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can.....not.....breathe.....

Seashell

El Kabong
Platinum
Why is it that when there's 7 free benches, Mr.Ihaven'tshoweredin2months guy has to choose the one RIGHT next to you?

And then do a myriad of strange excercises that involve much flailing and flapping, moving the air around way more than is necessary.
angry016.gif
<-- literally

I thought I could make it through the set, but I was wrong. It had a cryptonite-like effect, totally messed up my concentration, and I lost all my strength. Maybe because I was holding my breath. ;)

Anyway, gyms should supply an aerosol Febreeze-for-the-funky that other gym-goers are allowed to use on such folk. I think I'll put that in the suggestion box.
 
Then theres Mr. Fatty O'BackOfBallsStench who clearly has been using the same shorts for the last decade, I thought they were shiny lycra... but oh no... they are shiny because even the light particles are running away from his musky rank mophead rotting dog corpse elephant anus testicle reek.

GAWWWWWD DAMMMMMN you STINK!

I see nutfungus coming and I leave. There is no other way.
 
I wear the nastiest, crustiest thing I can find to work out in from the laundry pile and I take it outside and rub it in the cow shit just for added ambience. If thats not enough to keep people at bay then a good dose of rotten fruit stench on my nuts usually does the job.

Plus lots of farts. Those are cool.
 
ChefWide said:
Then theres Mr. Fatty O'BackOfBallsStench who clearly has been using the same shorts for the last decade, I thought they were shiny lycra... but oh no... they are shiny because even the light particles are running away from his musky rank mophead rotting dog corpse elephant anus testicle reek.

GAWWWWWD DAMMMMMN you STINK!

I see nutfungus coming and I leave. There is no other way.

:lmao: :lmao: :lmao: And here I was feeling that it was unkind of me to switch benches to flee the malodour.. lol..
 
WODIN said:
I wear the nastiest, crustiest thing I can find to work out in from the laundry pile and I take it outside and rub it in the cow shit just for added ambience. If thats not enough to keep people at bay then a good dose of rotten fruit stench on my nuts usually does the job.

Plus lots of farts. Those are cool.

HOT!
 
The Bigdawg said:
stop being so hot.

P.S. just look at him and and say "do you smell someone foul"

lol, there was only 2 of us there.. that would have been completely non-subtle. Then I'd have felt bad.
 
no offense Seashell, but if i was the freakiest, smelliest, nastiest human being on the earth stenching from here to the high heavens of lingering fecal matter and decaying bacteria ... i would still go out of my way to be as close to you as possible.

who knows? some girls are into freaky shit!
 
Seashell said:
lol, there was only 2 of us there.. that would have been completely non-subtle. Then I'd have felt bad.

There is no room for that when you are turning blue!!!!!

I feel for ya though, last week there was a guy like that, he was always in the same area as me and for a split second I thought, DAYUM is that me! No fucking way! Then I saw him again!!!
 
coverguy said:
no offense Seashell, but if i was the freakiest, smelliest, nastiest human being on the earth stenching from here to the high heavens of lingering fecal matter and decaying bacteria ... i would still go out of my way to be as close to you as possible.

who knows? some girls are into freaky shit!


" If "?
 
We used to have a guy we called "stinky". Nicest guy ever, but wore the same thing to the gym everyday, and seemingly never washed it. He got several complaints and was even kicked out a few times.

He even talked to a few of us about it once, telling us how he didn't smell anything. It was pretty hard to tell the guy he fuckin reeked. His membeship was eventually cancelled. Poor old stinky.
 
It's this way with parking spaces too. I go to the grocery store and get into my parking spot, and even though the parking lot's half empty, low and behold someone has to pull in right next to me, so I half to wait for them before I can open my fucking car door. :rolleyes: It's happened many times.
 
im sure the fact that you have boobs had nothing to do with his decision to use the bench next to yours, also he wanted you to smell his scent, its a male mating kinda thing
 
hanselthecaretaker said:
It's this way with parking spaces too. I go to the grocery store and get into my parking spot, and even though the parking lot's half empty, low and behold someone has to pull in right next to me, so I half to wait for them before I can open my fucking car door. :rolleyes: It's happened many times.

Yes! And I notice it in clothing stores too, the whole store is empty and the only other person needs to come and look at the stuff on the same rack as me. GIT! :D
 
hardrock said:
We used to have a guy we called "stinky". Nicest guy ever, but wore the same thing to the gym everyday, and seemingly never washed it. He got several complaints and was even kicked out a few times.

He even talked to a few of us about it once, telling us how he didn't smell anything. It was pretty hard to tell the guy he fuckin reeked. His membeship was eventually cancelled. Poor old stinky.

i at least wash gym clothes if i'm going to wear them again the next day.

well, sometimes.

i always enjoyed dropping the kids off at the pool before squats or deadlifts. i'd always "forget" to wipe. made the movements so much smoother.

damn shoulder, heal up already so i can get back into the gym. i miss it.
 
Hey seashell I enjoy watching your gallery... :p
 
Seashell said:

A la Paris Hilton......no??

My wife knows how very much this Paris phrase annoys me..."That's hot"..


She uses it in every context possible, and it makes me want shove my foot in her ass. :evil:
 
hardrock said:
We used to have a guy we called "stinky". Nicest guy ever, but wore the same thing to the gym everyday, and seemingly never washed it. He got several complaints and was even kicked out a few times.

He even talked to a few of us about it once, telling us how he didn't smell anything. It was pretty hard to tell the guy he fuckin reeked. His membeship was eventually cancelled. Poor old stinky.

Same thing happened to this Pakastani cardiac surgeon at my gym........

Stanky bastard would roll in smelling like curry and turds........or maybe that was just his B.O.........either way it was putrid. His membership got shitcanned after 3,000 complaints.
 
jackangel said:
"why do tards suddenly appear?

every time...you are near?

just like me, they long to be...

close to you"


oh my god. dude. you have a gift.


I... I ... never mind.


fag.bmp
 
pitbullstl said:
A la Paris Hilton......no??

My wife knows how very much this Paris phrase annoys me..."That's hot"..


She uses it in every context possible, and it makes me want shove my foot in her ass. :evil:

Bahh no!! I hat Paris Hilton. My cousin said "HOT!!" all the time before that show ever came on, in a sarcastic way, and she got me doing it.

I'm trying very hard to stop because everyone thinks I'm copying airface with her "That's hot".. :smash:
 
That's why I started carrying aerosol cans to the gym. Now, when el stinko tries to workout near me...BAMM! Lysol in the eyes. Sure, some have complained, but I've gotten a few standing ovations.
 
The worst are the gyms that have stinky changing rooms. One person is bad..a whole freaking room is worse.
 
EnderJE said:
That's why I started carrying aerosol cans to the gym. Now, when el stinko tries to workout near me...BAMM! Lysol in the eyes. Sure, some have complained, but I've gotten a few standing ovations.

I would die laughing if I saw someone do that.. just walk up and start spraying directly on the person.. lolol... Please come to my gym and do it for me, I'll be your best friend. :rose:
 
If I were benching next to you, you'll see a big tent at your side... :p :p :heart:
 
Seashell said:
I would die laughing if I saw someone do that.. just walk up and start spraying directly on the person.. lolol... Please come to my gym and do it for me, I'll be your best friend. :rose:
Sure, I just let me know where and when. I'll be the guy in the "Hi I'm Oak and a SWV!" shirt. Point me to the guy and he'll be lemon fresh in a sec.
 
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