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Blatant disrespect, what do you do?

silverbackn

silverbackn

New member
I was just curious as to how you guys and gals have handled people being openly disresptectful to you or someone you were with. I am a big boy at 6'1 240 and am not used to people running their mouths. I had a pretty bad experience the other night at a club with my girl. The club we go to is pre-dominantly black guys and hispanics. Some of you may already know this, but my fiance is half black and half white. She definitely does not look like a white girl though. We had been at a few other bars and no one had done anything blatant all night. We walk into this club and I'm one of about 3 white guys in there, I would say that about 80% of the guys we walk by are making comments and saying things about my girl that I can hear. They are standing around in big groups and know that they have me massively outnumbered. I am standing there while she is talking to this gay guy friend of hers and this group of guys standing behind me are making comments incessanty. By this point I am about to start crushing the punk ass cowards. I just walked away from all of it, but I was beyond furious. I think it pissed me off so bad because none of them would have done it if it was just one of them and one of me, apparently because I am white with an ethnic girl they feel like they can say anything to me. I just wanted some of your input on the situation.
 
I look at it like this:

a) you hang out in clubs, you GOTTA expect that. I would NEVER bring my girl to a club cause I know I would end up wanting to fight the whole crowd

b) while it is an overall disrespectful thing, these dudes don't know you from a hole in the wall. it's one thing if a friend disrespects you, but who gives a shit if it's a bunch of douchebag losers? I know, easier said than done.

c) I learned thru experience that fighting (in most cases) makes things MUCH worse. ever see your best friend in the hospital with a face so mashed up you can't even recognize him? or a cousin who got a bat taken to his head? not fun and not worth it. plain and simple.
 
silverbackn said:
I was just curious as to how you guys and gals have handled people being openly disresptectful to you or someone you were with. I am a big boy at 6'1 240 and am not used to people running their mouths. I had a pretty bad experience the other night at a club with my girl. The club we go to is pre-dominantly black guys and hispanics. Some of you may already know this, but my fiance is half black and half white. She definitely does not look like a white girl though. We had been at a few other bars and no one had done anything blatant all night. We walk into this club and I'm one of about 3 white guys in there, I would say that about 80% of the guys we walk by are making comments and saying things about my girl that I can hear. They are standing around in big groups and know that they have me massively outnumbered. I am standing there while she is talking to this gay guy friend of hers and this group of guys standing behind me are making comments incessanty. By this point I am about to start crushing the punk ass cowards. I just walked away from all of it, but I was beyond furious. I think it pissed me off so bad because none of them would have done it if it was just one of them and one of me, apparently because I am white with an ethnic girl they feel like they can say anything to me. I just wanted some of your input on the situation.
Click to expand...

In that particular situation, walk away Leave the club. They knew you were clearly out numbered and it wasn't in your best interest to say a word. Neither you nor your SO need to be subjected to such remarks or rudeness.

In a one on one situation, a fair playing ground.. I'd have had something to say. And I'm not shy at all about expressing myself no matter how big, small, race, sex..etc.

You did the right thing by just ignoring them, I hope that you don't subject your SO to that place again though.
 
Unfortunately, that will not be the last time someone feels the need to disrespect you or test you, if you are in an inter-racial relationship.

That happened to me two years ago with my ex. We were in VA Beach, and these guys were saying shit to me (sexual in nature) that I KNOW they would not have said if my boyfriend was black. I told him to just leave it alone, it wasn't worth it (also, you never know if someone is carrying a gun or whatever). In fact, someone got shot that night on the strip.

Another time, this other guy I was dating got tested. His car was towed and we went to the lot to get it. He's asking questions, and they basically were playing with him (i.e., you're car isn't here). He wasn't as aggressive, so I had to step in and curse a bit, etc., etc. then all of sudden they remembered they had his car. It was the only Acura there. :rolleyes:

People are going to give looks or say something slick. You just have to use good judgement as to when to step in and/or when to walk away.
 
silverbackn said:
I was just curious as to how you guys and gals have handled people being openly disresptectful to you or someone you were with. I am a big boy at 6'1 240 and am not used to people running their mouths. I had a pretty bad experience the other night at a club with my girl. The club we go to is pre-dominantly black guys and hispanics. Some of you may already know this, but my fiance is half black and half white. She definitely does not look like a white girl though. We had been at a few other bars and no one had done anything blatant all night. We walk into this club and I'm one of about 3 white guys in there, I would say that about 80% of the guys we walk by are making comments and saying things about my girl that I can hear. They are standing around in big groups and know that they have me massively outnumbered. I am standing there while she is talking to this gay guy friend of hers and this group of guys standing behind me are making comments incessanty. By this point I am about to start crushing the punk ass cowards. I just walked away from all of it, but I was beyond furious. I think it pissed me off so bad because none of them would have done it if it was just one of them and one of me, apparently because I am white with an ethnic girl they feel like they can say anything to me. I just wanted some of your input on the situation.
Click to expand...
i've been in the exact same situation (bc im korean and the girl was white).
Bc of it I got into a fight and got pwned by 3 guys and a bouncer (why the bouncer felt the need to fuck me up after the 3 guys did is beyond me)

another time I just walked away and laughed. Laughing at them pisses them off more.

Or sometimes I'll laugh and say something smart just to give them a small "fuck you"

For example: "Must suck that an asian is bigger than you"
"God I'm glad I'm rich" (but im not really but it pisses them off)
"I know it sucks I'm better looking than you---and I have small
eyes..."

the best way to get back at them is have everyone else around you in the club who heard or hears these things, laughing at them at the end. then walk away
 
silverbackn said:
I just walked away from all of it, but I was beyond furious.
As tough as it may have been you did the right thing. Unless harm to you or your fiancé is imminent, fighting is not worth it IMO... way too much to lose. Take it out in the gym.. much more productive. Just know that one on one you could destroy any one of those jerk offs, and that you left with the girl they were sweating.
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Click to expand...
 
When I was in HS, I used to get into fights from time to time about it. I never dated asian girls and usually dated either Jewish or British girls. As I got older, I just let it go. It's only words. Once, the girl left. I figured..bah...if she'll leave over that then who cares?

If you're going to fight, you might as well do it for something you care about (like someone endangering your family) and kill the bastard.
 
I think Ron White said it best. . ."I don't know how many of them it would have taken to whup my ass. But, I knew how many they were going to use."

What are you going to do? The world is a damn disrespectful place. . .it ain't easy but you can't dwell on shit like that or it will make you nuts. I know, I'm already half way there. :freak:

If you're going to go out and have fun, that kind of shit is going to happen from time-to-time. If you let it eat you up, then the assholes win.

Kudos to you for being color-blind!
 
You were the bigger man by far. I probably would have done the same thing, for some reason I'm not about to mess with black people - or mexican for that matter. They might be small, but 5+ of them isnt.

And if you love her its something you're willing to put up with. You're a big dude, you should have the satisfaction of knowing you could take anyone of them.
 
silverbackn said:
I was just curious as to how you guys and gals have handled people being openly disresptectful to you or someone you were with. I am a big boy at 6'1 240 and am not used to people running their mouths. I had a pretty bad experience the other night at a club with my girl. The club we go to is pre-dominantly black guys and hispanics. Some of you may already know this, but my fiance is half black and half white. She definitely does not look like a white girl though. We had been at a few other bars and no one had done anything blatant all night. We walk into this club and I'm one of about 3 white guys in there, I would say that about 80% of the guys we walk by are making comments and saying things about my girl that I can hear. They are standing around in big groups and know that they have me massively outnumbered. I am standing there while she is talking to this gay guy friend of hers and this group of guys standing behind me are making comments incessanty. By this point I am about to start crushing the punk ass cowards. I just walked away from all of it, but I was beyond furious. I think it pissed me off so bad because none of them would have done it if it was just one of them and one of me, apparently because I am white with an ethnic girl they feel like they can say anything to me. I just wanted some of your input on the situation.
Click to expand...

Congratulations. You've discovered non-whites are more racist than whites. Congrats.
 
I would want to run to my car for the tire iron and take it upside their head. But you did do the best thing bro. No sense in getting your ass kicked for some drunken assbags talking shit in numbers when they themselves know they wouldn't do shit alone.

K to you for being the bigger man!
 
hardrock said:
I would want to run to my car for the tire iron and take it upside their head. But you did do the best thing bro. No sense in getting your ass kicked for some drunken assbags talking shit in numbers when they themselves know they wouldn't do shit alone.

K to you for being the bigger man!
Click to expand...

White guy fighting black guy in a black guys club? Talk about stoopid.
 
Kakdiesel said:
i've been in the exact same situation (bc im korean and the girl was white).
Bc of it I got into a fight and got pwned by 3 guys and a bouncer (why the bouncer felt the need to fuck me up after the 3 guys did is beyond me)

another time I just walked away and laughed. Laughing at them pisses them off more.

Or sometimes I'll laugh and say something smart just to give them a small "fuck you"

For example: "Must suck that an asian is bigger than you"
"God I'm glad I'm rich" (but im not really but it pisses them off)
"I know it sucks I'm better looking than you---and I have small
eyes..."

the best way to get back at them is have everyone else around you in the club who heard or hears these things, laughing at them at the end. then walk away
Click to expand...
totally mindfucking, thats great ;)

i think the best thing to do is ignore them, look like youre REALLY comfortable in the club (relaxed bodylanguage, smiling, laughing, befriending random people next to you etc) and totally makeout with your girl

if you let yourself get drawn into that shit, youre going to lose. stay above it. you get in their eyes more that way anyway

i have to say though, the only time i was in that sort of position, i stepped up for a brawl. fortunately, all 6 of htem were just dickheads and not amped up for a brawl, and i walked away without throwing a shot...or copping 50 in the face ;)
 
Shit, I just pull out my cellphone and give the holla code, and the rest of the trailerpark be there quick as a flash to get my back.
 
silverbackn said:
I was just curious as to how you guys and gals have handled people being openly disresptectful to you or someone you were with. I am a big boy at 6'1 240 and am not used to people running their mouths. I had a pretty bad experience the other night at a club with my girl. The club we go to is pre-dominantly black guys and hispanics. Some of you may already know this, but my fiance is half black and half white. She definitely does not look like a white girl though. We had been at a few other bars and no one had done anything blatant all night. We walk into this club and I'm one of about 3 white guys in there, I would say that about 80% of the guys we walk by are making comments and saying things about my girl that I can hear. They are standing around in big groups and know that they have me massively outnumbered. I am standing there while she is talking to this gay guy friend of hers and this group of guys standing behind me are making comments incessanty. By this point I am about to start crushing the punk ass cowards. I just walked away from all of it, but I was beyond furious. I think it pissed me off so bad because none of them would have done it if it was just one of them and one of me, apparently because I am white with an ethnic girl they feel like they can say anything to me. I just wanted some of your input on the situation.
Click to expand...

I grew up with 2 Marine Corps parents...and they taught me one thing...walk away....just walk
 
Re-arrange hair, pashmina and bag in a single movement and walk away. But that is Freddie.

I always think that avoiding confrontation is the best policy, specially in a club. And I bet they were doing it to provoke you, because you were the one with the hot girl, and I am certain you make a dynamite couple!



silverbackn said:
I was just curious as to how you guys and gals have handled people being openly disresptectful to you or someone you were with. I am a big boy at 6'1 240 and am not used to people running their mouths. I had a pretty bad experience the other night at a club with my girl. The club we go to is pre-dominantly black guys and hispanics. Some of you may already know this, but my fiance is half black and half white. She definitely does not look like a white girl though. We had been at a few other bars and no one had done anything blatant all night. We walk into this club and I'm one of about 3 white guys in there, I would say that about 80% of the guys we walk by are making comments and saying things about my girl that I can hear. They are standing around in big groups and know that they have me massively outnumbered. I am standing there while she is talking to this gay guy friend of hers and this group of guys standing behind me are making comments incessanty. By this point I am about to start crushing the punk ass cowards. I just walked away from all of it, but I was beyond furious. I think it pissed me off so bad because none of them would have done it if it was just one of them and one of me, apparently because I am white with an ethnic girl they feel like they can say anything to me. I just wanted some of your input on the situation.
Click to expand...
 
I have to say that your description of events got me quite awake, though. All of those healthy boys, in speedos, provoking the only white guy in the place... Now that is just my mind running wild - who wears speedos to a club (anymore)???


silverbackn said:
I was just curious as to how you guys and gals have handled people being openly disresptectful to you or someone you were with. I am a big boy at 6'1 240 and am not used to people running their mouths. I had a pretty bad experience the other night at a club with my girl. The club we go to is pre-dominantly black guys and hispanics. Some of you may already know this, but my fiance is half black and half white. She definitely does not look like a white girl though. We had been at a few other bars and no one had done anything blatant all night. We walk into this club and I'm one of about 3 white guys in there, I would say that about 80% of the guys we walk by are making comments and saying things about my girl that I can hear. They are standing around in big groups and know that they have me massively outnumbered. I am standing there while she is talking to this gay guy friend of hers and this group of guys standing behind me are making comments incessanty. By this point I am about to start crushing the punk ass cowards. I just walked away from all of it, but I was beyond furious. I think it pissed me off so bad because none of them would have done it if it was just one of them and one of me, apparently because I am white with an ethnic girl they feel like they can say anything to me. I just wanted some of your input on the situation.
Click to expand...
 
It depends what is at stake that is how I deal with a disrespectful person. I am very selfsufficient and its easy for me to cut disrespectful people off from my life or somehow thinking about them is non existent. I must have an automatic mental mechanism which shuts off with people I do not like.

For example a cousin of mine was rude to many people including myself. Another cousin of mine brought up a subject about the rude cousin and for some weird reason I could not remember who he was talking about. I completely forgot about the rude cousin that I had to ask who on earth he was referring to. The look on his face was priceless and I was totally preplexed at the whole disrespectful cousin memory incident.
 
jackangel said:
should have been out of that club in 2 seconds anyhow.
Click to expand...

Why, that is a good point. I was never able to understand what attracts fights to a nightclub (in my time we called boite). I think it's the combination of booze, loud music and nearly naked girls (in my time they wore full evening gown, but I don't think any of you care).
 
you did fine
Sometimes the hardest thing is to walk away. Your gf wouldnt have wanted to see you get into a fight no matter what.
They could have had more than fists in their pockets too. You did good
 
I know the feeling and you did the right thing.

I attended a Seahwawks game when I lived in Tacoma. I was leaving the Kingdome with three of my kids, all under age 12, walking to the parking lot. Two drunks in front of me (twentysomething white guy and girl) tossed a beer bottle to the side of the road right in front of us. I said something to them about it, without raising my voice or freaking out, but letting them know they were out of line.

They started cussing, called me nigger, etc. I calmly responded then quickly crossed the street to get the kids out of earshot. I so wanted to beat both of their asses on the spot, and it would have been easy, but I had young kids with me near crazy traffic. Even after I put the kids in the car I considered chasing them down while the kids stayed put, but I knew it would be stupid. I was pissed but tried to concentrate on the fun time I was having that day.

When I got home and told my wife she was horrified, not because a couple of drunks ran off at the mouth but because she knows had she been with me I would have left the kids with her and gotten into an all-out brawl.
 
My view to any situation like this is that you only get one skin and to risk it on nothing is pointless. Imagine that these people in the club were a pack of three or four dogs growling and snarling at you in the street. Would you try to face down and fight a handful of dogs or hop over the wall and forget about them?

If you fight and lose you could die or be maimed or your GF could get hurt, if you fight and win you gain nothing and you and your GF could still get hurt. You don't know these people and might well never interact with them again. Unless you are forced to defend yourself, they are nothing to you. They are irrelevant.
 
I have the same problem with the hispanics, my girl is half hispanic/half croation and I've had to slap the shit outta quite a few mexicans.

little pussies scatter when you knock one the fuck out.
 
I feel for you bro...im in the same boat...im not in a interracial relationship but not to toot my own horn..my girl has a great body and a nice booty..whcih attracts allot of attention..and your always gonna run into ass clowns that have something to say..and if you notice its never a guy whos by himself..they always have a few people around...which says it all in my opinion...any man who has the brass to disrespect another man should be ready to deal with any of the consequences...but If its just me again 3-4 dudes..i just laugh and walk away...but if its an even number..then I always ask if they need something..and most times they just apologize with some lame ass exscuse...but occasionally you have to throw down...but you did the right thing if that makes you feel better...what goes around comes around...so take peace in knowing that no matter what happens...people always get whats coming to them...
 
Erzulie said:
In that particular situation, walk away Leave the club. They knew you were clearly out numbered and it wasn't in your best interest to say a word. Neither you nor your SO need to be subjected to such remarks or rudeness.

In a one on one situation, a fair playing ground.. I'd have had something to say. And I'm not shy at all about expressing myself no matter how big, small, race, sex..etc.

You did the right thing by just ignoring them, I hope that you don't subject your SO to that place again though.
Click to expand...


Well said. It's just Jealousy bro...ignore people like that.
 
God bless you bor. It takes a strong person to walk away. When you're in a situation when your girl could get hurt because of your actions, you just walk away.

I'm still trying to master the art of turning the other cheek. I'm not quite there, but I'm getting better. You're an inspiration bro :)

silverbackn said:
I was just curious as to how you guys and gals have handled people being openly disresptectful to you or someone you were with. I am a big boy at 6'1 240 and am not used to people running their mouths. I had a pretty bad experience the other night at a club with my girl. The club we go to is pre-dominantly black guys and hispanics. Some of you may already know this, but my fiance is half black and half white. She definitely does not look like a white girl though. We had been at a few other bars and no one had done anything blatant all night. We walk into this club and I'm one of about 3 white guys in there, I would say that about 80% of the guys we walk by are making comments and saying things about my girl that I can hear. They are standing around in big groups and know that they have me massively outnumbered. I am standing there while she is talking to this gay guy friend of hers and this group of guys standing behind me are making comments incessanty. By this point I am about to start crushing the punk ass cowards. I just walked away from all of it, but I was beyond furious. I think it pissed me off so bad because none of them would have done it if it was just one of them and one of me, apparently because I am white with an ethnic girl they feel like they can say anything to me. I just wanted some of your input on the situation.
Click to expand...
 
Bro, It's not worth it.....the last time I actually hit someone at a bar....it was actually 2 guys that were together...it cost me four years of felony probation........$2500.00 to get out of jail on the $25000.00 bond and $5200.00 dollars in attorney fees......and I have to register as a violent criminal......It sucked bro.....these guys started it,deseved it and then filed complaints.
 
The only guys who start fights in clubs are the guys that can't get any ass. You were getting some. No need to fight.
The situation sucks. Don't bring yourself down to that level. You have class, those guys don't. Know you are better than them. Your girl obviously does.
*If I am working at a club and pulling people off a pile I am not happy. If the person I am pulling off pushes me or resists I light them up. That is how a bouncer can get involved. That said. I am very mellow. You have a lot of moron bouncers who never get laid and want a tough guy reputation. They will take on the guy who has already been ruffed up. I hate working with those guys.

Walking away was the best thing you could have done all around!
 
You guys are all right, walking away was the smart thing to do. I didn't want to put my girl in danger either. I wasn't thinking very rationally at the time, I just wanted to crush someone before the crowd got me. I didn't want to end up on the local news though. My fiance said that her ex-husband (also a whitey like me) never had anybody act like that. I have seen him, he's a very unthreatening tall skinny nerdy looking guy. It was an eye opening situation for me to say the least.
 
Longhorn85 said:
I know the feeling and you did the right thing.

I attended a Seahwawks game when I lived in Tacoma. I was leaving the Kingdome with three of my kids, all under age 12, walking to the parking lot. Two drunks in front of me (twentysomething white guy and girl) tossed a beer bottle to the side of the road right in front of us. I said something to them about it, without raising my voice or freaking out, but letting them know they were out of line.

They started cussing, called me nigger, etc. I calmly responded then quickly crossed the street to get the kids out of earshot. I so wanted to beat both of their asses on the spot, and it would have been easy, but I had young kids with me near crazy traffic. Even after I put the kids in the car I considered chasing them down while the kids stayed put, but I knew it would be stupid. I was pissed but tried to concentrate on the fun time I was having that day.

When I got home and told my wife she was horrified, not because a couple of drunks ran off at the mouth but because she knows had she been with me I would have left the kids with her and gotten into an all-out brawl.
Click to expand...
That had to be brutal. I couldn't imagine having that happen with your kids by your side. I don't know how you kept it together, maybe the kids being there was a good thing. The world is full of ignorance and no one can change that. If you kill 2 idiots 2 more will pop up.
 
silverbackn said:
You guys are all right, walking away was the smart thing to do. I didn't want to put my girl in danger either. I wasn't thinking very rationally at the time, I just wanted to crush someone before the crowd got me. I didn't want to end up on the local news though. My fiance said that her ex-husband (also a whitey like me) never had anybody act like that. I have seen him, he's a very unthreatening tall skinny nerdy looking guy. It was an eye opening situation for me to say the least.
Click to expand...

Jealousy. An attractive & fit white guy stole one of their women. lol.
 
Bro, you did the right thing...Those guys are posing cause they don`t have and probably can`t get a female like yours to notice them...Its insecurity on their part, keep being the bigger man.Your woman will respect that...( just don`t let them get away with too much).....
 
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