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Dear Dr. Awitty

Raptorex

New member
Men of EF, please post any relationship question you have here for Dr. Awitty. He can give you sage advice, he is an expert on female trickery, he has shown thousands of men that marriage counseling is not needed in order to bring back the feelings you first had when you fell in love.


Dear Dr. Awitty,
I am a 3x-year-old man. It seems that my girl is not interested in sex. On the contrary, I can have sex almost everyday but my girl is seldom game for it. Please guide me as to what I can do to revive her interest in sex?
 
mightymouse69 said:
Men of EF, please post any relationship question you have here for Dr. Awitty. He can give you sage advice, he is an expert on female trickery, he has shown thousands of men that marriage counseling is not needed in order to bring back the feelings you first had when you fell in love.


Dear Dr. Awitty,
I am a 3x-year-old man. It seems that my girl is not interested in sex. On the contrary, I can have sex almost everyday but my girl is seldom game for it. Please guide me as to what I can do to revive her interest in sex?
lol...just cut and paste that a few thousand times for all the peeps...
 
mightymouse69 said:
I very much agree, I hope he is not in a session already...lol.

Call it a hunch, but I have a feeling he will take some breaks in between his private sessions to respond to this thread. :rolleyes:
 
mightymouse69 said:
Men of EF, please post any relationship question you have here for Dr. Awitty. He can give you sage advice, he is an expert on female trickery, he has shown thousands of men that marriage counseling is not needed in order to bring back the feelings you first had when you fell in love.


Dear Dr. Awitty,
I am a 3x-year-old man. It seems that my girl is not interested in sex. On the contrary, I can have sex almost everyday but my girl is seldom game for it. Please guide me as to what I can do to revive her interest in sex?

:lmao:

That same question has been asked millions of times. If I knew the answer...I might be married myself.

The truth is I am not as wise as everyone thinks I am being married. I am only wise enough to know not to get married. :lmao: ( I prefer to pay per time)
 
awittyusername said:
:lmao:

That same question has been asked millions of times. If I knew the answer...I might be married myself.

The truth is I am not as wise as everyone thinks I am being married. I am only wise enough to know not to get married. :lmao:

Dear Dr. Awitty's brother, please log off your brothers account before he finds out. TY.
 
mightymouse69 said:
Dear Dr. Awitty's brother, please log off your brothers account before he finds out. TY.

lol


You should negotiate a deal. (It is easier to do before getting married)

First, figure out you monetary contribution to her monthly. (car, insurance, etc.) Then, figure a value for her sexual services. Finally, follow the following formula

X = monthly monetary contributions
Y = value for sexual services
PIE = 3.16

X / y + PIE = amount of monthly sexual sessions (round up)


example...

3,040/295 + PIE = 14 sexual sessions a month
 
awittyusername said:
lol


You should negotiate a deal. (It is easier to do before getting married)

First, figure out you monetary contribution to her monthly. (car, insurance, etc.) Then, figure a value for her sexual services. Finally, follow the following formula

X = monthly monetary contributions
Y = value for sexual services
PIE = 3.16

X / y + PIE = amount of monthly sexual sessions (round up)


example...

3,040/295 + PIE = 14 sexual sessions a month
Gawd damn. You deserve the Nobel prize. Fuck Bono.
 
Thank you Dr. Awitty for your insights, one further question, with regards to sexual services, is a BJ, .5Y or 2Y?

Regards, sad sexless guy


awittyusername said:
lol


You should negotiate a deal. (It is easier to do before getting married)

First, figure out you monetary contribution to her monthly. (car, insurance, etc.) Then, figure a value for her sexual services. Finally, follow the following formula

X = monthly monetary contributions
Y = value for sexual services
PIE = 3.16

X / y + PIE = amount of monthly sexual sessions (round up)


example...

3,040/295 + PIE = 14 sexual sessions a month
 
EnderJE said:
Gawd damn. You deserve the Nobel prize. Fuck Bono.

Yes, what gets them is you figure the value for each sex session a little higher than street value. (approx. $300) They don't realize how much expense guys are really shelling out.

Also, chicks aren't good with math. :)
 
awittyusername said:
Yes, what gets them is you figure the value for each sex session a little higher than street value. (approx. $300) They don't realize how much expense guys are really shelling out.

Also, chicks aren't good with math. :)

Ahem, Dr. Awitty, pie = 3.14

Yes, I know . . . typical woman beating a man down and always feeling the need to correct him.
 
mightymouse69 said:
Thank you Dr. Awitty for your insights, one further question, with regards to sexual services, is a BJ, .5Y or 2Y?

Regards, sad sexless guy


Exactly!

The value for these must be negotiate up front!!

Example, anal maybe 1.8 times the value of the standard sexual session.
However, if done correctly...you may not lose that many standard sexual sessions by getting the higher valued items (BJ, anal, etc)...Because, as I mentioned before...Chicks aren't that smart with the numbers. :)
 
nycgirl said:
Ahem, Dr. Awitty, pie = 3.14

Yes, I know . . . typical woman beating a man down and always feeling the need to correct him.

Damn!! Some women are smart with the numbers!



Really guys you let them think they outsmarted you. And, they are happy to refigure it to 13 times a month. 13 times a month from 1 or 2....who really was outsmarted??? You have to let them think they won the battle!!! But, we must concentrate on winning the war!
 
awittyusername said:
Damn!! Some women are smart with the numbers!

Really guys you let them think they outsmarted you. And, they are happy to refigure it to 13 times a month. 13 times a month from 1 or 2....who really was outsmarted??? You have to let them think they one the battle!!! But, we must concentrate on winning the war!

:lmao: :lmao: @ winning the war.
 
nycgirl said:
:lmao: :lmao: @ winning the war.

Letting the female win a few trivial battles is the most important thing! She is going to thing she corrected you and lowered the amount of sessions. But, really it was upped to 13 per month!!!

We will never stop our fight to win the war for Punannie, and against it powers!
 
awittyusername said:
Letting the female win a few trivial battles is the most important thing! She is going to thing she corrected you and lowered the amount of sessions. But, really it was upped to 13 per month!!!

We will never stop our fight to win the war for Punannie, and against it powers!

I'm going to write your formula down and remember it. It will be interesting to see if the amount of sessions is actually increased.

I have expensive taste when it comes to dinner and all. I just hope the man in my life will be able to handle the increase. I would hate to kill him. ;)
 
anyway, the real answer to this conundrum is simple: get better in bed. remember, your wife reminding you that your ceiling needs painting while youre having sex is A VERY BAD SIGN

bloody americans :rolleyes:
 
This is literally the best thread that I have ever seen on this site. I haven't laughed this hard in a very long time!!!!!!

Props to Dr. Awitty and Mr. Mouse :rose:

:lmao:
 
FEISTY11975 said:
This is literally the best thread that I have ever seen on this site. I haven't laughed this hard in a very long time!!!!!!

Props to Dr. Awitty and Mr. Mouse :rose:

:lmao:

I agree, they def need to sticky this and get it ready for the EF Wall of Fame!
 
FEISTY11975 said:
This is literally the best thread that I have ever seen on this site. I haven't laughed this hard in a very long time!!!!!!

Props to Dr. Awitty and Mr. Mouse :rose:

:lmao:

Thank you. But, it is easy to have "the very best thread". Just have a smart/funny guy like my buddy MM create a thread about me,and I simply post in it. And..Waaalaaa!
 
awittyusername said:
Thank you. But, it is easy to have "the very best thread". Just have a smart/funny guy like my buddy MM create a thread about me,and I simply post in it. And..Waaalaaa!

Why isn't this a :sticky: yet damnit??
 
Dear Dr. Awitty:

Have you ever loved a woman so much you tremble in pain? And all the time you know she bears another man's name.

Thanks,
Poor sexless lonely guy.
 
mightymouse69 said:
Dear Dr. Awitty:

Have you ever loved a woman so much you tremble in pain? And all the time you know she bears another man's name.

Thanks,
Poor sexless lonely guy.

I'm sorry sir,it appears the the good Dr. is out for the night. Come back tomorrow.
 
awittyusername said:
Thank you. But, it is easy to have "the very best thread". Just have a smart/funny guy like my buddy MM create a thread about me,and I simply post in it. And..Waaalaaa!


It would have been a better thread if you had not posted in it!!!!






j/j
 
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