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Damn you snow workers!!!
- Thread starter The_Ghost
- Start date
LOLOL... you live my snow life, holmes!
My neighbor thought he was being Joe GoodSamaritan and shoveled all our paths last night (five brownstones in a row, we do 'stuff' for each other, pretty cool). He successfully cleared my path but pushed just enough over by our little garbage can house to let it freeze solid last night so the garbage men couldnt get the fucking door open and rang my bell at 5:15 this morning so i could toss on the sorels and chip the bitch open. That sucked pendulous moose cock.
Ok. I'm feeling better now.
My neighbor thought he was being Joe GoodSamaritan and shoveled all our paths last night (five brownstones in a row, we do 'stuff' for each other, pretty cool). He successfully cleared my path but pushed just enough over by our little garbage can house to let it freeze solid last night so the garbage men couldnt get the fucking door open and rang my bell at 5:15 this morning so i could toss on the sorels and chip the bitch open. That sucked pendulous moose cock.
Ok. I'm feeling better now.
December 8 it started to snow. The first of the season and the wife and I took hot buttered rum and sat by the window, watching the soft flakes drift down, clinging to the trees and covering the ground. It was beautiful.
December 9. We woke to a big beautiful blanket of crystal white covering the landscape. What a fantastic site. Every tree and shrub covered with a beautiful white mantle. I shoveled snow for the first time in years and loved it. I did both the driveway and sidewalk. Later the snowplow came along and covered the driveway with compacted snow from the street. He smiled and waved, I waved back, shoveled the driveway again, I didn't mind.
December 12. The sun has melted most of our lovely snow. Oh well, I am sure we'll get a little more before the lovely winter is through.
December 22. We are assured of a white Christmas because another 7" of snow fell today. Shoveled the driveway and sidewalk again. Shortly the snowplow came and did his wonderful trick again.
December 25. Merry Christmas. The son-of-a-bitch weather man predicts 12 more inches of the fucking white stuff tonight. To hell with Santa, he doesn't have to shovel that white shit.
January 4. It snowed 16-1/4" today. The power went out, phone service went dead and the car was buried. So many trees are down that it looks like a goddamn war zone. But what the heck, I got all dressed up to go out and shovel that shit again. Boots, jump suit, jacket, scarf, muffs, gloves, etc. Then I had to piss. Shoveled the sidewalk and driveway again and along came the damn snowplow.
January 8. Temperature dropped to 2 degrees. Fell on my ass an the ice in the driveway. $55.00 to the chiropractor, but nothing was broken, thank my lucky stars. The damn sky is getting dark again.
January 10. Still no power, no phone. Still cold. No way to cook. Opened up a can of dog food, not bad. To hell with the dog. Icy roads make it very tough driving. Slid into guardrail with my wife's car. Probably $2000.00 damage or more. She is all pissed off.
January 14. Had another 14" of the white shit tonight and with this freezing weather, it won't melt until next August. More shoveling for me. The goddamn snowplow came by twice. If ever I catch that son-of-a-bitch that drive that snowplow I'll drag him through the snow by his balls. I think he hides around teh corner and waits for me to finish shoveling and then comes down the street 100 miles an hour and throws that shit EVERYWHERE.
January 17. They predict 10" more inches of the fucking white stuff today. Does anyone know how many goddamn shovels full of snow 16" is? The snow plower came by asking for a donation. I hit him with my ice axe. Doctor says he will live.
January 19. The snow remains. The ice remains. It is 30 degrees. Who gives a hairy rat's ass anymore. I must be going snow blind or have a severe case of depression because the wife is starting to look good to me.
January 20. The toilet froze, the water pipes froze and the gutters fell off the house from heavy ice. I believe the roof is starting to cave in. If you go outside you can't eat the brown snow.
January 21. Hell w/ this white shit. I torched the goddamn house and we are moving to Florida.
December 9. We woke to a big beautiful blanket of crystal white covering the landscape. What a fantastic site. Every tree and shrub covered with a beautiful white mantle. I shoveled snow for the first time in years and loved it. I did both the driveway and sidewalk. Later the snowplow came along and covered the driveway with compacted snow from the street. He smiled and waved, I waved back, shoveled the driveway again, I didn't mind.
December 12. The sun has melted most of our lovely snow. Oh well, I am sure we'll get a little more before the lovely winter is through.
December 22. We are assured of a white Christmas because another 7" of snow fell today. Shoveled the driveway and sidewalk again. Shortly the snowplow came and did his wonderful trick again.
December 25. Merry Christmas. The son-of-a-bitch weather man predicts 12 more inches of the fucking white stuff tonight. To hell with Santa, he doesn't have to shovel that white shit.
January 4. It snowed 16-1/4" today. The power went out, phone service went dead and the car was buried. So many trees are down that it looks like a goddamn war zone. But what the heck, I got all dressed up to go out and shovel that shit again. Boots, jump suit, jacket, scarf, muffs, gloves, etc. Then I had to piss. Shoveled the sidewalk and driveway again and along came the damn snowplow.
January 8. Temperature dropped to 2 degrees. Fell on my ass an the ice in the driveway. $55.00 to the chiropractor, but nothing was broken, thank my lucky stars. The damn sky is getting dark again.
January 10. Still no power, no phone. Still cold. No way to cook. Opened up a can of dog food, not bad. To hell with the dog. Icy roads make it very tough driving. Slid into guardrail with my wife's car. Probably $2000.00 damage or more. She is all pissed off.
January 14. Had another 14" of the white shit tonight and with this freezing weather, it won't melt until next August. More shoveling for me. The goddamn snowplow came by twice. If ever I catch that son-of-a-bitch that drive that snowplow I'll drag him through the snow by his balls. I think he hides around teh corner and waits for me to finish shoveling and then comes down the street 100 miles an hour and throws that shit EVERYWHERE.
January 17. They predict 10" more inches of the fucking white stuff today. Does anyone know how many goddamn shovels full of snow 16" is? The snow plower came by asking for a donation. I hit him with my ice axe. Doctor says he will live.
January 19. The snow remains. The ice remains. It is 30 degrees. Who gives a hairy rat's ass anymore. I must be going snow blind or have a severe case of depression because the wife is starting to look good to me.
January 20. The toilet froze, the water pipes froze and the gutters fell off the house from heavy ice. I believe the roof is starting to cave in. If you go outside you can't eat the brown snow.
January 21. Hell w/ this white shit. I torched the goddamn house and we are moving to Florida.
The best is when someone leaves their car parked on the street (illegally) and the ploughs get angry and push the snow up against all 3 sides... bahahahaha! Mean but funny.
M
*MissFit*
Guest
my car is too sik to go to work today
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