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Dear New Guy at Work,
WTF? Why don’t you ever talk to me? It’s so unusual that someone new starts working here and never even acknowledges my presence. You’re sales, kiss up to accounting a little, trust me, you won’t regret it. Everyone else that works with you kind of hides when they hear my heels clicking across the floor. That sound almost always means I’ll be chewing someone out. You want to be on my good side.
Dear Work,
Why is the AC on? It was 68 in here when I got in and now it’s 62. Ummm…that’s a little cold.
Dear Coworkers,
Why the hell did you sit and grill me about my plans to breed while we ate birthday cake? I went down there for cake, not to get a talk about how I’m getting to an age where I should have a baby. Who asks things like that…especially when you know I’m starting school again in August.
Dear Mom and Dad,
Thank you for all of your support lately. I appreciate the hell out of both of you. I know you both have a ton going on right now and I hate feeling like a burden to you. Sometimes I think I kind of suck at being an adult.
Dear Little Sister,
I know I disappoint you by not wanting to go out with you all the time. I’m pretty sure my liver would shut off and I’d die if I lived your lifestyle for 2 weeks….how you manage to work out, work full time, go to school full time, and still party like you do is beyond me. I love you to pieces but you are seriously the most financially retarded person ever born. That just adds to my puzzlement about how you go out so much. On a plus note, I love reading your poetry. I can’t believe I know someone who can write the way you do. It’s unreal.
Dear Grandpa,
As if it’s not hard enough to watch you die, it’s even harder on everyone that you’re suffering so much because you refuse to take any of your pain meds. You’re so stubborn to suffer like this, but that’s just how you are. I love you.
Dear Emily,
I’m glad I get to be part of your wedding but I’m nervous. I’m not sure I’m the one who should be carrying something on fire to light the alter candles. You’ve known me since I was 9. Do you know anyone more clumsy? Why would you risk me lighting your church on fire? Let’s cross our fingers on that one and hope for the best.
Dear MN State Laws about Property Divison,
I’m sick of you. I’m going to have sleepless nights until this is all sorted out.
Dear Raina circa 2004,
Why didn’t you get a prenup? You stupid stupid girl. If I ever find a time machine I’m going back and kicking your ass.
Dear Gizmo,
I’m looking forward to starting up agility training with you again. I kind of think of spring/summer now as running around with you for an hour, my pockets stuffed with string cheese and cut up hotdogs, dog toys shoved down the back of my pants, a clicker in my hand and more treats in my mouth. I love how fearless you are on a course. You look jubilant when you’re running a course. It makes me smile.
Dear Bits,
I’ll never understand how you manage to get your tongue into my ear that far. That seriously has to be the worst way ever to wake up.
Dear Bikram Yoga Challenge,
40 classes in 8 weeks. That’s a hell of a lot of yoga. I love that I’m one of only 8 who signed up to do that many classes. I also love that the check off stickers are sparkly. That’s fantastic. Yoga and glitter = things Raina loves.
Dear Hamstrings,
You sure are being stubborn about flexibility aren’t you? It’s kind of a blessing though. I’m seeing it as a lesson in patience.
Dear Dandayamana - Bibhaktapada – Janushirasana,
You are my current least favorite yoga position right now. My quad sweat runs into my eyes and nose during you. Then I’m all sniffy when I go into my Tadasana/Padangustasana and my eyes burn like hell. My nose stays pretty sniffy too until Arhda – Kurmasana.
Dear Springtime in MN,
The warmer temps are heaven but I’m antsy for everything to get green again. Everything looks sort of bleak.
Dear Bike,
I’m so very much looking forward to spending the next 6-7 months with you. I’m still not sure if I can get 2 dogs into 1 bike basket but I’m going to try. I anticipate much wiggling and a high potential for injuries though in the process of trying to figure that one out. lol
Dear Anafit,
Thank you for making so much awesome stuff. I’m pretty sure half of the contents of my blood is anafit products. lol
Dear Sex,
I miss you.
Love,
Raina
WTF? Why don’t you ever talk to me? It’s so unusual that someone new starts working here and never even acknowledges my presence. You’re sales, kiss up to accounting a little, trust me, you won’t regret it. Everyone else that works with you kind of hides when they hear my heels clicking across the floor. That sound almost always means I’ll be chewing someone out. You want to be on my good side.
Dear Work,
Why is the AC on? It was 68 in here when I got in and now it’s 62. Ummm…that’s a little cold.
Dear Coworkers,
Why the hell did you sit and grill me about my plans to breed while we ate birthday cake? I went down there for cake, not to get a talk about how I’m getting to an age where I should have a baby. Who asks things like that…especially when you know I’m starting school again in August.
Dear Mom and Dad,
Thank you for all of your support lately. I appreciate the hell out of both of you. I know you both have a ton going on right now and I hate feeling like a burden to you. Sometimes I think I kind of suck at being an adult.
Dear Little Sister,
I know I disappoint you by not wanting to go out with you all the time. I’m pretty sure my liver would shut off and I’d die if I lived your lifestyle for 2 weeks….how you manage to work out, work full time, go to school full time, and still party like you do is beyond me. I love you to pieces but you are seriously the most financially retarded person ever born. That just adds to my puzzlement about how you go out so much. On a plus note, I love reading your poetry. I can’t believe I know someone who can write the way you do. It’s unreal.
Dear Grandpa,
As if it’s not hard enough to watch you die, it’s even harder on everyone that you’re suffering so much because you refuse to take any of your pain meds. You’re so stubborn to suffer like this, but that’s just how you are. I love you.
Dear Emily,
I’m glad I get to be part of your wedding but I’m nervous. I’m not sure I’m the one who should be carrying something on fire to light the alter candles. You’ve known me since I was 9. Do you know anyone more clumsy? Why would you risk me lighting your church on fire? Let’s cross our fingers on that one and hope for the best.
Dear MN State Laws about Property Divison,
I’m sick of you. I’m going to have sleepless nights until this is all sorted out.
Dear Raina circa 2004,
Why didn’t you get a prenup? You stupid stupid girl. If I ever find a time machine I’m going back and kicking your ass.
Dear Gizmo,
I’m looking forward to starting up agility training with you again. I kind of think of spring/summer now as running around with you for an hour, my pockets stuffed with string cheese and cut up hotdogs, dog toys shoved down the back of my pants, a clicker in my hand and more treats in my mouth. I love how fearless you are on a course. You look jubilant when you’re running a course. It makes me smile.
Dear Bits,
I’ll never understand how you manage to get your tongue into my ear that far. That seriously has to be the worst way ever to wake up.
Dear Bikram Yoga Challenge,
40 classes in 8 weeks. That’s a hell of a lot of yoga. I love that I’m one of only 8 who signed up to do that many classes. I also love that the check off stickers are sparkly. That’s fantastic. Yoga and glitter = things Raina loves.
Dear Hamstrings,
You sure are being stubborn about flexibility aren’t you? It’s kind of a blessing though. I’m seeing it as a lesson in patience.
Dear Dandayamana - Bibhaktapada – Janushirasana,
You are my current least favorite yoga position right now. My quad sweat runs into my eyes and nose during you. Then I’m all sniffy when I go into my Tadasana/Padangustasana and my eyes burn like hell. My nose stays pretty sniffy too until Arhda – Kurmasana.
Dear Springtime in MN,
The warmer temps are heaven but I’m antsy for everything to get green again. Everything looks sort of bleak.
Dear Bike,
I’m so very much looking forward to spending the next 6-7 months with you. I’m still not sure if I can get 2 dogs into 1 bike basket but I’m going to try. I anticipate much wiggling and a high potential for injuries though in the process of trying to figure that one out. lol
Dear Anafit,
Thank you for making so much awesome stuff. I’m pretty sure half of the contents of my blood is anafit products. lol
Dear Sex,
I miss you.
Love,
Raina
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Hope the rest of you bday was as special asl you. 
