First off, everyone has baggage. Baggage build character.
Divorce is a tough one. My relationship broke up after 11 yrs and it was brutal, but you have to do what makes you happy.
Being safe is nice, but if you feel dead, you need to find what makes you feel alive.
She does deserve someone that loves her and she is not there for you b/c she's hurt. She is trying to move on.
Don't run back to safety, you made it this far, see what the next part of your journey has in store. It could be the best thing you ever did.
It sounds to me like you're making all the right decisions and on the road to happiness.
I hope to be there myself soon

Good luck with everything.....seriously!