Everyone Must Read!!!!!!!!!!asap

[ivanushka]

just trying to get some laughs out of you people..





What Not To Say To A Cop
>
>
> 1. I can't reach my license unless you hold my beer. (OK
>in Texas)
>
> 2. Sorry, Officer, I didn't realize my radar detector wasn't plugged in.
>
> 3.Aren't you the guy from the Village People?
>
> 4. Hey, you must've been doin' about 125 mph to keep up with me. Good
>job!
>
>
> 5. Are You Andy or Barney?
>
> 6. I thought you had to be in relatively good physical condition to be a
>police officer.
>
> 7. You're not gonna check the trunk, are you?
>
> 8. I pay your salary!
>
> 9. Gee, Officer! That's terrific. The last officer only gave me a
>warning, too!
>
>
> 10. Do you know why you pulled me over? Okay, just so one of us does.
>
>
> 11. I was trying to keep up with traffic. Yes, I know there are no other
>cars around. That's how far ahead of me they are.
>
> 12. When the Officer says "Gee Son....Your eyes look red, have you been
>drinking?" You probably shouldn't respond with,"Gee Officer your eyes look
>glazed, have you been eating doughnuts?"

 

[Greek Freak]

wrong board

 

[ivanushka]

no shit ....wrong board

i'm just trying ease up everyones nerves plus it's some funny shit..

 

[orca]

Hey bro I laughed, but it is the wrong board, LOL.


Its all good
OrCa

 

[Nutrient-Nut]

Got Damn Clown!

 

[SeekerOfKnowledge]

Someone said to a cop

This is a little better

While I was flying down the road yesterday (only 10 mph over the speed limit) I noticed a cop with a radar gun sitting on top of a bridge. The cop pulled me over, walked up to the car and asked me, "What's the hurry?"

I replied, "I'm late for work."

"Oh yeah," said the cop, "what do you do?"

I responded, "I'm a rectum stretcher."

The cop said "What's.....a rectum stretcher, and what does a rectum stretcher do?"

I said, "Well, I start with one finger, then I work my way up to two fingers, then three, then four, then my whole hand, then I work until I can get both hands in there and then I slowly stretch it until it's about 6 foot wide."

The cop asked me, "What the hell do you do with a 6 foot asshole?"

I simply replied, "You give him a radar gun and park him on top of a bridge..."

The ticket - - $ 95.00
The look on his face - - PRICELESS

 

[Festo]

hahah thanks Ivanushka for the laugh! Very funny! And to all the bro who respond wrong board: cool down! It is sad if you cant get a good laugh anymore...

 

[Livewire]

Well done!!

That's what we need, comedians on steroids.
that's a crowd pleaser

 

[ivanushka]

SeekerOfKnowledge

fuck that shit was funny thanks man anyone got anymore jokes, c'mon guys i'm at work.......lol

 

[Zerxes]

13. "That badge looks stupid"!