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Do you ever get used to death?
- Thread starter Bobber
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when i was hanging around nursing homes a couple years ago, you know, helping out, hanging out, the occasional date, i really looked at things in life. long story short..i really want to live life and love life. and not to date a guy like me when im 90.
now i try and take a nap and start to think how much time is flying by. but...i..must..nap.....
now i try and take a nap and start to think how much time is flying by. but...i..must..nap.....
myway
Banned
When I was a new paramedic, I had nightmares about dead people after seeing a couple. That lasted for about 6 months. By then, I had seen a few dozen. I started to feel bad about my reaction. At 6 months, it was only sad to me when a younger person died. If someone was unhealthy and over the age of 55, it did not bother me at all.
Now, several years later, I am not bothered by the dying people but I am often upset about the families of the dying/dead. If I don't see them or meet them... it's not bad. Unfortunately, I have aquired a bad habit of looking at the pictures on the walls of homes when I get called for sick/injured people. I don't know why I do it. I try not to do it but I can't stop. It makes me sad when I am there to help a really sick, dying person(from cancer, ect.) and I see a picture of them(when they looked healthy and happy) on the wall with family members.
One of the worst memories of my life was the way a father looked at me. We were called to the house because he found his 6 month old daughter not breathing. Sure, a dead baby always bothers me but it was the way he looked at me that still burns in my brain. He had the look of relief on his face. He was scared and emotional when we arrived but as soon as he handed me(the paramedic) his dead daughter, he relaxed and started getting his things together to meet me at the hospital. He thought I could change things. He looked at me with appreciation, thanx, trust in his' eyes. Ouch.
Sometimes we can change things but not when someone has been dead as long as she had been dead. I could tell it had been at least over an hour. There's nothing I can do unless they are found within the first few minutes of the heart stopping.
It was not his fault. It was not one of the many shaking baby, abuse deaths. It was not SIDS. They found out she had a slow, undiagnosed brain bleed. She died while taking a nap. He found her dead when he was checking on her because she had slept longer than usual. It was the day before Mother's day. I remember sitting in a chair at the hospital watching the mother and grandparents arrive at the ER. Sometimes death still bothers me.
Most sittuations with death, I have grown to be very numb. Most of the time, if a person is dead and family members are not around to suffer, I don't think about it ever again probably starting 5 minutes after the call has ended. And most people who die around me are old and in nursing homes. It does not bother me, much.
Now, several years later, I am not bothered by the dying people but I am often upset about the families of the dying/dead. If I don't see them or meet them... it's not bad. Unfortunately, I have aquired a bad habit of looking at the pictures on the walls of homes when I get called for sick/injured people. I don't know why I do it. I try not to do it but I can't stop. It makes me sad when I am there to help a really sick, dying person(from cancer, ect.) and I see a picture of them(when they looked healthy and happy) on the wall with family members.
One of the worst memories of my life was the way a father looked at me. We were called to the house because he found his 6 month old daughter not breathing. Sure, a dead baby always bothers me but it was the way he looked at me that still burns in my brain. He had the look of relief on his face. He was scared and emotional when we arrived but as soon as he handed me(the paramedic) his dead daughter, he relaxed and started getting his things together to meet me at the hospital. He thought I could change things. He looked at me with appreciation, thanx, trust in his' eyes. Ouch.
Sometimes we can change things but not when someone has been dead as long as she had been dead. I could tell it had been at least over an hour. There's nothing I can do unless they are found within the first few minutes of the heart stopping.
It was not his fault. It was not one of the many shaking baby, abuse deaths. It was not SIDS. They found out she had a slow, undiagnosed brain bleed. She died while taking a nap. He found her dead when he was checking on her because she had slept longer than usual. It was the day before Mother's day. I remember sitting in a chair at the hospital watching the mother and grandparents arrive at the ER. Sometimes death still bothers me.
Most sittuations with death, I have grown to be very numb. Most of the time, if a person is dead and family members are not around to suffer, I don't think about it ever again probably starting 5 minutes after the call has ended. And most people who die around me are old and in nursing homes. It does not bother me, much.
S
Spartacus
Guest
I do the same thingmyway said:
seaking420
New member
Probably curiousity of what/who they were before they died
S
Spartacus
Guest
for me it helps me get a handle on the situationmyway said:
I'd estimate about 20-25% die at home,mostly under hospice care
mixed in with the occassional heart attack or suidcide
I don't make many home removals anymore as we pay an outside service to do that work
big relief to me as for about 5 years I was on call 24/7
its' the stress of getting a call at say 3am
having to get up,put on a suit,get directions and then get there
and then figure out what you're dealing with on an emotional level
patsfan1379
New member
4everhung said:
Does your job contribute to your alcoholism?
S
Spartacus
Guest
hard to saypatsfan1379 said:
I was sober for almost 9 years
that's a long enough stretch that I had long ago reached the point in which I never thought about drinking
it was just something I didn't do
I even continued to bartend the first 3 years of my sobriety
it was outback steakhouse so it was abit different than say bartending at a dance club
patsfan1379
New member
4everhung said:
and what made you begin again?
S
Spartacus
Guest
you wouldn't believe me if I told youpatsfan1379 said:
patsfan1379
New member
4everhung said:
You're probably right.
myway
Banned
yeah.... I know u peeps usually take a few minutes to come get the bodies........ I'm usually one of the peeps waiting around for u to get there.4everhung said:
It's good u aren't on call, anymore. That must help u out, some.
I know what u mean by hospice. We actually don't go to many hospice pt's houses when they die. The family usually just calls for u to send someone for the body. Every now and then, we run hot for a code, get there, find out it's a hospice pt. It's usually the family members calling AFTER they change their minds about the DNR. They get mad at me when I say I must respect the pt's wishes and let them die. o-well.
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