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Ex gf comes over..

KillzwithPillz

KillzwithPillz

New member
Teresa and I have been dating off and on for last 10 yrs, except for last two in where we both went our own ways, my way didn’t work out, but hers has she’s engaged to get married in November, 3 months ago I sent her email saying hi we talked few times on phone and emailed each other, just how you been kind of stuff ect.. Well she sent email month ago saying she needed to come over and talk to me,
so Thursday she comes over ,small talk, few drinks (no sex), and then we both kind of just open up, she says she loves her boi and all but that she still loves me and that she will never stop loving me, it was an emotiotional night knowing that this would be the last time I could talk to her like this , we cried ,laughed and just got allot out in the open, it was a bitter sweet night, I have an burning regret as if I took the wrong turn in my life, I was her every thing, and what I realize now that she was everything I want in a woman, I guess I figured out allot in my last relationship and what’s really important to me, only to find out that while I was doing so “the one got away”, But I’m happy for her, most of my friends say that it wont work out for her that if she loved her fiancée she wouldn’t give me a second thought, and that she is settling. She told me that she would be thinking of me on her big day, I told her I will be getting drunk. I think only time will tell, I hope to always have her as a friend.
I’ve had real hard few past months, and this seems to just fuel the burning in my head, I think I deserve what Im getting not that I’ve ever been a bad to any person but a shallow person. I've always had this unfocused picture of the person I would marry she was beautiful, funny, nice, Honest, with good morals all other girls were just for fun, if they didn’t have all those things they didn’t have any.
I think im just going to say goodbye to that woman not that I will settle, but will be looking at things differently from here on...
 
10 years is a long time. Why didn't it work out? Personally I think I'd give it another shot.
 
solikewheresthepics.jpg
 
Maing, I feel ya bor. I say make the move on her, tell her that the last night you spent together was awesome and you won't let her marry that dude.
Show up to the wedding on a horse.(like that dude ED) :Chef: :tuc:
 
When I look back at reasons why, lack of effort in my part, work, and school but mostly timing and other relationships. There was always that chemistry. She’s got to make that call I never will come between her and him I feel like I owe her that chance at happiness.
She does seem a lot different though. She ran into someone that I work with and they told her that I was getting married and was having a child, well we talked of marriage and my gf did get pregnant but had a miscarriage (killed me), work rumors... Teresa said that’s when she gave up on us. So I’m thinking she will get married. She’s got allot of plans and seem like they have to run its coarse
 
thanks for replies, worse thing ever is regret, Its like a burn it keeps hurting and hurting because it was a choice that you made that caused the regret. and I hate feeling like I fucked up.
 
bro...you, more then anyone, needs to listen...

Listen boy I don't want to see you
Let a good thing slip away
You know I don't like watching anybody
Make the same mistakes I made
She's a real nice girl and she's always there for you
But a nice girl wouldn't tell you what you should do

Listen boy I'm sure that you think
You got it all under control
You don't want somebody telling you
The way to stay in someone's soul
You're a big boy now and you'll never let her go
But that's just the kind of thing she ought to know

Tell her about it, tell her everything you feel
Give her every reason to accept that you're for real
Tell her about it, tell her all your crazy dreams
Let her know you need her, let her know how much she means

Listen boy, it's not automatically a certain guarantee
To insure yourself, you've got to provide
Communication constantly
When you love someone, you're always insecure
And there's only one good way to reassure

Tell her about it, let her know how much you care
When she can't be with you, tell her you wish you were there
Tell her about it, everyday before you leave
Pay her some attention, give her something to believe

Cause now and then, she'll get to worrying
Just because you haven't spoken for so long
Though you may not have done anything
Will that be a consolation when she's gone

Listen boy, it's good information
From a man who's made mistakes
Just a word or two that she gets from you
Could be the difference that it makes
She's a trusting soul, she's put her trust in you
But a girl like that won't tell you what you should do

Tell her about it, tell her everything you feel
Give her every reason to accept that you're for real
Tell her about it, tell her all your crazy dreams
Let her know you need her, let her know how much she means

Tell her about it
Tell her how you feel right now
Tell her about it
The girl don't want to wait too long
You got to tell her about it
Tell her now and you won't go wrong
You got to tell her about it
Before it gets too late
You got to tell her about it
You know the girl don't want to wait
You got to tell her about it
 
EnderJE said:
bro...you, more then anyone, needs to listen...

Listen boy I don't want to see you
Let a good thing slip away
You know I don't like watching anybody
Make the same mistakes I made
She's a real nice girl and she's always there for you
But a nice girl wouldn't tell you what you should do

Listen boy I'm sure that you think
You got it all under control
You don't want somebody telling you
The way to stay in someone's soul
You're a big boy now and you'll never let her go
But that's just the kind of thing she ought to know

Tell her about it, tell her everything you feel
Give her every reason to accept that you're for real
Tell her about it, tell her all your crazy dreams
Let her know you need her, let her know how much she means

Listen boy, it's not automatically a certain guarantee
To insure yourself, you've got to provide
Communication constantly
When you love someone, you're always insecure
And there's only one good way to reassure

Tell her about it, let her know how much you care
When she can't be with you, tell her you wish you were there
Tell her about it, everyday before you leave
Pay her some attention, give her something to believe

Cause now and then, she'll get to worrying
Just because you haven't spoken for so long
Though you may not have done anything
Will that be a consolation when she's gone

Listen boy, it's good information
From a man who's made mistakes
Just a word or two that she gets from you
Could be the difference that it makes
She's a trusting soul, she's put her trust in you
But a girl like that won't tell you what you should do

Tell her about it, tell her everything you feel
Give her every reason to accept that you're for real
Tell her about it, tell her all your crazy dreams
Let her know you need her, let her know how much she means

Tell her about it
Tell her how you feel right now
Tell her about it
The girl don't want to wait too long
You got to tell her about it
Tell her now and you won't go wrong
You got to tell her about it
Before it gets too late
You got to tell her about it
You know the girl don't want to wait
You got to tell her about it
Click to expand...


Cool....Billy Joel
 
killz said:
When I look back at reasons why, lack of effort in my part, work, and school but mostly timing and other relationships. There was always that chemistry. She’s got to make that call I never will come between her and him I feel like I owe her that chance at happiness.
She does seem a lot different though. She ran into someone that I work with and they told her that I was getting married and was having a child, well we talked of marriage and my gf did get pregnant but had a miscarriage (killed me), work rumors... Teresa said that’s when she gave up on us. So I’m thinking she will get married. She’s got allot of plans and seem like they have to run its coarse
Click to expand...
Sounds like it's easier for you to give up then to actually make the efforts you should to really show her how you feel. I'm not being ugly by any means but if you say she's your everything...wouldn't you fight for it? If you know you can offer her everything in the world she desires and needs to complete her? If in the past you lacked in efforts and time and whatever else you said....why not make it up to her now?? Kind of sounds like her trip to your place was a cry out to you. Why else would she tell you she's marrying another man but that she still loves you and always will?? To give you a woman's perspective on your situation....10 years is a long time....i went through this for 5...after you go so long seeing no efforts from the person you love, you have to force yourself to move on. Validate what feelings you have for her and at least make an effort before you are stuck regreting "the one that got away". I can't imagine anything more miserable in life than knowing you're madly in love with someone heart, mind, everything...and being forced (be it circumstance, etc) to devulge into another relationship. You're always going to want that other person. Always going to wonder what they are doing, why? how could you have made things different. Sounds like now's a better time than any to put forth your best foot. 10 years is a looonnngg damn time to be in love with someone and not have a 5 year plan or something in the works. If it's about pride (as it often times is with men) pride means jack with matters of the heart. Just my $.02. ;)

Go get your woman! (dang, that sounded like a really bad romance ending)
 
habitualhealth said:
Sounds like it's easier for you to give up then to actually make the efforts you should to really show her how you feel. I'm not being ugly by any means but if you say she's your everything...wouldn't you fight for it? If you know you can offer her everything in the world she desires and needs to complete her? If in the past you lacked in efforts and time and whatever else you said....why not make it up to her now?? Kind of sounds like her trip to your place was a cry out to you. Why else would she tell you she's marrying another man but that she still loves you and always will?? To give you a woman's perspective on your situation....10 years is a long time....i went through this for 5...after you go so long seeing no efforts from the person you love, you have to force yourself to move on. Validate what feelings you have for her and at least make an effort before you are stuck regreting "the one that got away". I can't imagine anything more miserable in life than knowing you're madly in love with someone heart, mind, everything...and being forced (be it circumstance, etc) to devulge into another relationship. You're always going to want that other person. Always going to wonder what they are doing, why? how could you have made things different. Sounds like now's a better time than any to put forth your best foot. 10 years is a looonnngg damn time to be in love with someone and not have a 5 year plan or something in the works. If it's about pride (as it often times is with men) pride means jack with matters of the heart. Just my $.02. ;)

Go get your woman! (dang, that sounded like a really bad romance ending)
Click to expand...






I agree 100% Its better to go down trying than to live a lifetime full of regret.

RADAR
 
habitualhealth said:
Killz, you better take what I said to the bank. This is the first time in EF history that Radar agrees with me. That means I actually said something worth reading. ;) What a break thru.

(j/k, hi radar :wavey: )

Love so you have no regrets. :heart:
Click to expand...




Listen to this gal!.............. (and me!)

:wavey: Hi Doll!
RADAR
 
I had to let my first love go because I knew I couldn't give her everything she wanted.
My second asked me to marry her. I said yes. We had a huge fight. Stopped talking. Its weird... its not like we broke up... we just don't talk. It feels so weird to be moving on. For all I know she thinks we are engaged still.
My life is so fucked up. I think God is playing games with me for all the immoral things I have done in my life!
 
Damn thats a tough situation. If she still feels that way about you then she shouldn't be marrying this other guy. But if you guys have been off and on again for 10 years what makes you think it will be any different this time around?
 
slat1 said:
I had to let my first love go because I knew I couldn't give her everything she wanted.
My second asked me to marry her. I said yes. We had a huge fight. Stopped talking. Its weird... its not like we broke up... we just don't talk. It feels so weird to be moving on. For all I know she thinks we are engaged still.
My life is so fucked up. I think God is playing games with me for all the immoral things I have done in my life!
Click to expand...
lol...I hate one of those gfs...

We didn't breakup per see. We just stopped talking. Then I see her six years later (when I'm married) and she freaks out on me.
 
I think you need to have one more sit down with her. Let her know your mind. Then, if it's inconclusive, let it go. It has to be her decision, since it's the other fella's life she'll be ruining. But you both have to be true to your heart.
Moving on isn't just a flip of a switch, it's a process. Maybe she's just completing the process. You gotta make sure.
(Personally I hope you get the girl. I'm a sucker for a happy ending.)
 
Last edited:
hidngod said:
I think you need to have one more sit down with her. Let her know your mind. Then, if it's inconclusive, let it go. It has to be decision, since it's the other fella's life she'll be ruining. But you both have to be true to your heart.
Moving on isn't just a flip of a switch, it's a process. Maybe she's just completing the process. You gotta make sure.
(Personally I hope you get the girl. I'm a sucker for a happy ending.)
Click to expand...


Thanks all, it makes sense to see her again and I think that it will happen. allot of good advice here and it backs up what my friends say that we belong together, she says she cant confined in her friends she is fearful of what they will think of her, and hearing it from me just isn’t going to be enough I think she needs support from her friends as well.
 
Same situation I'm in bro. Long story short, we had been talking for about a year and a half and then I decied to move in with her (moving from a small town in Louisiana to Las Vegas). Things got kind of sticky with me being so young and having insecure thoughts a lot of the time. She's a beautiful woman, has a lot going for her, and works at a huge hotel in Vegas(which means men hitting on her all the time). So we went our separate ways and now I'm back home in LA, and I'm regretting it all(leaving and being insecure like I was). I'm still fighting for her but it's killing me inside every day when I wake up, throughout the day and when I go to bed. I have not spoken with her in a week or two and even though it's only been that long it's eating me alive inside. Anyway bro, I'd say fight for her because there is that one person that God put on this Earth for you and from what I read she still wants something to do with you. Good luck man, and keep us updated.
 
I'd say getting the opportunity to air your feelings to her after so much time was a gift, regardless of whats happens. I say you tell her you would like to give it another shot, if you think SHE is the one. Let her decide to break her relationship, you don't need that coming back in your face every time you get in a fight. Or move on. You got to say what you needed, she listened (the gift), and you are prime to move on. I had a similar situation years ago. The girl I was with and I seperated as friends, but she started dating this total loser. I was devastated. I felt that things must have been so bad with me that this douche was a step up. I was a wrech for almost 2 years. Then out of the blue she calls me. We talk a few times, and I get to tell her how everything effected me. She listened (the gift ). What a weight lifted from my heart. She admitted that she was wrong and that guy was a loser. I decided NOT to go back. I had the closure I needed. I was born again. Within weeks I had gotten closer to the woman I eventually married. Emotionally I was healed and whole. If I had not received the gift, I'm certian the relationship would have failed.
Whatever you decide, good luck.
 
It doesnt sound like she is really happy with her situation and decided to elt you know about it. She seems conflicted about marrying the other guy, otherwise she wouldnt feel the need to have a talk with you and tell you she will be thinking of you on her wedding day??? If you were her fiance how would you feel if she was thinking of her ex on you and hers wedding day? lol
 
Marry her today. Do it.

If you truly love her like you say you do, then you'd climb medium mountains to get to her. She's right in front of you! Do it. No regrets.

Ask her, if she says not, then you could sleep at night knowing you tried, then go on with your life.

Did I mention "do it"? Do it.

di
 
If you were her fiance how would you feel if she was thinking of her ex on you and hers wedding day?
Click to expand...

thats what I thought, I dont think i could be in a realationship while still loving another let alone marry while doing so..uggg
 
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