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Dogs Aren't Stupid

Dial_tone

Dial_tone

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I got my dog Elliot (I'm considering renaming him Poyeboy) from the shelter. He was found running along the freeway in Los Angeles. He's a Lasa Apso or whatever the f*ck you call him.
I live in an apt so I have him trained to go out on the balcony and pee on some paper. Everytime he hits the paper he gets a treat. When now this lil fucker has gotten wise to my ways. He's figured out that he gets more bones if he does alot of short pees rather than one big one. That fucker will go out and pee like 3 drops every 30 minutes til bedtime.
Anybody else got any pet stories?
 
my cat likes to sleep in boxes and lick plastic things, and bites me when he wants me to wake up.

he also goes nuts everytime I get out the can opener because he thinks I'm gonna crack open a can of tuna. and also goes nuts when I am pouring cereal, because he knows he gets to lick the bowl after I am done.
 
Dial_tone said:
I got my dog Elliot (I'm considering renaming him Poyeboy) from the shelter. He was found running along the freeway in Los Angeles. He's a Lasa Apso or whatever the f*ck you call him.
I live in an apt so I have him trained to go out on the balcony and pee on some paper. Everytime he hits the paper he gets a treat. When now this lil fucker has gotten wise to my ways. He's figured out that he gets more bones if he does alot of short pees rather than one big one. That fucker will go out and pee like 3 drops every 30 minutes til bedtime.
Anybody else got any pet stories?
Click to expand...

It's like Pavlov's experiments.
 
I got a rabbit cos my gf really wanted one... they are so stupid... dumb fucker has already bitten through my speaker cable.... so he can no longer go in the front room...

I prefer cats but my gf is scared of them.. but I'll win her round to the idea..
 
my dog does the same exact thing, i let her out and she gets a treat, damn dog wants to go out every 5 minutes and she stays out long enough to get one breath of air and she runs right back in
 
When I was in high school and lived with my dad, the dog would get pissed off if you were in the house and no giving him attention.
I would be sitting reading a book and a tennis ball would land in my lap. I'd put the book down and there was the dog, sitting right there, but not making eye contact with me, looking all around like "hmm, wonder where that ball came from?"

I would then say "Fluffy, where's your frisbee?"
He would tilt his head, deep in dog-thought and then run off into another room and bring back a shoe. He would have this look in his eye like he knew it was wrong, but I might not noticed.
I'd say, "no, you know that is a shoe - where is the frisbee?"
He'd look all around as if he was like "yeah, where the fuck is that frisbee?"

Then I'd say "is it in the kitchen?" and then he'd get this look that is pretty much the equivalent to when we smack our foreheads like "DUH!" and then he'd sprint in there and get it and then trot back to me all excited like "dude, you were right!"

Then I'd tell him to "go find Afghanistan" and that would keep him busy for an hour or so as he would bring me things like "is *this* afghanistan?"

If I threw him the ball he would catch it and then want me to chase him around. If I ignored him and went back to reading then he would throw the ball at me again.
I honestly have no idea how he threw it since I never saw it happen - I just know that it would land in my lap and it was him that threw it.

He also used to steal the wallets of any guests at the house.
Our bird would steal jewlery like earrings and necklaces - and then throw it to the ground and watch it all the way down.
 
I have a dog and a cat,

my dog is smart/really dumb, he drools alot, one time he had a leaf on a drool string that was about 4 inches long, that was hildinglarious

my cat is lil kiki, she a good girl, she smart and likes to eat/chase bugs, she also always trys to eat my ice cream, lil bitch, and she tips over glasses of water on porpose

thanks for not naming him poyeboy
 
OMGWTFBBQ said:
When I was in high school and lived with my dad, the dog would get pissed off if you were in the house and no giving him attention.
I would be sitting reading a book and a tennis ball would land in my lap. I'd put the book down and there was the dog, sitting right there, but not making eye contact with me, looking all around like "hmm, wonder where that ball came from?"

I would then say "Fluffy, where's your frisbee?"
He would tilt his head, deep in dog-thought and then run off into another room and bring back a shoe. He would have this look in his eye like he knew it was wrong, but I might not noticed.
I'd say, "no, you know that is a shoe - where is the frisbee?"
He'd look all around as if he was like "yeah, where the fuck is that frisbee?"

Then I'd say "is it in the kitchen?" and then he'd get this look that is pretty much the equivalent to when we smack our foreheads like "DUH!" and then he'd sprint in there and get it and then trot back to me all excited like "dude, you were right!"

Then I'd tell him to "go find Afghanistan" and that would keep him busy for an hour or so as he would bring me things like "is *this* afghanistan?"

If I threw him the ball he would catch it and then want me to chase him around. If I ignored him and went back to reading then he would throw the ball at me again.
I honestly have no idea how he threw it since I never saw it happen - I just know that it would land in my lap and it was him that threw it.

He also used to steal the wallets of any guests at the house.
Our bird would steal jewlery like earrings and necklaces - and then throw it to the ground and watch it all the way down.
Click to expand...

hahaha, that is awesome.
 
BBQ: :lmao:

My parents cat will stalk you like a crack addict if it sees you have mail in your hand. As soon as you open an envelope and put it aside, she POUNCES and starts licking the glue off. She once bit me, because I tried to snatch it back. Damn cat.
 
My cat will follow me into the kitchen. I'll stand there, bent over a bit, and stare at her all wide-eyed. She'll do the same back to me, and I'll take a step towards her, and she will turn around and run into the living room. Sometimes we'll go back and forth running and stuff. It's fun.

Then I'll be sitting on the couch or something, and she will be behind it, and I'll poke my head over and stare at her, and she will attempt to jump and hit me in the face. She is often successful, and I've walked away bleeding. Hahaha. My cat rocks.
 
...

My girlfriend gets mad EVERY time I mention my ex-girlfriend... I didnt even have to train her to do it.

is that kind of the same thing?
 
my dog is smart Siberian Husky mixed with a Black hair German Shepherd...he has one hell of a paint job!!

I sent his ass to training school (man's best friend) and he is a really smart dog...
 
jerkbox said:
my cat likes to sleep in boxes and lick plastic things, and bites me when he wants me to wake up.

he also goes nuts everytime I get out the can opener because he thinks I'm gonna crack open a can of tuna. and also goes nuts when I am pouring cereal, because he knows he gets to lick the bowl after I am done.
Click to expand...

I've had bowl of cereal hijacked by my cat.
 
jerkbox said:
my cat likes to sleep in boxes and lick plastic things, and bites me when he wants me to wake up.

he also goes nuts everytime I get out the can opener because he thinks I'm gonna crack open a can of tuna. and also goes nuts when I am pouring cereal, because he knows he gets to lick the bowl after I am done.
Click to expand...

Cats get a lot of protein nowadays...:D :D
 
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