175 mg of test per week is a bit high for a TRT dose. Most doctors won't go over 200 mg every two weeks. That dose will likely put your test levels a little bit above the high end of what is considered normal. Crying doesn't always mean sadness or fear. I have been known to cry simply because I was extremely angry. In my teens I got into a fight and I beat the holy shit out of the other guy without him even injuring me. I tackled him and I was throwing down punches to his face and head for two minutes while crying like a baby the whole time. I also avoid funerals when possible because I'm one of those people that instinctively laughs during the funeral despite the fact that I'm actually sad.