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Does it take more than love...

Smurfy

Smurfy

Banned
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What are you views on this...

Does it take more than LOVE alone to make a relationship work? Have you ever been in a relationship where you LOVED the person, but the relationship just COULD NOT go on? If so, what were the circumstances.
I'm curious
 
Good sex and love help, but are not enough in my experience. I dated a girl for three years , I loved her and we had great sex (which is why it lasted three years) but nothing else in common. Did not work to well
 
overhead said:
Good sex and love help, but are not enough in my experience. I dated a girl for three years , I loved her and we had great sex (which is why it lasted three years) but nothing else in common. Did not work to well
Click to expand...

exactly!!! this is what i am getting at. im in the same situation. i recently broke it off with my boyfriend of almost 2 years. great sex. lots of it too. also, very deep feelings of love for him. but..it just wont work out. how about>> life circumstances? personality conflicts? age differences?
 
usually if it is really love then you can find a way to work out differences and issues without disrespecting each other.

you have to have respect & trust with the love to make it work. If you love each other but you cant trust each other because you sleep around or whatever, then it is doomed even though you feel love for the other person.

You need love first and then some other things to keep it healthy: trust, respect, honor, character, and commitment

MHO
 
Being content and happy you are with the person makes it a success.

Selfishness makes it crumble.
 
Actually, the all-time love of my life...we actually had next to nothing in common. Loved each other DEARLY, but it never would have worked. Sex wasn't even that great but that had nothing to do with the ending.
 
Smurfy said:
sh4dow - of course what u say makes sense. but i wouldnt be in love with someone unless i trusted them first
Click to expand...

well sweetheart Duchess darling,

to assume if you feel love you have trust is not a safe assumption. People say I love him but he keeps cheating on me...boo hoo...there is no trust and though she feels "love" they will probably fail. Not everyone who is in love with another person feels safe and secure and has trust in the relationship. Trust is important in a loving relationship, but not a given, it is earned with time and trials and temptations.
 
Smurfy said:
What are you views on this...

Does it take more than LOVE alone to make a relationship work? Have you ever been in a relationship where you LOVED the person, but the relationship just COULD NOT go on? If so, what were the circumstances.
I'm curious
Click to expand...

I think it takes a man and a woman as well. I could be wrong. Oh also it could be a man and a man and a woman and a woman. Sometimes there are more but they are mormans and they don't count.
 
my last experience was because of jealousy and the time we couldnt spend together.

-sex was great.

-tons in common

but we both get so much attention from the opposite sex it drove us both nuts.

killed everything in the end.... we both work alot. and the time we spent together was so dear... oh well
 
Smurfy said:
What are you views on this...

Does it take more than LOVE alone to make a relationship work? Have you ever been in a relationship where you LOVED the person, but the relationship just COULD NOT go on? If so, what were the circumstances.
I'm curious
Click to expand...

I've been in relationships where I loved the person, but it didn't work out. Simply because they didn't love me back. :rolleyes: I think if you both truly love each other, everything else can be worked out. Maybe I'm just a hopeless romantic, but that's what I believe.
 
Re: Re: Does it take more than love...

Seashell said:
if you both truly love each other, everything else can be worked out
Click to expand...

Good Quote....
 
sh4dowf4lcon said:


well sweetheart Duchess darling,

to assume if you feel love you have trust is not a safe assumption. People say I love him but he keeps cheating on me...boo hoo...there is no trust and though she feels "love" they will probably fail. Not everyone who is in love with another person feels safe and secure and has trust in the relationship. Trust is important in a loving relationship, but not a given, it is earned with time and trials and temptations.
Click to expand...

oh dear presidente,
i totally agree with you. but i was speaking for myself only :) not for dumb women who think they love someone they do not trust

word.
 
I think what you are talking about is compatibility. Love will work short term, compatibility and the ability to tolerate your significant other is what will work long term. After time, their faults and shortcomings will start to wear on you. Thats why the divorce rate is over 50%, because love is enough to get married on, but not enough to make it last.
 
I think that REAL love will bring the two of you together to work through anything. Not the frilly love that you have at first...but a REAL love for one another.

With enough REAL love...two people can work through anything...if they really WANT it bad enough.

B True
 
i dated someone for a long time that i was hopelessly in love with. we started dating in high school. after six years of being together, it ended. we still loved each other deeply, but we had grown apart. we had love and trust, but we lost compatibility. i think we started dating too young.
 
falling in love while young and keeping things rolling as you grow is difficult. People change, and things change, and it requires effort and commitment to keep it moving along in a prosperous manner.
 
the one thing all your failed relationships have in common is you
 
MattTheSkywalker said:
the one thing all your failed relationships have in common is you
Click to expand...

Also that there is another person in them. Many people forget that a relationship is usually with someone else.
 
Smurfy said:
compatibility!! thats the answer! sometimes two people find themselves in love however, incompatible!! thats it!
Click to expand...

i don't see how you can love someone yet be incompatible........unless you use the term love loosely.

to have feelings of love for someone you are in a relationship with must mean that there is some compatibility, some meeting of the minds and soul. If there were no 'compatibility' your mind and heart would preclude you from loving that person, either through disinterest, boredom or both.

I think the problem is you may think you love him but don't.
 
i mean incompatible as far as life circumstances. like it just cant workout due to where each person is in their life right now. does that make sense? compatible in some ways but not all.
 
Smurfy said:
i mean incompatible as far as life circumstances. like it just cant workout due to where each person is in their life right now. does that make sense? compatible in some ways but not all.
Click to expand...

Yes it makes sense.....i initially thought you meant incompatible in terms of character/personality traits.

I'm in the same boat as you now. Met a 41 yo lady, gorgeous, great sex, we click so well.........but we areat different stages. She has 2 kids doesn't want anymore......I am 30, would like my own kids etc.
 
Love is fleeting.

You can fall in and out love with your mate and still be together successfully for many many years if not an entire lifetime.

Hope, patience and a dash of compassion...
 
I really think that people are forgetting that you need 2 people to be in a relationship. Love will not get you in a relationship with someone else but you get that after you meet them. ::rollyeyething""

Also people take chances much like gambling. See gambling board for more details
 
vinylgroover I said:


Yes it makes sense.....i initially thought you meant incompatible in terms of character/personality traits.

I'm in the same boat as you now. Met a 41 yo lady, gorgeous, great sex, we click so well.........but we areat different stages. She has 2 kids doesn't want anymore......I am 30, would like my own kids etc.
Click to expand...

we are having similar experiences right now. Im 33 my boyfriend 20. tons of great sex. a mutual admiration and deep caring for one another. i cant really see myself with anyone else. i never even felt so close with my husband. anyways, long story short...we are obviously in diiferent spots in life. he has not yet experienced adulthood, ive been there done that. although its a sad ending, its really for the best in the long run. everyone deserves long term happiness
 
Smurfy said:


we are having similar experiences right now. Im 33 my boyfriend 20. tons of great sex. a mutual admiration and deep caring for one another. i cant really see myself with anyone else. i never even felt so close with my husband. anyways, long story short...we are obviously in diiferent spots in life. he has not yet experienced adulthood, ive been there done that. although its a sad ending, its really for the best in the long run. everyone deserves long term happiness
Click to expand...

I think you ultimately knew it was a dead end, yet you did it anyway?
 
Smurfy said:


we are having similar experiences right now. Im 33 my boyfriend 20. tons of great sex. a mutual admiration and deep caring for one another. i cant really see myself with anyone else. i never even felt so close with my husband. anyways, long story short...we are obviously in diiferent spots in life. he has not yet experienced adulthood, ive been there done that. although its a sad ending, its really for the best in the long run. everyone deserves long term happiness
Click to expand...

Do you have children?

You're still a spring chicken....if you've been there done that, do it all over again, and again.........never say that, particularly at your age.

You say you can't really see yourself with anyone else, yet you go on to say 'everyone deserves long term happiness'. If he is what makes you happy..........

Are you scared that he will leave you at some point as he moves into adulthood and wants to experience different things?

The only thing stopping me from making it more serious with my lady is the issue of children.
 
sh4dowf4lcon said:
usually if it is really love then you can find a way to work out differences and issues without disrespecting each other.

you have to have respect & trust with the love to make it work. If you love each other but you cant trust each other because you sleep around or whatever, then it is doomed even though you feel love for the other person.

You need love first and then some other things to keep it healthy: trust, respect, honor, character, and commitment

MHO
Click to expand...

SF, I agree with you. You should probably add patience to your list too. Also, you need to be compatible and this includes sexual compatibility.
 
Love is a dish, best served....never.

It is a drug, and I don't like drugs. Especially ones that are known to create dependencies so powerful that a person's entire mind and state of well being shutdown upon withdrawl. A purely biological, involuntary event to ensure the evolution of the species, nothing more. I have too many aspiriations and goals to waste my time "under the influence".

Sorry if I urinated in the ice cream. I understand that I may come across as rather cynical and immature, which could be the case, but that is just my synopsis.
 
That's coo - Im all about the installment plan


aka - easy lovi...I mean......easy PAYMENT plan
 
I believe that romantic love is largely an illusion, based on attraction to the flesh and other conditions being met and maintained. It usually does not last. Love that does not last was never really love to begin with. Not the way that I define love.
 
biteme said:
I believe that romantic love is largely an illusion, based on attraction to the flesh and other conditions being met and maintained. It usually does not last. Love that does not last was never really love to begin with. Not the way that I define love.
Click to expand...

well put.
 
Smurfy said:
What are you views on this...

Does it take more than LOVE alone to make a relationship work? Have you ever been in a relationship where you LOVED the person, but the relationship just COULD NOT go on? If so, what were the circumstances.
I'm curious
Click to expand...

So...you are saying that you love me but because we live so far apart the affair has to stop?

:confused:

B True
 
Re: Re: Does it take more than love...

b fold the truth said:


So...you are saying that you love me but because we live so far apart the affair has to stop?

:confused:

B True
Click to expand...

:bawling: I'm sorry to break it to you in this way. But yes.
 
Re: Re: Re: Does it take more than love...

Smurfy said:


:bawling: I'm sorry to break it to you in this way. But yes.
Click to expand...

:(

I really wasn't kidding though...

B True
 
There was love... until She came home drunk with cum all over her shirt.
 
lucidBlue said:


SF, I agree with you. You should probably add patience to your list too. Also, you need to be compatible and this includes sexual compatibility.
Click to expand...

I agree compatibility sexually is important, and I could always use a little more patience. good points LB
 
Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Does it take more than love...

Smurfy said:


ok. I will move to Kentucky
Click to expand...

At least drop by and say hello or something...

B True
 
Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Does it take more than love...

Smurfy said:


Im moving into your house. Hope Nefi doesnt mind:angel:
Click to expand...

Haven't seen Nefi in a month...doubt I will for several more.

Seriously...you should come down and train one Sunday with us.

B True
 
Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Does it take more than love...

b fold the truth said:


Haven't seen Nefi in a month...doubt I will for several more.

Seriously...you should come down and train one Sunday with us.

B True
Click to expand...

Training with you guys would be cooler than cool, although im not much of a strongman LOL Id love to come down and watch you guys go nuts and get some tips on my lifting too!

Problem is, i would have to find someone to drive alkong with me. 6 hours is alot by yourself LOL maybe when the weather gets warmer (Im too much of a wimp to do anything in the cold) I will plan for a weekend down south:D
 
Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Does it take more than love...

Smurfy said:


Training with you guys would be cooler than cool, although im not much of a strongman LOL Id love to come down and watch you guys go nuts and get some tips on my lifting too!

Problem is, i would have to find someone to drive alkong with me. 6 hours is alot by yourself LOL maybe when the weather gets warmer (Im too much of a wimp to do anything in the cold) I will plan for a weekend down south:D
Click to expand...

Well, c'mon down. For real. We have implements for everyone...no matter how big, small, or strong that you are. It isn't about the weight that you move but about how hard you try.

Surely you can find a VOLUNTEER to ride with you...c'mon!!! I'm heading 4 hours North to St. Louis this weekend...surely you can go 2 more this direction or con SOMEONE into riding with you. I mean...you would get the once in a lifetime experience of meeting Cheese. Nobody EVER forgets that!!!

Cold weather? You will live. It is part of the 'fun' here at The Darden Home and Family Fitness Center:)

B True
 
Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Does it take more than love...

b fold the truth said:


Well, c'mon down. For real. We have implements for everyone...no matter how big, small, or strong that you are. It isn't about the weight that you move but about how hard you try.

Surely you can find a VOLUNTEER to ride with you...c'mon!!! I'm heading 4 hours North to St. Louis this weekend...surely you can go 2 more this direction or con SOMEONE into riding with you. I mean...you would get the once in a lifetime experience of meeting Cheese. Nobody EVER forgets that!!!

Cold weather? You will live. It is part of the 'fun' here at The Darden Home and Family Fitness Center:)

B True
Click to expand...

dang youre 4 hours from St Louis???? that means a good 9 hours for me LOL can i fly down there? I would definintely shell out cash to fly down for sure. (still not sure about the cold weather thing tho LOL)
 
Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Does it take more than love...

Smurfy said:


dang youre 4 hours from St Louis???? that means a good 9 hours for me LOL can i fly down there? I would definintely shell out cash to fly down for sure. (still not sure about the cold weather thing tho LOL)
Click to expand...

I live in Murray, KY 42071. Run a search from you to find out how far of a trip it is.

Rain, snow, sleet, hail, or shine...we still train on Sunday. Somebody else won't use the weather as an excuse...and it will matter on contest day.

B True
 
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