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Boredism
- Thread starter treilin
- Start date
T
The Shadow
Guest
SO:
a preist
a Rabbi
an Irishman
and a white cracker walk into a bar....
the bartender looks up and asks:
"What is this...some knid of a joke?"
a preist
a Rabbi
an Irishman
and a white cracker walk into a bar....
the bartender looks up and asks:
"What is this...some knid of a joke?"
M
*MissFit*
Guest
look up porn
ashley2212
Banned
Ever watch the Jane Pauley show? I just watched it for the first time... well, I've been listening to it behind me while I was typing... she's trying to be Oprah. She's has a trainer on the show who is going to help her "lose bodyfat."
You might think with all of weight loss bullshit on tv that America might be inspired to be less fat. Instead, they just sit there with their twinkies and watch the shows wondering why they're still fat.
Jane Pauley is not a good talk show host. She annoys me.
You might think with all of weight loss bullshit on tv that America might be inspired to be less fat. Instead, they just sit there with their twinkies and watch the shows wondering why they're still fat.
Jane Pauley is not a good talk show host. She annoys me.
T
The Shadow
Guest
My 2 cc's worth:
65% of america is over weight
Smoking has dropped to 35%
...both are recent stusides....
HEY...that total is 100%......
65% of america is over weight
Smoking has dropped to 35%
...both are recent stusides....
HEY...that total is 100%......
ashley2212
Banned
The Shadow said:
Interesting... maybe people should start smoking again...
T
The Shadow
Guest
There's 3 midgets. They're examining their bodies, when the first one goes 'I bet I have the smallest hands in the world.' The second one goes, 'Yeah? I bet i have the smallest feet.' Finally, the third says, 'Well, i don't really feel comfortable admitting this, but I think I have the smallest dick in the world.'
So they all, one by one, go and check the Guinness Book of Records. The first midget comes back, and happily exclaims 'Yeah! I have the smallest hands in the world!' The second midget comes back, also ecstatic. 'Yes! Smallest feet!!'
After a few minutes, the third midget comes back, with a very gloomy look on his face. The other two ask 'What's wrong dude?'
'... Who the fuck is The Shadow?'
HAHAHAHAHAAHhahaa..hhahah.....hhah.h....hhaa
*wait*
So they all, one by one, go and check the Guinness Book of Records. The first midget comes back, and happily exclaims 'Yeah! I have the smallest hands in the world!' The second midget comes back, also ecstatic. 'Yes! Smallest feet!!'
After a few minutes, the third midget comes back, with a very gloomy look on his face. The other two ask 'What's wrong dude?'
'... Who the fuck is The Shadow?'
HAHAHAHAHAAHhahaa..hhahah.....hhah.h....hhaa
*wait*
Sassy69
New member
Here's one for Shadow:
http://www.illwillpress.com/vault.html -- click on the 2nd video clip from the left, first row - "SO I said to my doctor"
Also all sorts of good stuff in there....!
http://www.illwillpress.com/vault.html -- click on the 2nd video clip from the left, first row - "SO I said to my doctor"
Also all sorts of good stuff in there....!
T
The Shadow
Guest
Sassy69 said:
LOL
Sassy69
New member
T
The Shadow
Guest
my speakers died
Sassy69
New member
treilin said:You're pretty funny... I'm on a work computer... Some of the Avatars on here I'm a bit nervous about having up... I don't feel like losing my over-paid, non-brain cell working boring job at this point in time. Maybe if I were home
I work at a web hosting company. You'd think that they have the latest in monitoring technology. But nooooooooooo.. Actually it turns out that one of the head guys in our IT dept & his chubby wife in the Training dept run a bondagewear website and they are the clothing models. Ugh. Apparently we host those particular sites on our offshore servers....
ashley2212
Banned
treilin said:
Turn em off... that's what I did...
T
The Shadow
Guest
You must spread some Karma around before giving it to treilin again.
ashley2212
Banned
treilin said:Yeah but I like looking at Shadow
Ok, geez... turn of avatars and open up his profile on a separate page and click back and forth in between reading posts on the board... LOL
T
The Shadow
Guest
treilin said:
??
J
jenscats5
Guest
A horse walks into a bar........... The bartender says "Hey buddy, why the long face??"
Two vampires walk by a morgue. The one says to the other "Wanna stop in for a cold one??"
Two vampires walk by a morgue. The one says to the other "Wanna stop in for a cold one??"
T
The Shadow
Guest
lol
T
The Shadow
Guest
Ok.....this is a love/hate deal...
It came frommy 4 year-old cousin:
"What is fuzzy, green, and if it falls out of a tree on your head, it will kill you."
a POOL TABLE
It came frommy 4 year-old cousin:
"What is fuzzy, green, and if it falls out of a tree on your head, it will kill you."
a POOL TABLE
Uncle Ted's Special Skill
Joe loved golf, but his eyesight had gotten so bad, that he couldn't find his ball once he'd hit it. He consulted with his wife, and she recommended that Joe bring along her uncle Ted.
Joe said, "But Ted is 80 years old and half senile!"
His wife replied, "Yes, but his eyesight is incredible."
Joe finally agreed and took Ted along. He teed off and could feel that he had hit it solidly. He asked Ted, "Do you see it?"
Ted nodded his head and said, "Boy, that was a beautiful shot!"
Joe excitedly asked, "Well, where did it land?!"
Ted said, "Hmmm. I forget."
Joe loved golf, but his eyesight had gotten so bad, that he couldn't find his ball once he'd hit it. He consulted with his wife, and she recommended that Joe bring along her uncle Ted.
Joe said, "But Ted is 80 years old and half senile!"
His wife replied, "Yes, but his eyesight is incredible."
Joe finally agreed and took Ted along. He teed off and could feel that he had hit it solidly. He asked Ted, "Do you see it?"
Ted nodded his head and said, "Boy, that was a beautiful shot!"
Joe excitedly asked, "Well, where did it land?!"
Ted said, "Hmmm. I forget."
The Aging Explorer
A young reporter went to a retirement home to interview an aged but legendary explorer. The reporter asked the old man to tell him the most frightening experience he had ever had.
The old explorer said, "Once I was hunting Bengal tigers in the jungles of India. I was on a narrow path and my faithful native gunbearer was behind me. Suddenly the largest tiger I have ever seen leaped onto the path in front of us. I turned to get my weapon only to find the native had fled. The tiger leapt toward me with a mighty ROARRRR! I soiled myself."
The reporter said, "Under those circumstances anyone would have done the same."
The old explorer said, "No, not then - just now when I went ''''ROARRRR!''''"
A young reporter went to a retirement home to interview an aged but legendary explorer. The reporter asked the old man to tell him the most frightening experience he had ever had.
The old explorer said, "Once I was hunting Bengal tigers in the jungles of India. I was on a narrow path and my faithful native gunbearer was behind me. Suddenly the largest tiger I have ever seen leaped onto the path in front of us. I turned to get my weapon only to find the native had fled. The tiger leapt toward me with a mighty ROARRRR! I soiled myself."
The reporter said, "Under those circumstances anyone would have done the same."
The old explorer said, "No, not then - just now when I went ''''ROARRRR!''''"
How Golf is like Urinating in a Public Restroom
10. Keep your back straight, knees bent, feet shoulder width apart.
9. Form a loose grip.
8. Keep your head down.
7. Avoid a quick backswing.
6. Stay out of the water.
5. Try not to hit anybody.
4. If you are taking too long, you should let others go ahead of you.
3. You shouldn't stand directly in front of others.
2. Be quiet while others are about to go.
1. Keep strokes to a minimum.
10. Keep your back straight, knees bent, feet shoulder width apart.
9. Form a loose grip.
8. Keep your head down.
7. Avoid a quick backswing.
6. Stay out of the water.
5. Try not to hit anybody.
4. If you are taking too long, you should let others go ahead of you.
3. You shouldn't stand directly in front of others.
2. Be quiet while others are about to go.
1. Keep strokes to a minimum.
Alright Last one.....
Hospital Donation Clinics
A man and a woman meet in a hospital donation clinic.
The man says to the woman, "What are you here to give?"
She says, "I'm here to give blood. I get paid $5."
The man says, "Oh, I'm here to donate sperm, I get paid $25!" A couple of weeks later they meet again in the clinic.
The man says, "Hi there! Are you here to give blood again?"
The woman puffs her cheeks out and shakes her head.
Hospital Donation Clinics
A man and a woman meet in a hospital donation clinic.
The man says to the woman, "What are you here to give?"
She says, "I'm here to give blood. I get paid $5."
The man says, "Oh, I'm here to donate sperm, I get paid $25!" A couple of weeks later they meet again in the clinic.
The man says, "Hi there! Are you here to give blood again?"
The woman puffs her cheeks out and shakes her head.
T
The Shadow
Guest
treilin said:
..you are just jealous that a toddler came up with that
T
The Shadow
Guest
treilin said:
You arent a fan of British comedy are you?
T
The Shadow
Guest
I see.....you fit right in here
M
*MissFit*
Guest
I see dead people..
and i see then 20 minutes later..
running away?
Is this normal?
and i see then 20 minutes later..
running away?
Is this normal?
Adam's New Organs
One day God came to Adam and said, ''I've got some good news and some bad news."
''Well, give me the good news first.''
''I've got two new organs for you. One is called a brain. It will allow you to be very intelligent, create new things, and have wonderful conversations with Eve. The other organ I have for you is called a penis. It will allow you to reproduce your new intelligent life form and populate this planet.''
Adam, very excited, exclaimed, ''These are great gifts you have given to me. What could possibly be bad news after such great tidings?''
''The bad news is that when I created you, I only gave you enough blood to operate one of these organs at a time.''
Somebody Stoppppp ME
One day God came to Adam and said, ''I've got some good news and some bad news."
''Well, give me the good news first.''
''I've got two new organs for you. One is called a brain. It will allow you to be very intelligent, create new things, and have wonderful conversations with Eve. The other organ I have for you is called a penis. It will allow you to reproduce your new intelligent life form and populate this planet.''
Adam, very excited, exclaimed, ''These are great gifts you have given to me. What could possibly be bad news after such great tidings?''
''The bad news is that when I created you, I only gave you enough blood to operate one of these organs at a time.''
Somebody Stoppppp ME
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