ex girlfriends and holidays at home...

[napolean22]

so I've got this ex girlfriend from highschool. we dated my last two years in highschool, and my first year in college. she was my first love. we broke up when she went to college (less than an hour from my college) but keep in touch over the phone and the occasional dinner date.

holidays are where things get frustrating and confusing for me. she's really the only person I keep in touch with from back home, so we hang out when we go home for the holidays. while we are home, things start off as friends and rapidly progress to "more than friends". Its become pretty standard, and the feelings get intense. she says she still loves me and I still love her. then the holiday ends and its time to go back to school...back to our separate lives. I'm usually sad, but she usually isn't. I spend the rest of the year trying to forget about her every way I can which usually includes dating other girls (that rarely take my mind off of her for long). In fact, this past summer, I actually managed to convince myself that I was no longer in love with her. Or more like my love for her had changed to a diffrent kind of love. I managed to come up with a million reasons why I would never want to date her again.

this winter break, we hung out (standard). Things got good, and after a few days, I began questioning whether or not I really fallen out of love w/ her. By the end of the break, all those loving feelings had come back in full force.

here are some things I am having trouble understanding...
- if we both love each other, then why aren't we together?
- is she confused about what love is...or just incapable of it?
- am I feeling this way cause its the holidays and everyone wants to be loved and comforted during these cold days?


i know things will be better when I get back to school tomorrow and rejoin my circle of friends and fuck buddies. But what i really want is some closure with this exgirlfriend. I'm tired of this vicious cycle of love-hate.

would it be best to not talk to her any more? btw, I tried this last spring and it worked out well for me, but destroyed her.
is it possible to be friends with her?

to sum it up in one line...
I feel like I love her more than she loves me.

sorry for the vent...

 

[hamstershaver]

ex sex is good

 

[Gambino]

it sounds like this gal likes the attention and comfort for a few days, then it gets old for her. in other words, she uses you to feel good for a few days then she moves on

 

[Sassy69]

Its really hard to make life decisions like that when you are in school. If its meant to be, it will be.

 

[SoKlueles]

ex sex is good

no way

well depends on the ex

 

[hamstershaver]

sassy

 

[marshallmadman]

I feel your pain, brother. I feel like that in the relationship I'm in right now. I just really feel like I'm bringin' all the love, and she's just like.....whatever. It is a terrible, terrible place to be. I'm just a sucker with no self-esteem. Go listen to that song, and tell me if any of those scenarios fit your situation. Offspring-Self Esteem. Hits the nail on the head.

 

[napolean22]

Yeah i hear ya.

another explanation of the situation just popped in my head.

right now, she's an obstacle on my quest for love and happiness...not the prize at the end of the road.

 

[marshallmadman]

Yeah i hear ya.

another explanation of the situation just popped in my head.

right now, she's an obstacle on my quest for love and happiness...not the prize at the end of the road.

That could be very true. Sometimes it's very difficult to get the truth through ones thick skull, though. I am great about giving advice, but I sure can't execute in my own life.

 

[EnderJE]

The group is called the SWV. Ask Lestat or Oak and they'll fill you in.