid or suspicious of his wife's friends. He must suffer from low confidence and constantly nag, try to control and piss off his wife aswell frequently.
big4life said:
If you are good friends, I would go out of my way to show respect for their marriage, By showing the husband in some way, That it`s only a friendship.
Re: Re: Friend's jealous spouse
Done that.
I have known her for over eight years, him a little less. We all even went to bike week together. This has just come over him in the last couple years, and it is with every guy friend that she has. I mean he has gone so far as to change their home phone number and told her not to give it to anyone.
gonelifting said:
Done that.
I have known her for over eight years, him a little less. We all even went to bike week together. This has just come over him in the last couple years, and it is with every guy friend that she has. I mean he has gone so far as to change their home phone number and told her not to give it to anyone.
Re: Re: Re: Friend's jealous spouse
OK, then it`s clearly not you. It`s a problem that HE has with his wife. It could be problems in the marriage, They could be drifting apart etc. etc.
big4life said:
OK, then it`s clearly not you. It`s a problem that HE has with his wife. It could be problems in the marriage, They could be drifting apart etc. etc.
strangebrew
New member
just toss in the idea of a threesome, it might bring you closer.
B
Big Jroy
Guest
Has she ever been caught cheating on him?
Don't spend time with them.
I have lost most of male friends to their marriages (which I understand) but I specifically wasn't ALLOWED to go to the wedding of one friend - even though I was invited.
It was the wife's jealousy of her soon to husband's female friends - which she did have reason to be jealous - cause he was a cheating MF. I tried to tell her when we were all in college that he could not keep it harnessed but all she saw was $$$$ - their loss - not mine (anymore).
I have lost most of male friends to their marriages (which I understand) but I specifically wasn't ALLOWED to go to the wedding of one friend - even though I was invited.
It was the wife's jealousy of her soon to husband's female friends - which she did have reason to be jealous - cause he was a cheating MF. I tried to tell her when we were all in college that he could not keep it harnessed but all she saw was $$$$ - their loss - not mine (anymore).
The Ranger
New member
Fuck all this nonesense about trying to be the nice guy and talk to him from the heart, man to man....Here's what ya do:
Turn the tables on him and let him see how he fucking likes it...Talk to the lady involved, let her know that you cherish her as a friend, and in no way have you ever thought of taking the friendship to another level.....Explain to her, that due to her husbands jealous attitude, it will be better if you keep the realtionship strictly professional, and should things change for the better, you guys can hang out once again...
Then sit back and think what her jealous husband will go through once she gets home...
"You run off all our friends"....."I can't go anywhere without you checking up on me"..."Any friends I have, I have null the friendship because of you and your attitude"....."maybe we can change our names AND phone number this time"....Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah.....heh heh heh
When they split up....she's all yours....<evil grin>
Ranger
Turn the tables on him and let him see how he fucking likes it...Talk to the lady involved, let her know that you cherish her as a friend, and in no way have you ever thought of taking the friendship to another level.....Explain to her, that due to her husbands jealous attitude, it will be better if you keep the realtionship strictly professional, and should things change for the better, you guys can hang out once again...
Then sit back and think what her jealous husband will go through once she gets home...
"You run off all our friends"....."I can't go anywhere without you checking up on me"..."Any friends I have, I have null the friendship because of you and your attitude"....."maybe we can change our names AND phone number this time"....Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah.....heh heh heh
When they split up....she's all yours....<evil grin>
Ranger
HumanShell
New member
Just hit on him, make sure he knows you're gay, then he probably wouldn't mind pawning you back off on his wife.
IvanOffelitch
Well-known member
Dude, be very careful around married women, especially those who might be having marital problems. Even if you give the hubby no reason to suspect you, he will.
I've been down this road many times...too many times to be honest. I found the only thing to do was walk away...let them work out their issues. If your friendship with her is genuine, she'll still be around after the dust settles.
I've been down this road many times...too many times to be honest. I found the only thing to do was walk away...let them work out their issues. If your friendship with her is genuine, she'll still be around after the dust settles.
sh4dowf4lcon
New member
Assuming this is not some super control freak of a husband he is doing the right thing. My wife has a job and has friends from work, but they dont talk on the phone and shit. I would not allow some dude to call my wife at home and visit on the phone and go out. I am not a jealous man, but I am realisitic, my wife is attractive and if a guy is calling her at home and stuff he is trying to get toooooo close.
Now, let me qualify this a little bit, first of all I know my wife,and best friend, would never give her phone number out to males from work, especially if they were hitting on her. I know she is trustworthy, and I have no problems with her having friends. She can take care of herself.
There is no reason for someone's wife to need male friends to help her deal with life or to offer advice on their personal problems. I am old school on these types of issues, and see no reason for wife to talk on the phone with males or go out to visit with each other.
Furthermore, if this friend of yours is attractive & you are calling her it seems you want to get closer to his wife - and I would not allow this. Homey can call his mama or his buddies from school or something-not my wife!
I know some won't agree, but I just do not see any need to go home and call the girls I work with and I wouldn't allow my wife's friends from work to call her @ home. Fortunately, I don't have to worry about this type of stuff, but I still don't see the point of wanting to make some guy's wife my phone buddy.
I mean what is the point? Do you just need a friend? Ifthe answer is yes and you need a friend try finding a single lady to talk to on the phone, if you are just friends why would you want to create problems in her marriage?
Now, let me qualify this a little bit, first of all I know my wife,and best friend, would never give her phone number out to males from work, especially if they were hitting on her. I know she is trustworthy, and I have no problems with her having friends. She can take care of herself.
There is no reason for someone's wife to need male friends to help her deal with life or to offer advice on their personal problems. I am old school on these types of issues, and see no reason for wife to talk on the phone with males or go out to visit with each other.
Furthermore, if this friend of yours is attractive & you are calling her it seems you want to get closer to his wife - and I would not allow this. Homey can call his mama or his buddies from school or something-not my wife!
I know some won't agree, but I just do not see any need to go home and call the girls I work with and I wouldn't allow my wife's friends from work to call her @ home. Fortunately, I don't have to worry about this type of stuff, but I still don't see the point of wanting to make some guy's wife my phone buddy.
I mean what is the point? Do you just need a friend? Ifthe answer is yes and you need a friend try finding a single lady to talk to on the phone, if you are just friends why would you want to create problems in her marriage?
sh4dowf4lcon
New member
IrishMobBoss said:
Now see, this sounds like a one way street...I agree that is loony. I guess for me things like this are magnified when they involve a wife vs a gfriend. It still doesn't sound right.
theoak01
New member
she is slowly turning into her mother,and I stand up to her and tell her she best smarten up,but it falls on deaf ears. there is alot of good but this drives me nuts,I havent saw her much as I planned my vacation so that I would get back ,see her for one day and then she went on hers,and now today she had to goto this so the break is good. but I still dont trust her the way she acts
Shak
New member
sorry to hear that HIS problem is affecting your friendship with this woman.
your best bet is to leave the situation alone - it sucks to lose a friend, but until this marriage is dissolved or this guy gets a clue, that's what needs to happen.
just use their marriage as an example of the type of relationship you NEVER WANT TO HAVE.
your best bet is to leave the situation alone - it sucks to lose a friend, but until this marriage is dissolved or this guy gets a clue, that's what needs to happen.
just use their marriage as an example of the type of relationship you NEVER WANT TO HAVE.
I am sort of with sh4dow f4alcon on this- if you a guy, by all means you can find someone else to hang out with besides some dude's wife... besides, there are way too many losers out there that are still chasing "the HS girl that broke their heart" or some crap and hope something will happen to you so he can get her back (this is also the loser that said "you better not hurt her" or some crap when you started dating her...) Lets face it- 99% of the guys on this board would be able to confess that the only reason we would hang with a chick is in hope of getting in her pants, or else we would hang with someone else... (who we would want to get in HER pants)
If the street goes both ways that is one thing, but if not, leave it alone, ESPECIALLY if you are some dude outside the relationship.... (messing with some dude's girl is a good way to get jacked up where I am from)
IMO, I agree, this is something to make sure is explored well before getting married...
One last thought- maybe she does not hang out with you and uses the husband not letting her to hang out as an excuse to tell you to shove off..
If the street goes both ways that is one thing, but if not, leave it alone, ESPECIALLY if you are some dude outside the relationship.... (messing with some dude's girl is a good way to get jacked up where I am from)
IMO, I agree, this is something to make sure is explored well before getting married...
One last thought- maybe she does not hang out with you and uses the husband not letting her to hang out as an excuse to tell you to shove off..
sh4dowf4lcon
New member
IrishMobBoss said:
Bro, sorry to hear that the trust isn't there. The Trust is the most important thing, and if it isn't there, then she probably isn't the one. I know you don't want to hear that, but it is true.
As for the original post about opposite sex friends, there is nothing wrong with having friends of the opposite sex, but if her husband doesn't like you calling their home, that is understandable. Even in a trusting relationship there are boundaries which must be respected. Each couple has their own set of boundaries as does each person in any healthy relationship. The deal is people need to figure out what the boundaries are before they commit to the rest of their life to that person.
Becoming said:
First off, she's married, and I don't care if 99.999% of the guys would hang out with her just to get in her pants, that is just not me. Plus I work with her. I make it a point not to date women I work with. It gets too messy.
Second, she is the one who approached me as to why I had distanced myself from her. So I am pretty sure that it is not an excuse that she is using to get rid of me.
As for his jealousy, it is directed at all males, not just me. Personally I think that he is insecure about the age difference between him and her. He is 15 years older than her. Whatever his reasons, he has to deal with his own issues on this.
The Ranger
New member
Always remember Big4life, my Dad gave me this advice, saved me many times so far..."Never get your money and honey from the same place."
Ranger
Good Luck my man.....
Ranger
Good Luck my man.....
big4life said:
Big- Gotcha on the two previous points- I get what you are saying, and considering he is 15 years older than her, yeah, maybe now things make sense... Even so, you are not going to help yourself any by getting involved in this... She should have found out that was going to be how it worked before she married him.... I would just let them work it out on their own, unless you move or something, she will know how to find you when she needs to...
sh4dowf4lcon
New member
If you really care about her and her happiness, I would think you hope for her and her husband to get along.
She is married, and unless the guy is abusing her or something then you should want them to be happy together. Maybe he has a reason to be jealous if you are so upset about him not wanting you to call her at home.
IMO you should not feel offended because he doesn't want guys calling his wife @ home and stuff. It is understandable for a husband to expect his wife to focus her attention to their home and family not guys @ work.
I never said anything about getting in her pants. That is not the impression I got from your description, however as a married man I can see why it would be a problem if the wife was on the phone with guys from work @ night.
"Friend" in the true sense of the word would be someone who would encourage her to devote her time to her husband and family in her best interest. Surely, you do not feel disturbing their relationship is the best thing for her - as a "Friend".
