Bad joke time...

[BileStew]

A woman was shopping at her local supermarket where she selected:

* a half-gallon of 2% milk

* a carton of eggs

* a quart of orange juice

* a head of romaine lettuce
* a 2 lb. can of coffee

* a 1 lb. package of bacon

She was unloading her items on the conveyor belt to check out, a drunk
standing behind her watched as she placed the items in front of the
cashier. While the cashier was ringing up her purchases, the drunk calmly
stated, "You must be single." The woman was a bit startled by this proclamation, but she was intrigued by the derelict's intuition, since she was indeed single. She looked at her six items on the belt and saw nothing particularly unusual about her selections that could have tipped off the drunk to her marital status. Curiosity getting the better of her, she said "Well, you know what, you're absolutely correct. But how on earth did you know that?

The drunk replied:

"Cause you're ugly."

 

[SoreArms]

LOL!

(I put it in capital letters and with an exclamation point just so you would know that I laughed a little harder than a regular lol would imply)

 

[superqt4u2nv]

 

[Becoming]

lol

 

[gab9681]

Three guys go out to the bar and get really drunk. The all meet up the next morning for breakfast and the first guy says "Oh man, I so wasted last night. I had the biggest hangover ever."

The second guy says "That's nothing man, I drank so much last night, I had the shits all morning and my stomach hurts like hell."

The third guy says "That's nothing. I got you both beat. I got so drunk last night that I was blowing chunks the whole night."

The first two guys say "Well that isn't that bad."

The third guy says "No, you don't understand, Chunks is my dog."

 

[from zero]

Heard that one before there Stewpot. On this very forum, in fact.


But, it's a good one. So you're not entirely gay.

 

[HumorMe]

A man placed some flowers on the grave of his dearly departed mother and started back toward his car when his attention was diverted to another man kneeling at a grave.
The man seemed to be praying with profound intensity and kept repeating, "Why did you have to die? Why did you have to die? Why did you have to die? Why did you have to die?"

The first man approached him and said, "Sir, I don't wish to interfere with your private grief, but this demonstration of pain is more than I've ever seen before. For whom do you mourn so deeply? A child? A parent?"

The mourner took a moment to collect himself, then replied... "My wife's first husband."

 

[BileStew]

Heard that one before there Stewpot. On this very forum, in fact.


But, it's a good one. So you're not entirely gay.

That's reassuring. I'll be able to sleep soundly tonight.

Thanks From Earwig