cheap ass bastard at the liquor store...

[AAP]

Man.... just came back from the liquor store. I am having the company Xmas party here at my house (again) this year. I was given a $1900 check to purchase the liquor and bar supplies with. (food is catered)

So I go to this liquor and proceed to spend it all. When I go to check out... the guy behind the counter goes "wow! I have never seen anyone purchase this much all at once before." So I ask him "does this mean I get something free?" You know.. I was just being funny. So he calls the owner over and says to him "look how much this guy is buying. shouldn't we give him something free?" The owner was like... "oh yeah, oh yeah.. I got some free stuff for you. hang on."

Guess what he brought back?







Go on. Take a guess?






You thinking some cheap discounted wine right?









Or maybe a few of those airplane size alcohol bottles right?









Or at the very least, a t-shirt?












No.













He brought back a fucking wine bottle opener with a plastic handle that says Luna Di Luna on it.
WTF?

Seriously... there was a BETTER wine bottle opener in the 99 cent clearance bin.

I looked at him and said "oh no, you shouldn't have. This is great."

And he just stood there and beamed while saying "you like? You like?"

While I am standing thinking if I had a gun, I would have come back later and robbed them.

I mean, I only got ONE item. When you say "stuff", I tend to think plural.

 

[The Shadow]

lol

 

[SoloFlex]

that's a good story bro, and a lesson to us all

 

[AAP]

No shit man. Hell, I could have spent $4.99 on a bottle of Cabana Boy and gotten a tshirt.

And the kicker was, this man REALLY thought I was proud of it. He was "honored" to give me this.

I am sitting here right now and not feeling one little ounce of remorse or guilt for stealing that can of Red Bull on the way out.

 

[ZKaudio]

damn... shoulda gone to a grocery store, or a bevmo. U musta gotten reamed at a liquor store =/

 

[tiger88]

all camo footies and bush lite and cheese its and some strippers is my ideal xmas party

and some swimming too

 

[PoyeBoy]

so what did you all get?

if you spent $1900 on liqour I would love to be at that freakin party

 

[tiger88]

so what did you all get?

if you spent $1900 on liqour I would love to be at that freakin party

no shit me too


but i am drunk in like 7 beers though


but i would be a trooper that day

 

[Lao Tzu]

So what'd you end up buying?

$1900 could get you 100 gallons of blended canadian whiskey.

When i was reading your post i thought he was going to give you a 24 pack of Natural Light for some reason.

 

[Dial_tone]

He should've sent a guy home with you to tend bar during the party. Cheap bastid.

 

[tuc biscuit]

that is nothing, I've got way better free stuff for spending much less

 

[AAP]

For them...

I got a shitload of Sterling Chardonnay and some various merlots... All from the bargain sections. I bought 9 cases total. I picked obsurce brands so they wouldn't recognize how cheap it was. The trick -* pay attention class *- is to put a tiny drop of 100 % lemon juice in the bottom of the glass. ONLY a drop. That gives the merlot an "edge" and the chardonnay a "freshness". Make sure you do it well before the party so it will have dried to a nearly invisible spot by the time the guests arrive.

Then I got Absolute and ABC vodka... some of the "flavored" vodka (to blend in with all the flavored vodka I had left over from my Easter Bonnet party that some of the bars gave me)... and because people will want that appletini, cinnatini and other weird shit.

Some Jose Tequalia and margarita mix. Other mixers like Cosmo instance mix, mai tai, etc...

Then a few Jack Daniels and Beef Eaters....

That was for them.


For me...... (which ain't going out on my bar until AFTER the party)

a couple of Glenfeddich, 1 Chevis Regal 12 year, 1 Chevis Regal 18 year, 2 bottles of Glenmorangie (the guy behind the counter said it was good) 3 bottles of Oro Azul tequila, two bottles of Corazon tequila (just liked the bottle, never tried it before), one bottle of Tres Generationcons, 3 bottles each of Grey Goose Vodka, Van Gough, and Belvedere, and this one little bottle of Japanese Sake which I have no intentions of drinking.. I just loved the color of the bottle and the way it was made.

 

[hardrock]

$1900 holy shit! What time should we be there?

 

[AAP]

that is nothing, I've got way better free stuff for spending much less

Yeah... me too. From smaller liquor stores.

AND.... neither of the mofos would help me carry all this shit to my car either.

 

[tiger88]

Yeah... me too. From smaller liquor stores.

AND.... neither of the mofos would help me carry all this shit to my car either.

usually a stock boy can help u?

none there to help?

 

[PoyeBoy]

One time my friend brought back a bottle of alcohol from japan with a giant snake in it, shit was like 90bucks american, it was supposed to have magic healing powers that made your penis better or something

 

[AAP]

One time my friend brought back a bottle of alcohol from japan with a giant snake in it, shit was like 90bucks american, it was supposed to have magic healing powers that made your penis better or something

get out of here. Are you serious? shit man, that would be so cool on my bar. What was the name of it?

 

[jackangel]

One time my friend brought back a bottle of alcohol from japan with a giant snake in it, shit was like 90bucks american, it was supposed to have magic healing powers that made your penis better or something

did it do anything for gyno?

 

[ZKaudio]

poye, I have one in oc... my brother brought it back from thailand. It's a dead cobra... basically the story is, the longer the snake sits in the alcohol, the more of its venom seeps into the liquid. So people take shots of this stuff, and usually it just fux you up to high hell (not in a good way, seeing as how cobra venum is a neurotoxin) its a "manliness thing" but if you get a bottle that has had the snake in it for too long it can kill you...

 

[AAP]

poye, I have one in oc... my brother brought it back from thailand. It's a dead cobra... basically the story is, the longer the snake sits in the alcohol, the more of its venom seeps into the liquid. So people take shots of this stuff, and usually it just fux you up to high hell (not in a good way, seeing as how cobra venum is a neurotoxin) its a "manliness thing" but if you get a bottle that has had the snake in it for too long it can kill you...

WHERE CAN I GET SOME OF THIS SHIT FROM?

 

[from zero]

LOL, sounds like the liquor store I used to work at. Rich owners were cheap bastards.

 

[ZKaudio]

aap: thailand.

 

[AAP]

aap: thailand.

Since I am not going there anytime soon... think I could order it and have it shipped? HA!

Or... if I got someone to go... what are the chances it making it back through customs to U.S. on the plane.

 

[Dial_tone]

http://ww2.pstripes.osd.mil/01/mag/sm072201c.html

 

[rnch]

what are the caterers serving?

 

[PIGEON-RAT]

weak. real parties only need a bunch of everclear and koolaid

 

[GoldenDelicious]

sounds like you should have shopped around AAP

a purchase like that should get you a huge discount

oh and cheers for the lemon trick- i use it in beer already to kill aftertaste

actually the beer i put it in to reflavour is the stuff you guys pay an arm and a leg for over there and vice versa

weird world sometimes

 

[magman1]

for$1900 i woulda gotten two bottles of everclear to get everyone fucked up and pocketed the rest! u inviting us?

 

[GodOfThunder]

What refined choices of scotch! A man after my own taste-I like that. I like the Glenfiddich the best.

 

[ChefWide]

The Macallan. is there another scotch?

 

[WarriorPL]

LMAO i actually guessed right.

i remember my buds and i were loading up for a party and the sum was a good $300+ and i remember the store owned was really nice and gave a 15%.. nice guy. Place always gives discounts if you buy like 10+ bottles.