any help on a gift suggestion?

[HappyScrappy]

I need to get a gift for my bitch's father for Christmas.

I really have no clue what to get him and I'm open to suggestions.

She says that a nice port and some Cuban cigars would be something he'd like. But I think she gets that for him like every year, so I was hoping to do something different.

He is like 50 or so, plays a lot of golf, is pretty well to do, and is laid back.
He is a lot like, Frazier (Frasier?) were Frazier British.

So, I know XBox is out. And I don't think he'd want a whore.
I can't afford some fancy car.
He spends a lot of time travelling, and is in NYC a lot where his wife lives.

I considered getting him rounds of golf, but he belongs to clubs where he can play as much as he wants anyway - so a round to two on me wouldn't mean anything to him.

Or, if you just feel like making up some funny ideas, that's chill too.

 

[mylife]

how much are you looking to spend?

 

[Lao Tzu]

tell him his daughters boyfriend is chronically depressed and spends alot of time at an anabolic steroid chat board making up stories about humping dead animals.

 

[HappyScrappy]

mylife - good point, forgot. under $500.

nordstrum - EXCELLENT point. he is actually really cool and likely wouldn't care. and I'm more "clinically" depressed than I am chronically at this point. I feel great now though - best I've felt in 13 years. I wonder if the series of dnp I did sort of shocked my system back into normalcy when it finally settled down? probably not.

spatts - thanks! that is perfect! I can't get my own manhood done there, it is far too small. that reminds me of that artist that did that with all of the famous celeb penis..es. Hendrix supposedly had the thickest.

Darktooth - he already has it.

 

[Golfer18--old]

Give him your asshole like you give to every other male........

 

[flex123]

I'm probbly going to give my girlfriends parents a case of wine.

your gf's father sounds like a guy who would appreciate fine wine, no?

 

[HappyScrappy]

Men's spa package

Engraved business card holder

Car Detailing

Fantasy basball/football/racing weekend

ooo, the first is likely a very good choice. he likes to be pampered - I'll defintely write that down.

not sure he would use the biz card thing.

he currently lives in a country where the cars all suck - he wants a Jag for while in NYC, but doesn't like the current designs and is still finding the proper apartment (wants a water view). so that is maybe better next year once that is all settled.

The only sports he cars about are soccer and cricket. And golf.

the spa is a great idea! thanks

 

[Hannibal]

Start off by serenading him with, " Hey Mister....."

 

[mylife]

i golf all the time so i could help you there. i'd suggest getting him a new Scotty Cameron putter made by Titleist. it'll run you anywhere from 180-400 depending on which make and version you get. a new driver would be nice also. the only problem with both of those is you'd have to find out what his current set of clubs is like. (loft, shaft flex, etc.) if you could figure out that info i could give you some good ideas.

 

[HappyScrappy]

I haven't played golf with him yet. he is much better than I am, so I don't want to slow him down.
I have no idea about his clubs, but I know that he changes clubs every now and then and then gets all pissed because he isn't used to them and then goes back to what he knows.
so I'm not sure he would relish new stuff.

he is a good enough guy that he will "like" whatever I get him - but I would like to get something he will enjoy.
I think I will probably just run with the spa idea. can do a combo thing for both his wife and himself for a massage or something.

 

[Golfer18--old]

I haven't played golf with him yet. he is much better than I am, so I don't want to slow him down.
I have no idea about his clubs, but I know that he changes clubs every now and then and then gets all pissed because he isn't used to them and then goes back to what he knows.
so I'm not sure he would relish new stuff.

he is a good enough guy that he will "like" whatever I get him - but I would like to get something he will enjoy.
I think I will probably just run with the spa idea. can do a combo thing for both his wife and himself for a massage or something.

Whatever you get him, get him a dozen Titleist Pro V1's.

 

[HappyScrappy]

Whatever you get him, get him a dozen Titleist Pro V1's.

??
seriously - or is that a joke?
sorry, I'm not that into golf, so I don't know.
I'm blowing my load if I break 90.
This guy hits par all the time, so he kicks my ass.

are those like good balls or something? heh heh, I said balls.

 

[Golfer18--old]

??
seriously - or is that a joke?
sorry, I'm not that into golf, so I don't know.
I'm blowing my load if I break 90.
This guy hits par all the time, so he kicks my ass.

are those like good balls or something? heh heh, I said balls.

I know a lot about golfers and the "golf business. Damn that sounded gay. But anyway every Golfer wants these balls. They are in high demand. Get him some and he will think highly of you. They are pretty expensize. About 50$ for 12 of them. So roughly 4.25$ a ball.

 

[BBJ]

Whatever you get him, get him a dozen Titleist Pro V1's.

i think he's serious. the wine isn't a bad idea though. does this guy enjoy steaks at all? he sounds like he enjoys expensive things.

 

[HappyScrappy]

i think he's serious. the wine isn't a bad idea though. does this guy enjoy steaks at all? he sounds like he enjoys expensive things.

yeah, this guy is into expensive stuff. he's rich, at least compared to me. multi-millionaire or whatever, but also multiple ex-wives that get at that money too.
I think he likes meat - he seems to always get lamb whenever we go out.

and Golfer - thanks - I'll definitely pick those up and add it to whatever it is. Maybe he'll think I'm current on golf
(although I did recently fix my killer slice, so now I can play fairly well again - I need to practice getting out of the sand, that seems to be my worst area now that my slice is gone).

 

[BBJ]

I know a lot about golfers and the "golf business. Damn that sounded gay. But anyway every Golfer wants these balls. They are in high demand. Get him some and he will think highly of you. They are pretty expensize. About 50$ for 12 of them. So roughly 4.25$ a ball.

Damn. you were quicker than me.

 

[Golfer18--old]

yeah, this guy is into expensive stuff. he's rich, at least compared to me. multi-millionaire or whatever, but also multiple ex-wives that get at that money too.
I think he likes meat - he seems to always get lamb whenever we go out.

and Golfer - thanks - I'll definitely pick those up and add it to whatever it is. Maybe he'll think I'm current on golf
(although I did recently fix my killer slice, so now I can play fairly well again - I need to practice getting out of the sand, that seems to be my worst area now that my slice is gone).

Get him that. Don't decelarate in the sand. Number thing not to do.

 

[Testosterone boy]

I'm pretty well screwed with women, bad judgement I guess. I've had nothing but awful luck with these gifts to their dads:

Porno of girl and me...never mattered what position or technique was employed. I even customized one and we said "Thanks dad" at the end. Dude had NO sense of humor.

Strippers didn't work either, guess we should have arranged to get their wife away for the day?

Hookers? Even worse....ditto for the wife thing I guess.

Marijuana joints? Never mattered how good of quality the shit was.

Oh shit....the memories are too painful. I gotta go.

Oh yea....the horse porno didn't work either. Never learned about the wife thing.

 

[HappyScrappy]

Get him that. Don't decelarate in the sand. Number thing not to do.

LOL
I thought that said "defecate" and I was thinking I had that under control.

yeah - I just need more practice with the sand stuff... or at least practice doing it correctly.
I've learned that no matter how much I yell and swear, that doesn't help me get out of the sand.

 

[Testosterone boy]

I'm pretty well screwed with women, bad judgement I guess. I've had nothing but awful luck with these gifts to their dads:

Porno of girl and me...never mattered what position or technique was employed. I even customized one and we said "Thanks dad" at the end. Dude had NO sense of humor.

Strippers didn't work either, guess we should have arranged to get their wife away for the day?

Hookers? Even worse....ditto for the wife thing I guess.

Marijuana joints? Never mattered how good of quality the shit was.

Oh shit....the memories are too painful. I gotta go.

Oh yea....the horse porno didn't work either. Never learned about the wife thing.

Was my sense of humor as bad as I thought it was? Good night everyone.

 

[HappyScrappy]

What about a digital micro recorder...what line of work is he in?

He actually isn't much on the digital side of things. He owns an investment bank and largely caters to dudes with lots of money that don't use computers.
I am hoping to talking him into letting me expand his company over to include a more digital side of things so that his company can survive as his current customers die off.

on a side note, I kinda spaced as to where I was right now and farted really loudly.
I'm classy.

 

[Ffactor]

$500 is wayyyyy too much to spend on him. I'd say get him a beard, moustache and nosie hair trimmer for $19.99 from sharper image. With the balance order a high class hooker. Do you think he would consider doing a threesome with you?

 

[Lao Tzu]

Do you think he would consider doing a threesome with you?

"daddy & me, plus scrappy makes 3"

 

[spentagn]

Show him you care, get him a grand kid.

 

[HappyScrappy]

the last 3 on here have been really Nathan ideas.