Why You Never Question a Drunk......

[beefcake28]

A woman was shopping at her local supermarket where she selected a half-gallon of 2% milk, a carton of eggs, a quart of orange juice, a head of romaine lettuce, a 2 lb. can of coffee, and a 1 lb. package of bacon.

As she was unloading her items on the conveyor belt to check out, a drunk standing behind her watched as she placed the items in front of he cashier.

While the cashier was ringing up her purchases, the drunk calmly stated, "You must be single."

The woman was a bit startled by his proclamation, but she was intrigued by the derelict's intuition, since she was indeed single.

She looked at her six items on the belt and saw nothing particularly unusual about her selections that could have tipped off the drunk to her marital status.

Curiosity getting the better of her, she said "Well, you know what, you're absolutely correct. But how on earth did you know that?"










The drunk replied, " 'Cause you're ugly."

 

[BUBBLES]

ohhh, that is cruel

 

[megamania500]

lol

A middle aged woman who just recovered from her latest plastic surgery was asking everyone how old they thought she was. She asked her mailman the question. He guessed, "Hmm, about 28." "Nope, i'm 43!" "Wow! You look great!" he said.
She asked the saleslady at the shoestore and got the same response.
She went to eat at Mcdonalds and she asked the kid behind the counter the same question. He guessed 27 and was also surprised when she revealed her real age. Later, after she was done eating, she left and asked the first man on the street she saw the same question.
"If you give me a blowjob, I'll tell you exactly how old you are." Hmmm, she thought, there's no way he can figure it out from that. So she agreed, and they snuck off to a corner in the alley where she proceeded to give him a hummer.
After they were done, she asked, "Well, how old am I, then?"
"Your 43."
"How the hell did you know that?" the woman said, flabbergasted.
As he zipped up his pants and started to walk away, he looked back and replied. "I was in line behind you at Mcdonalds!"