Please Scroll Down to See Forums Below
napsgear
genezapharmateuticals
domestic-supply
puritysourcelabs
UGL OZ
UGFREAK
napsgeargenezapharmateuticals domestic-supplypuritysourcelabsUGL OZUGFREAK

Dumb stuff on Hospital Charts

Phemomena

New member
Some dumb stuff writen by some supposedly educated people (ie doctors)


1. She has no rigors or shaking chills, but her husband states she was very
hot in bed last night.

2. Patient has chest pain if she lies on her left side for over a year.

3. On the second day the knee was better,and on the third day it
disappeared.

4. The patient is tearful and crying constantly.She also appears to be
depressed.

5. The patient has been depressed since she began seeing me in 1993.

6. Discharge status: Alive but without my permission.

7. Healthy appearing decrepit 69 year old male, mentally alert but
forgetful.

8. The patient refused autopsy.

9. The patient has no previous history of suicides.

10. Patient has left white blood cells at another hospital.

11. Patient's medical history has been remarkably insignificant with only a
40 pound weight gain in the past three days.

12. Patient had waffles for breakfast and anorexia for lunch.

13. She is numb from her toes down.

14. While in ER, she was examined, x-rated and sent home.

15. The skin was moist and dry.

16. Occasional, constant infrequent headaches.

17. Patient was alert and unresponsive.

18. Rectal examination revealed a normal size thyroid.

19. She stated that she had been constipated for most of her life, until
she got a divorce.

20. I saw your patient today, who is still under our car for physical
therapy.

21. Both breasts are equal and reactive to light and accommodation.

22. Examination of genitalia reveals that he is circus sized.

23. The lab test indicated abnormal lover function.

24. The patient was to have a bowel resection. However, he took a job as a
stock broker instead.

25. Skin: somewhat pale but present.

26. The pelvic exam will be done later on the floor.

27. Patient was seen in consultation by Dr. Blank, who felt we should sit
on the abdomen and I agree.

28. Large brown stool ambulating in the hall.

29. Patient has two teenage children, but no other abnormalities.
 
Doctor joke I recently read:

A woman explained her delicate problem to the doctor: She stated that she was always breaking wind everywhere and seemed unable to control it.

”It's so embarrassing, but at least I am fortunate in two respects,” she told the doctor, “they are always silent and odorless! In fact, since I have been talking to you, it has happened twice.” The doctor prescribed her some medicine and told her to come back in a few days.

A few days later, the woman went back to the doctor and complained: “That medicine has not helped in my problem, in fact, now they stink, and are they loud!”

”Oh yes, that's good,” said the doctor. “Now that we've fixed your nose and hearing, we can work on the farting problem.”
 
course its mainly due to them being overworked, over stressed and underpaid, and therefore having to scribble down as qucik as possible their notes.....oh wait a minute, u havent been here, so u dont know what the NHS is :(

lucky buggers :rolleyes:
 
Some dumb stuff writen by some supposedly educated people (ie doctors)

LOL . . . :FRlol:

Now you know where most of the missing drugs from the hospital pharmacy have gone.
 
Top Bottom