Daddy Longlegs..

[AAP]

Daddy Longlegs !

A father watched his daughter playing in the garden. He smiled as he reflected on how sweet and innocent his little girl was. Suddenly she just stopped and stared at the ground. He went over to her and noticed she was looking at two spiders mating.

"Daddy, what are those two spiders doing?" she asked.

"They're mating," her father replied.

"What do you call the spider on top, Daddy?" she asked.

"That's a Daddy Longlegs." Her father answered.

"So, the other one is a Mommy Longlegs?" the little girl asked.

"No," her father replied. "Both of them are Daddy Longlegs."

The little girl thought for a moment, then stomped them both flat.
"Well, we're not having any of that shit in our garden.

 

[theoak01]

best joke ever

 

[oubeta]

I hear they are very venomenous

 

[gettinlarger]

I hear they are very venomenous

They are. Their venom is extremely poisonous ... just not to us.

 

[theoak01]

if there mouths were big enough they would be the most deadly spider in the world

 

[TC2]

I think a Daddy long leg isn't a spider, not sure though.

I still hate the spindle little mother fuckers.

 

[sigweed]

are you serious about the venom??
and no, they're not actually spiders... they lack the ability to create web

 

[big_bad_buff]

I killed 7 of those things yesturday, one was on top of my dryer. so I took my clothes out then tossed him in there...opened it up about 5 min later and I couldn't find NOTHIN BUT ONE LEG HAHAHAH

 

[oubeta]

ya they are posioness. Their fangs just can't penetrate human skin.

 

[XBiker]

Daddy Longlegs !

A father watched his daughter playing in the garden. He smiled as he reflected on how sweet and innocent his little girl was. Suddenly she just stopped and stared at the ground. He went over to her and noticed she was looking at two spiders mating.

"Daddy, what are those two spiders doing?" she asked.

"They're mating," her father replied.

"What do you call the spider on top, Daddy?" she asked.

"That's a Daddy Longlegs." Her father answered.

"So, the other one is a Mommy Longlegs?" the little girl asked.

"No," her father replied. "Both of them are Daddy Longlegs."

The little girl thought for a moment, then stomped them both flat.
"Well, we're not having any of that shit in our garden.

 

[gettinlarger]

are you serious about the venom??

Yes. VERY toxic.

 

[curling]

Awesome Joke. Liked it dude.

 

[slickdadd]

http://www.snopes.com/critters/wild/longlegs.htm

 

[Robert Jan]

longlegs make webs

 

[jeremys]

i live in central wisconsin. yesterday i was out in the garden and on a block of concrete i saw a thick, brownish spider with a thick white stripe down it's back. it wasn't very big, but thicker than most. it looks VERY similar to pictures i'm finding of brown recluses, but i hear they are very rare up here

anybody have any ideas of what it was? i fucking hate spiders. they give me the heebie-jeebies

 

[slickdadd]

Sounds just like a recluse.

 

[gettinlarger]

i live in central wisconsin. yesterday i was out in the garden and on a block of concrete i saw a thick, brownish spider with a thick white stripe down it's back. it wasn't very big, but thicker than most. it looks VERY similar to pictures i'm finding of brown recluses, but i hear they are very rare up here

anybody have any ideas of what it was? i fucking hate spiders. they give me the heebie-jeebies

It's going to crawl on your face in your sleep and bite you and you will die. Sorry dude. You're fucked.

 

[jeremys]

Sounds just like a recluse.

i read somewhere that in my state, there has been only 2 confirmed spottings in the last 25 years. now of course we're not sure if this is a recluse, but if it is...how would i catch it? everytime i see something like this i scream like a girl and run away. it's especially not going to be easy knowing what recluse bites can do to you

 

[jeremys]

It's going to crawl on your face in your sleep and bite you and you will die. Sorry dude. You're fucked.

lol damn you

 

[gettinlarger]

i read somewhere that in my state, there has been only 2 confirmed spottings in the last 25 years. now of course we're not sure if this is a recluse, but if it is...how would i catch it? everytime i see something like this i scream like a girl and run away. it's especially not going to be easy knowing what recluse bites can do to you

Catch it? Screw that. I think screaming like a girl and running away is your best defense.

 

[theoak01]

Catch it? Screw that. I think screaming like a girl and running away is your best defense.

I second that

I hate fucking spiders worse then anything,well ok some snakes scare me shitless

 

[WarriorPL]

awsome joke,

AAP... did you take any offense to it?

 

[Nathan]

are you serious about the venom??
and no, they're not actually spiders... they lack the ability to create web

YOU lack the ability to create web.

 

[slickdadd]

YOU lack the ability to create web.

best owning ever

 

[Nathan]

best owning ever

I thought as much. Your support means the world to me though. I love you.

 

[strider364]

Good stuff.

 

[gymrat]

Very funny joke