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Gilbyag
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Subject: GM versus Microsoft
Those of you who have had experience with
computers and their glitches and
idiosyncrasies, and downright illogical
workings will appreciate the following:
At a recent computer expo (COMDEX), Bill
Gates reportedly compared the computer industry
with the auto industry and stated If GM had kept
up with the technology like the computer industry
has, we would all be driving $25.00
cars that got 1,000 miles to the gallon.
In response to Bill's comments, General
Motors issued a press release stating:
If GM had developed technology like
Microsoft, we would all be driving cars
with the following characteristics:
l. For no reason whatsoever, your car would
crash twice a day.
2. Every time they repainted the lines in the
road, you would have to buy a new car.
3. Occasionally your car would die on the
freeway for no reason. You would have to pull
over to the side of the road,
close all of the windows,
shut off the car, restart it, and reopen the
windows before you could continue.
For some reason you would simply accept this.
4. Occasionally, executing a maneuver such as
a left turn would cause you car to shut down and
refuse to restart, in which case you would have
to reinstall the engine.
5. Only one person at a time could use the
car unless you bought "CarNT," but
then you would have to buy more seats.
6. Macintosh would make a car that was
powered by the sun, was reliable, five
times as fast and twice as easy to drive but
would run on only 5% of the roads.
7. The oil, water temperature, and alternator
warning lights would all be replaced by a single
"General Protection Fault" warning light.
8. New seats would force everyone to have the
same sized butt.
9. The airbag system would ask "are you sure"
before deploying.
10. Occasionally for no reason whatsoever,
your car would lock you out and refuse to let you
in until you simultaneously lifted the door
handle, turned the key and grabbed hold of the
radio antenna.
11. GM would require all car buyers to also
purchase a deluxe set of Rand McNally Road maps
(now a GM subsidiary), even though they neither
need nor want them. Attempting to delete this
option would immediately cause the car's
performance to diminish by 50% or more. Moreover,
GM would become a target for investigation by the
Justice Dept.
12. Every time GM introduced a new car, car
buyers would have to learn to drive all over
again because none of the controls would operate
the same as in the old car.
13. You'd have to press the start button to turn
the engine off.
Those of you who have had experience with
computers and their glitches and
idiosyncrasies, and downright illogical
workings will appreciate the following:
At a recent computer expo (COMDEX), Bill
Gates reportedly compared the computer industry
with the auto industry and stated If GM had kept
up with the technology like the computer industry
has, we would all be driving $25.00
cars that got 1,000 miles to the gallon.
In response to Bill's comments, General
Motors issued a press release stating:
If GM had developed technology like
Microsoft, we would all be driving cars
with the following characteristics:
l. For no reason whatsoever, your car would
crash twice a day.
2. Every time they repainted the lines in the
road, you would have to buy a new car.
3. Occasionally your car would die on the
freeway for no reason. You would have to pull
over to the side of the road,
close all of the windows,
shut off the car, restart it, and reopen the
windows before you could continue.
For some reason you would simply accept this.
4. Occasionally, executing a maneuver such as
a left turn would cause you car to shut down and
refuse to restart, in which case you would have
to reinstall the engine.
5. Only one person at a time could use the
car unless you bought "CarNT," but
then you would have to buy more seats.
6. Macintosh would make a car that was
powered by the sun, was reliable, five
times as fast and twice as easy to drive but
would run on only 5% of the roads.
7. The oil, water temperature, and alternator
warning lights would all be replaced by a single
"General Protection Fault" warning light.
8. New seats would force everyone to have the
same sized butt.
9. The airbag system would ask "are you sure"
before deploying.
10. Occasionally for no reason whatsoever,
your car would lock you out and refuse to let you
in until you simultaneously lifted the door
handle, turned the key and grabbed hold of the
radio antenna.
11. GM would require all car buyers to also
purchase a deluxe set of Rand McNally Road maps
(now a GM subsidiary), even though they neither
need nor want them. Attempting to delete this
option would immediately cause the car's
performance to diminish by 50% or more. Moreover,
GM would become a target for investigation by the
Justice Dept.
12. Every time GM introduced a new car, car
buyers would have to learn to drive all over
again because none of the controls would operate
the same as in the old car.
13. You'd have to press the start button to turn
the engine off.
