Dancing Queen

[HappyScrappy]

Sat night I went out with my gf and her friends to a club in Boston. I haven't been out to a club in ages. This reminded me why. Lots of white meatheads standing there drinking, while overweight chicks in tight clothes bounced around.
The best part was a big video screen up on the wall, and they would play videos that would mock the people - and I don't think people even noticed.

The most interesting part of the evening was I walked in and was being introduced to friends of friends, and I couldn't hear a thing (I don't hear that well in a normal room, let alone a bass thumpin' sorta deal), so I just smiled and nodded.
I turned to be introduced to this one girl, and I almost burst out laughing because the following happened in my head:
Oh shit, a real life midget!
No wait... a dwarf.
A tall dwarf!
Hmm, maybe she is just a short chick.
With a freakishly large head.
I wonder if she had that surgery where she got her limbs stretched out.
She has really tiny hands and fingers.
They say she is a ski instructor.
Whoa, I can see her nipples.
Nice tits.
Fat thighs.
I wonder if she is embarassed about being so short and in public like this.
Am I drunk?
No, I haven't been drinking.
Did she see you checking out her tits?
No.
Good.
Time to get a beer.

And off to the bar I went.

The rest of the night was highly eneventful and just involved a Bud Light and lots of sweating for me. I looked to be the only guy there making any effort to dance at all, and eventually it got so crowded that all people were doing was standing there bumping into each other, listening to music.
good times.

it made me feel old, thinking "kids these days, what are they thinking?"

 

[pushing_fe]

This sounds a lot like my weekends except for that midget thing and the bud light thing. Oh yeah, and the fact that I stay home and hide in my closet on the weekends.

 

[HappyScrappy]

I usually stay home and don't go out - I get more done in terms of learning shit and trying to get my business off the ground.
but in terms of being like the rest of the people out there, I like to go out and at least give it a shot.
to be fair, I don't think this was one of the best clubs - and the people there seemed to be having a good enough time.

perhaps had I been drinking heavily I would have thought it more exciting.

 

[havoc]

The most interesting part of the evening was I walked in and was being introduced to friends of friends, and I couldn't hear a thing (I don't hear that well in a normal room, let alone a bass thumpin' sorta deal), so I just smiled and nodded.
I turned to be introduced to this one girl, and I almost burst out laughing because the following happened in my head:
Oh shit, a real life midget!
No wait... a dwarf.
A tall dwarf!
Hmm, maybe she is just a short chick.
With a freakishly large head.
I wonder if she had that surgery where she got her limbs stretched out.
She has really tiny hands and fingers.
They say she is a ski instructor.
Whoa, I can see her nipples.
Nice tits.
Fat thighs.
I wonder if she is embarassed about being so short and in public like this.
Am I drunk?
No, I haven't been drinking.
Did she see you checking out her tits?
No.
Good.
Time to get a beer.

And off to the bar I went.

The rest of the night was highly eneventful and just involved a Bud Light and lots of sweating for me. I looked to be the only guy there making any effort to dance at all, and eventually it got so crowded that all people were doing was standing there bumping into each other, listening to music.
good times.

it made me feel old, thinking "kids these days, what are they thinking?"

I can relate, I do the same then ask myself "did I say any of this out loud".

 

[Nathan]

The whole nodding 'yes' thing when you can't hear waht someone says reminds me of a story, a true story.
There was this girl in high school who was obviously into me. So, she invited me to a party at her house which I didn't have the heart to say no to. Anyway, I go to this party with a buddy of mine who has to leave after like an hour and he's my ride so I'm set for the ol' "in and out". I go in and talkto her for a while, all the time asking myself, "I wonder what Pepsi is REALLY made of. I wonder if there's any whale sperm in it cause I'm sure there must be a little bit in there somewhere. How can there not be? WOW! That guy should not be moving around like that. He might hurt someone very seriously which could lead to an untimely end to the life of some much less fat individual."
So it comes time to leave and she says she'll walk me out. I'm all, "Are you indirectly calling me mildly retarded? I do understand what a door is and I can see that it is 20 paces that way." She laughed which made me even angrier but I let it go.
So, as I'm about to get into the car she starts talking at me pretty fast and not too loud, not hearing what she was saying I did the ol' smile and nod routine. Next thing I know we're locked in a firm embrace, she's all over me and I'm officially her boyfriend. It hits me at that point that I was smiling and nodding to her proposal of being her "significant other." I didn't have the heart to say, "Oh wait, I thought you were just talking bullshit. Lord no, I don't want anything to do with you." So I dated her for a few weeks until I got the balls to end it. I'm a real coward I tell ya.

 

[HappyScrappy]

sounds a lot like me.

only I have to fart.

I used to always get stuck with the dudes and the fat chicks in spin the bottle.
later on I found out that you are supposed to play with other people beyond your fat neighbor and your dad.

 

[Nathan]

Was your neighbor a good kisser?

 

[HappyScrappy]

Was your neighbor a good kisser?

I don't remember.
but my dad is a really good kisser.

man... I just brought this thread to a whole new level.

you are so welcome.

 

[needleboy]

Sat night I went out with my gf and her friends to a club in Boston. I haven't been out to a club in ages. This reminded me why. Lots of white meatheads standing there drinking, while overweight chicks in tight clothes bounced around.
The best part was a big video screen up on the wall, and they would play videos that would mock the people - and I don't think people even noticed.

The most interesting part of the evening was I walked in and was being introduced to friends of friends, and I couldn't hear a thing (I don't hear that well in a normal room, let alone a bass thumpin' sorta deal), so I just smiled and nodded.
I turned to be introduced to this one girl, and I almost burst out laughing because the following happened in my head:
Oh shit, a real life midget!
No wait... a dwarf.
A tall dwarf!
Hmm, maybe she is just a short chick.
With a freakishly large head.
I wonder if she had that surgery where she got her limbs stretched out.
She has really tiny hands and fingers.
They say she is a ski instructor.
Whoa, I can see her nipples.
Nice tits.
Fat thighs.
I wonder if she is embarassed about being so short and in public like this.
Am I drunk?
No, I haven't been drinking.
Did she see you checking out her tits?
No.
Good.
Time to get a beer.

And off to the bar I went.

The rest of the night was highly eneventful and just involved a Bud Light and lots of sweating for me. I looked to be the only guy there making any effort to dance at all, and eventually it got so crowded that all people were doing was standing there bumping into each other, listening to music.
good times.

it made me feel old, thinking "kids these days, what are they thinking?"

admit it, you hooked up with the midget!!

 

[HappyScrappy]

Re: Re: Dancing Queen

admit it, you hooked up with the midget!!

dude - did you not read it? it was a tall dwarf.
and no - I didn't hook up with her, I was there with my gf and the dwarf chick was all kinds of not hot.
she was a freaky dancer though.

 

[Nathan]

I don't remember.
but my dad is a really good kisser.

man... I just brought this thread to a whole new level.

you are so welcome.

Yeah, thanks. Kissing dads is nothing short of sexy. I especially like watching my dad kiss....you know what, I don't feel comfortable completing that thought. Sorry. Anyway, back to Jesus and the way he moves his ass side to side in that alluring manner. He's a beefcake.

 

[pushing_fe]

Re: Re: Re: Dancing Queen

dude - did you not read it? it was a tall dwarf.
and no - I didn't hook up with her, I was there with my gf and the dwarf chick was all kinds of not hot.
she was a freaky dancer though.

Are you sure that she wasn't a Hobbit or an Elf.

 

[needleboy]

Re: Re: Re: Dancing Queen

dude - did you not read it? it was a tall dwarf.
and no - I didn't hook up with her, I was there with my gf and the dwarf chick was all kinds of not hot.
she was a freaky dancer though.

Menage???

 

[TEXgrl]

i swear i don't know who is funnier, HS or Nathan, i'm cracking up reading this thread.

 

[HappyScrappy]

Re: Re: Re: Re: Dancing Queen

Are you sure that she wasn't a Hobbit or an Elf.

I didn't see her feet - only her boobs, butt and hands.

I swear she looked like a dwarf... just taller.

 

[needleboy]

Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Dancing Queen

I didn't see her feet - only her boobs, butt and hands.

I swear she looked like a dwarf... just taller.

Maybe she suffered from bith dwarfism and giganticism at the same time