Another day in the life...

[HappyScrappy]

"So I was sitting in my cubicle today, and I realized, ever since I started working, every single day of my life has been worse than the day before it. So that means that every single day that you see me, that's on the worst day of my life."

That is a nice explanation of my work world. It could be worse, I could have to wake up in a bed full of broken glass after a night of sucking the syphilis infected cocks of dying midget lepers and then bathe the elderly homeless people of our nation. After that I might have to go into a railroad tanker car that used to haul caustic materials and hand wash it with nothing more than a bucket of soapy water, a sponge from my own kitchen sink, and a jock strap. Or maybe I'd be the guy that has to stick his hand, shoulder deep, into some large animal's ass just to see if there is an object lodged in there that is causing discomfort to the beast... hmmm, well, on second guess - that last one isn't so bad.

I came back in from a lunch outside at a picnic table in the beautiful summer day that is this June 18th and I walked back to my cube. The room is cramped and stuffy, and the heat that pours from our faulty ventilation duct is oppressive. Fortunately they allow me to wear my light linen shorts that give me a bit of comfort, but unfortunately on my way back to my desk, my manager saw me.
He called me into his office and told me that the assignment that was due today, the one that he stressed, in a most redundant manner, was very urgent and needed to be done right away. The one that all week I had been trying to figure out what the hell I was supposed to be doing on it, because I had no requirements. Well, he now sees that there need to be more requirements given to me before I can work on it. Hmm, that sounds similar to what I had been saying to him for the past week. I suppose it takes time for it to sink in. So in the mean time he is giving me another super important assignment that is even more important and needs to be done even faster. But he won't tell me what it is yet. Must be part of a secret plan. I sat here staring at an XML document, trying to figure out how I could manipulate the data to allow for multiple connections when before it assumed solely site-to-site... and all I wanted was to be dancing naked through fields of lilacs and butterflies, my cares long behind me and my smile a foot wide as I dance and dance and dance.

Anyway, the usual conclusion is the following two things:
1) I wish I were rich
2) never trust a monkey

blah blah blah

that was my official "waste of space" for the day.

carry on

 

[frorider6]

"So I was sitting in my cubicle today, and I realized, ever since I started working, every single day of my life has been worse than the day before it. So that means that every single day that you see me, that's on the worst day of my life."

... The one that all week I had been trying to figure out what the hell I was supposed to be doing on it, because I had no requirements.

Anyway, the usual conclusion is the following two things:
1) I wish I were rich
2) never trust a monkey

Exactly why I seek an escape from my cubicle hell.

I also wish I was rich.

Maybe the Army will let me kill a few of those damn dirty apes!

 

[Citruscide]

Wow, that sounds about my job that I basically walked out on. My boss would ask me for something, I'd give it to him and then a week later he'd ask me where it was... I would tell him "I gave it to you last week" and he would say "Hey, you have to keep the stuff, I'll just lose it"... and this is my fault?

I hear you happy. I'm in "between" jobs again, I wish I had a paycheck coming in, but I'm BEYOND happy I left that crap ass job.

C

 

[WODIN]

Just imagine yourself as a member of The Wiggles. Your popular, you have gadds of cash yet you have to convince women that your not gay, if your not, to get laid. Then if you are a gay Wiggle I would think your problems are even worse because no self respecting gay man, I would think, would want to be caught dead with a Wiggle.

All in all...you have it made lilac boy!

 

[HappyScrappy]

I have applied to 16 jobs in the past week+ and had one interview. hopefully this shit will pick up.

my coworker and gympartner went though crap recently with the manager. the manager was like "you need to get our stuff to interface with this billing system and you have one week, I will forward you some emails"
he then forwarded a thread of discussions between the one guy here that had worked on it (whom they have laid off), and the guy at the company that makes this product. they were basically discussing many many issues that came up just to LOGIN!!!
there were attached documents that never made it to this forward, and all of the work this guy did is now lost - nobody can find it, so he likely deleted it when he heard he was laid off.
so they have no server to talk to, no idea of the APIs, and it took the guy 1 month to get as far as he did.
so they told my coworker that he needed to get it all working and faster since he is picking up from where the other guy left off.
finally after many uncomfortable yelling sessions on his part, they saw the error of their ways.

now they want to try to bring back the guy that they laid off for 3 days and have him get it working and then probably pass it off to my coworker.

abso-fucking-lutely brilliant.

still no work on my new assignment, so until then, I will sit here and write random code just to keep myself occupied.
I have personal projects I'd like to work on, but they are on my laptop, which is at home... doh!

 

[Lestat]

Dude I'm a data warehouse architect but I'm stuck doing regression testing for Windoze XP this week! Trust me, its worse!

 

[HappyScrappy]

I'm a pretty good programmer, but they give us zero description at all of what we are supposed to do. at best you get some buzzwords and no requirements. I learned not to question it or my manager will come over and tell me that I need to open the email that he sent me. he then runs his finger over my screen and follows what he wrote, reading - if I still don't get it, then he does it again louder. The problem isn't that I don't know how to read, it is that I don't know what the fuck they want as the end result.
it is like saying that you want a house built, but you don't have any blueprints. so the builders know they will probably need some wood... but they aren't sure how much, and they think there will probably be paint, but they don't know what color or how much, etc etc.

or my coworkers and I are like sportscars but the management doesn't know how to steer. So they are constantly getting in, firing up the engine, and flooring it and then wondering why they keep running into stuff. so they scrap a few of the sports cars and lease a few more and then still wonder why all sports cars crash so easily.

 

[WODIN]

You could have this sales job......

A Dutch livestock-breeding-device manufacturer recently began selling a $27 vibrator that supposedly relaxes sows during artificial insemination to increase the chances of fertilization. Said the sales manager at the company Schippers Bladel BV, "Once the vibrator is inserted, the pig's ears will go up and she will stand ready to be serviced." The company also makes a remote-controlled plastic pig whose movements, mating sounds and scents supposedly encourage the sow to be serviced.

 

[smallmovesal]

here ya go:

ID: 1173042786 Date Posted: 06/14/02
Bike Messenger
Dependable Bike Messenger for Busy Year'Round Downtown Delivery Service. Ability to read maps, negotiate traffic safely and find your way in Boston/Back bay/ Cambridge areas. Part & Full time available. Earn top Commisions!
Contact [email protected]

 

[Diesel3d]

I'm a pretty good programmer, but they give us zero description at all of what we are supposed to do. at best you get some buzzwords and no requirements. I learned not to question it or my manager will come over and tell me that I need to open the email that he sent me. he then runs his finger over my screen and follows what he wrote, reading - if I still don't get it, then he does it again louder. The problem isn't that I don't know how to read, it is that I don't know what the fuck they want as the end result.
it is like saying that you want a house built, but you don't have any blueprints. so the builders know they will probably need some wood... but they aren't sure how much, and they think there will probably be paint, but they don't know what color or how much, etc etc.

or my coworkers and I are like sportscars but the management doesn't know how to steer. So they are constantly getting in, firing up the engine, and flooring it and then wondering why they keep running into stuff. so they scrap a few of the sports cars and lease a few more and then still wonder why all sports cars crash so easily.

I thought this only went on in my department LOL. I figured the development team had shit a 100 times more professional.

Well this is absolutely incredible… Do you have any idea how many times they would need an image from me and send me an email that was basically a thread of people talking? I guess I was meant to take the clues from the conversation and make an image. LOL

Thank god I got laid off.

I love my new job ::

8:00 gym
9:00 Bewitched + shake
9:30 i dream of jeannie
10:00 home improvement
10:30 shower
11:00 meal
11:15-12:00 fuck around on net
2:00 meal
2-3 continue to fuck around
4:00 meal
4-5 continue to fuck around
5:30 Cardio
6:30 meal
7-10 fuck around ( maybe get out and go somewhere )
10:30-12 fuck around and fall asleep sometime

 

[Lestat]

At my company more work goes into Tech Specs and documentation then anything.. At times there seems like there is more emphasis on that then even on the final product! I hate writing tech specs though.. but I love it when I'm given a project with an awesomely written spec.

 

[TheProject]

"So I was sitting in my cubicle today, and I realized, ever since I started working, every single day of my life has been worse than the day before it. So that means that every single day that you see me, that's on the worst day of my life."

That is a nice explanation of my work world. It could be worse, I could have to wake up in a bed full of broken glass after a night of sucking the syphilis infected cocks of dying midget lepers and then bathe the elderly homeless people of our nation. After that I might have to go into a railroad tanker car that used to haul caustic materials and hand wash it with nothing more than a bucket of soapy water, a sponge from my own kitchen sink, and a jock strap. Or maybe I'd be the guy that has to stick his hand, shoulder deep, into some large animal's ass just to see if there is an object lodged in there that is causing discomfort to the beast... hmmm, well, on second guess - that last one isn't so bad.

I came back in from a lunch outside at a picnic table in the beautiful summer day that is this June 18th and I walked back to my cube. The room is cramped and stuffy, and the heat that pours from our faulty ventilation duct is oppressive. Fortunately they allow me to wear my light linen shorts that give me a bit of comfort, but unfortunately on my way back to my desk, my manager saw me.
He called me into his office and told me that the assignment that was due today, the one that he stressed, in a most redundant manner, was very urgent and needed to be done right away. The one that all week I had been trying to figure out what the hell I was supposed to be doing on it, because I had no requirements. Well, he now sees that there need to be more requirements given to me before I can work on it. Hmm, that sounds similar to what I had been saying to him for the past week. I suppose it takes time for it to sink in. So in the mean time he is giving me another super important assignment that is even more important and needs to be done even faster. But he won't tell me what it is yet. Must be part of a secret plan. I sat here staring at an XML document, trying to figure out how I could manipulate the data to allow for multiple connections when before it assumed solely site-to-site... and all I wanted was to be dancing naked through fields of lilacs and butterflies, my cares long behind me and my smile a foot wide as I dance and dance and dance.

Anyway, the usual conclusion is the following two things:
1) I wish I were rich
2) never trust a monkey

blah blah blah

that was my official "waste of space" for the day.

carry on

Hi, my name is Bingo, I like to climb on things. Can I have a banana? Eek eek.

 

[HappyScrappy]

here ya go:

ID: 1173042786 Date Posted: 06/14/02
Bike Messenger
Dependable Bike Messenger for Busy Year'Round Downtown Delivery Service. Ability to read maps, negotiate traffic safely and find your way in Boston/Back bay/ Cambridge areas. Part & Full time available. Earn top Commisions!
Contact [email protected]

one of my friends has a job like this - not sure if it is with this company. the bike messengers are hard core.

and D3D - yeah, this whole place is like that. it is the retarded leading the blind here.

 

[smallmovesal]

I thought this only went on in my department LOL. I figured the development team had shit a 100 times more professional.

Well this is absolutely incredible… Do you have any idea how many times they would need an image from me and send me an email that was basically a thread of people talking? I guess I was meant to take the clues from the conversation and make an image. LOL

Thank god I got laid off.

I love my new job ::

8:00 gym
9:00 Bewitched + shake
9:30 i dream of jeannie
10:00 home improvement
10:30 shower
11:00 meal
11:15-12:00 fuck around on net
2:00 meal
2-3 continue to fuck around
4:00 meal
4-5 continue to fuck around
5:30 Cardio
6:30 meal
7-10 fuck around ( maybe get out and go somewhere )
10:30-12 fuck around and fall asleep sometime

well, stop doing that and check your email.

you're going to love me!

 

[the nature boy]

"So I was sitting in my cubicle today, and I realized, ever since I started working, every single day of my life has been worse than the day before it. So that means that every single day that you see me, that's on the worst day of my life."

That is a nice explanation of my work world. It could be worse, I could have to wake up in a bed full of broken glass after a night of sucking the syphilis infected cocks of dying midget lepers and then bathe the elderly homeless people of our nation. After that I might have to go into a railroad tanker car that used to haul caustic materials and hand wash it with nothing more than a bucket of soapy water, a sponge from my own kitchen sink, and a jock strap. Or maybe I'd be the guy that has to stick his hand, shoulder deep, into some large animal's ass just to see if there is an object lodged in there that is causing discomfort to the beast... hmmm, well, on second guess - that last one isn't so bad.

I came back in from a lunch outside at a picnic table in the beautiful summer day that is this June 18th and I walked back to my cube. The room is cramped and stuffy, and the heat that pours from our faulty ventilation duct is oppressive. Fortunately they allow me to wear my light linen shorts that give me a bit of comfort, but unfortunately on my way back to my desk, my manager saw me.
He called me into his office and told me that the assignment that was due today, the one that he stressed, in a most redundant manner, was very urgent and needed to be done right away. The one that all week I had been trying to figure out what the hell I was supposed to be doing on it, because I had no requirements. Well, he now sees that there need to be more requirements given to me before I can work on it. Hmm, that sounds similar to what I had been saying to him for the past week. I suppose it takes time for it to sink in. So in the mean time he is giving me another super important assignment that is even more important and needs to be done even faster. But he won't tell me what it is yet. Must be part of a secret plan. I sat here staring at an XML document, trying to figure out how I could manipulate the data to allow for multiple connections when before it assumed solely site-to-site... and all I wanted was to be dancing naked through fields of lilacs and butterflies, my cares long behind me and my smile a foot wide as I dance and dance and dance.

Anyway, the usual conclusion is the following two things:
1) I wish I were rich
2) never trust a monkey

blah blah blah

that was my official "waste of space" for the day.

carry on

HS said the exact same thing to me when we went to dinner. Verbatim. Except his tone was like that of Marlon Brando's in Apocolypse Now. Fascinating.

 

[the nature boy]

I read the news today oh boy
About a lucky man who made the grade
And though the news was rather sad
Well I just had to laugh
I saw the photograph.
He blew his mind out in a car
He didn't notice that the lights have changed
A crowd of people stood and stared
They'd seen his face before
Nobody was really sure
If he was from the House of Lords.
I saw a film today oh boy
The English Army had just won the war
A crowd of people turned away
But I just had to look
Having read the book
I'd love to turn you on.

Woke up, fell out of bed,
Dragged my comb across my head
Found my way downstairs and drank a cup,
And looking up I noticed I was late.
Found my coat and grabbed my hat
Made the bus in seconds flat
Found my way upstairs and had a smoke,
Somebody spoke and I went into a dream.

I read the news today oh boy
Four thousand holes in Blackburn, Lancashire
And though the holes were rather small
They had to count them all
Now they know how many holes it takes to fill the Albert Hall.
I'd love to turn you on

 

[satanic goatslayer]

I'm going to need you to go ahead and wrap a plastic bag around your manager's head, then maybe shank him in the neck with a pencil. That would be great.

 

[addickt]

I'm going to need you to go ahead and wrap a plastic bag around your manager's head, then maybe shank him in the neck with a pencil. That would be great.

I bet that bitch in your avatar can suck pretty good dick SG.

Who needs a job when you got a toothless dick sucking concubine anyways?

 

[Y_lifter]

As the Skipper would say... "Chin up Little Buddy"
Feel proud that thanks to you My Daughter is enjoying Roller Coaster Tycoon tonight....
Win2K Service Pack 2 and DirectX 8.1...
WHO'S THE MAN !!! Huh? WHO'S THE MAN ???

As an IT Program Mgr, I will not accept to run a project without 3 things clearly laid out first to start.
*Clear Requirements
*Cost
*Schedule
Without them it will surely fail.

Keep looking because the jobs are out there...
Here are a couple of interesting ones I know are in the $60K + range.
I can get you the Salaries........

Here's the one I would want..... ALOHA !
Requisition Number: 92749
Job Title: COMPUTER SYSTEMS ANALYST V
Specific Description
Senior Systems Programmer and Application developer with in-depth knowledge in current web technologies (ColdFusion, Perl, JavaScript, HTML, Dynamic HTML, XML, XSL) to work as part of a team to develop and maintain web content dissemination systems. Tasks include providing technical recommendations for new tools to assist in the web responsibilities and administration to include web monitoring, web mirroring, software versioning control, and web application testing.Develop and maintain CGI scripts which access a Sybase Database.Enhance and maintain a Sybase Database containing over 50,000 metadata documents for customer's production.Provide administrative support for three classified UNIX web servers.
Provide recommendations to government for future growth and improvements in the web content management and delivery systems.

Normally requires an accredited Bachelor's Degree in a related discipline such as Computer Science or Information Technology with a minimum of 9 years related professional level experience.

A Top Secret security clearance or the ability to obtain a security clearance is required.

General Position Description
Please See Specific Job Description

Typical Minimum Education
Please See Specific Job Description
Typical Minimum Experience
Please See Specific Job Description


Business Unit: TECHNICAL OPERATIONS
Business Area: TECHNOLOGY SERVICES
Job Class: Information Technology
Job Designation: EXPERIENCED PROFESSIONAL
Location: Pearl Harbor, HI
Department: JIC Prime III Program Manager
Relocation: NO
Clearance Required: TOP SECRET
Work Week: M-F
Requisition Type: FULL-TIME
Direct/Indirect: DIRECT
Work Shift: First

*****************************************
*****************************************

Baltimore...
*
Requisition Number: 109586
Job Title: APPLIC SOFTWARE ENGINEER IV
Specific Description
Required Qualifications:

Bachelors Degree in Information Systems, Computer Science, or related field (may be offset with significant experience).

2+ Years Experience in Delivering Web-based IT Solutions (practical on the job exp. in Web related development is a must)

Must have Java development background (need to be very solid here).

Knowledge of J2EE architectural concepts.

Entire Software Life Cycle exposure

Microsoft Project, Word, Excel, Outlook

Process Oriented and Well Organized

Excellent Oral and Written Communications Skills.

Desired Qualifications:

IBM WebSphere / Visual Age for Java

Knowledge of XML

Object Oriented Software Engineering / Object Oriented Analysis and Design

Knowledge of Iterative life-cycles such as: the Unified Process (UP), the Unified Development Process (UDP), or the Rational Unified Process (RUP)

Quality Assurance/Quality Control

Capability Maturity Model (CMM / CMMI)

Unified Modeling Language (UML) Exposure

High-intensity and Results Driven

Responsibilities:

Software development.

Requires excellent oral and written communication skills.

SSA Labor Category = Web Software Developer Level 2/3 - WSD3/4
General Position Description
Performs requirements analysis, design, development, testing and documentation of software applications in support of research, engineering and other technical endeavors by military, business, education, government, etc. Implements software systems encompassing developed computer programs, re-used/re-engineered/re-hosted code and/or commercial off the shelf software products. Applies knowledge of computer systems and processes, technical and/or scientific subject matter and input from various users as necessary to design, implement and test software programs and systems. Performs analysis of allocated functional and supporting systems requirements to devise product integration and test plans, operations and maintenance procedures and documentation for delivered software. Analyzes systems capabilities to resolve questions of design intent, output requirements, input data acquisition, and software/system performance and to investigate and correct software errors discovered during qualifications testing. Employs development methodology to maintain the integrity of single or multiple requirements and design baselines while assessing and incorporating the impact(s) of requested changes in functionality.
Typical Minimum Education
Please See Specific Job Description
Typical Minimum Experience
Please See Specific Job Description

Business Unit: INFORMATION TECHNOLOGY
Business Area: TECHNOLOGY SERVICES
Job Class: Information Technology
Job Designation: EXPERIENCED PROFESSIONAL
Location: Baltimore, MD
Department: (HHS) SSA
Relocation: NO
Clearance Required: NONE
Work Week: M-F
Requisition Type: FULL-TIME
Direct/Indirect: DIRECT
Work Shift: First
****************************************
****************
********

Arlington VIRGINIA
Requisition Number: 86817
Job Title: DATABASE ADMINISTRATION V
Specific Description
Oracle Database Administrator supporting enterprise critical production databases on Unix is required. and experience supporting the Oracle development and reporting tools such as, Oracle Developer, Oracle Forms, Oracle Reports, or Oracle Discoverer.

Required:
Complete understanding and application of principles, concepts, practices, and standards. Ability to gather, analyze and define system requirements. Full knowledge of industry practices. Develops solutions to a variety of complex problems. May refer to established precedents and policies. Plans schedules and arranges own activities in accomplishing objectives. Work is reviewed upon completion for adequacy in meeting objectives. Exerts some influence on the overrall objectives and longe-range goals of the organization. Adhere to corporate development standards and ensure code is maintainable and suitable for reuse. Develop custom applications and integration mechanisms. Execute performance tuning tasks. Submit trouble shooting reports and maintain structured backup and recovery plan. Maintain a detailed technical knowledge of Oracle core application. Erroneous decisions or failure to achieve objectives would normally have a serious effect upon the administration of the organization. Represents organization/company as a prime contact on contracts or projects. Interacts with senior internal and external personnel on significant matters often requiring coordination between organizations.

Minimum requirements: Experience in Oracle version 8.x; some experience administering a multi-threading network; basic skills of exporting, importing and restoring databases, specifically restoring data to corrupted databases. Experience with Oracle development tools (PL/SQL, SQL*Loader, Reports, Discoverer, etc.) Experience using Java, HTML, and/or other web based tools. Ability to create solutions for critical technical problems within required time frames, programming experience with either Perl, C++ or Java. A Bachelor's degree in Computer Science, Engineering or related field or comparable experience of 6 - 9 years.

Desired: Excellent analytical skills. Oral and written communication skills. Experience in full life cycle implementation of complex business applications. Experience with Oracle development tools (PL/SQL, SQL*Loader, Reports, Discoverer). Experience using Java, HTML, and other web based tools. Oracle application a plus.

*Applicant selected will be subject to a government security investigation and must meet eligibility requirements for access to classified information.
General Position Description
Plans and coordinates the administration of computerized databases, including relational databases, to ensure accurate, appropriate, and effective use of data, including database definition, structure, documentation, long-range requirements, and operational guidelines. May understand and have knowledge of underlying data and applications. Performs quality control audits to ensure accuracy, completeness, and proper usage of data in tables and various support tools, such as database dictionaries. Reviews database design and integration of systems, including client/servers, mainframes, etc., and makes recommendations regarding enhancements and/or improvements. May establish and maintain security and integrity controls. Provides appropriate consulting, interfacing, and training for information systems users. Formulates policies, procedures, and standards relating to database management, and monitors transaction activity and utilization. Prepares and/or reviews activity, progress, and performance reports.
Typical Minimum Education
Please See Specific Job Description
Typical Minimum Experience
Please See Specific Job Description


Business Unit: INFORMATION TECHNOLOGY
Business Area: TECHNOLOGY SERVICES
Job Class: Information Technology
Job Designation: EXPERIENCED PROFESSIONAL
Location: Arlington, VA
Department: (DoDS) NISA-P
Relocation: NO
Clearance Required: SECRET
Work Week: M-F
Requisition Type: FULL-TIME
Direct/Indirect: DIRECT
Work Shift: First
********
********
********

 

[Freak Show]

Still looking for a new job sweetie? I have two words for you:GAY PORN

In all seriousness, have you seen my stapler?

 

[HappyScrappy]

thanks YLifter - and I'm glad you got that computer working again for your daughter
the downside is that I can't move - I'm "stuck" here in Boston. I'm apply to stuff and just not hearing back.
I'm also curious if I'm getting ignored since I'm still at a job, or because of my skills. it makes some kind of strange sense that if you are riding in a lifeboat in troubled waters, you are gonna pull out the drowning people from that water and pay less attention to those still on the sinking ship. also the drowning people will work for less if you pull them out

I've applied to 4 that would be dream jobs for me, but they likely pay less, and then 21 others that pay what I make now ($80K+), but either way, only one job has called back.

in a new turn of events, my manager called me in yesterday and gave me what appeared to be a clear cut assignment. I just had to read in some XML from a file, treat one value as a boolean, and then either execute existing code or not (basically turning on and off "demo-mode") - should be easy as hell and he gave me a day and a half. the problem of course being that he doesn't know anything at all about Java apparently and doesn't get that reading from a file on a deployed app server is not as easy as he thinks... ugh. now to write the email to try to explain it to him, and then have him tell me that I'm wrong, even though I have 4 engineers to back me up.

hand me that gun there would you? thanks.

 

[Y_lifter]

I like the Titanic analogy. I'll have to use that when referring to some of the slackers in my group.
They need to be tossed overboard so someone else can pick them up.

What I love about my job is that I rarely get told how to get something done.
They just give me an End Goal and a few people to Flog into shape.

I make sure no meetings are Scheduled that interfere with my side job as a Cardio Chronic
and part time goat herder.
I Schedule the meeting. Occasionally my boss asks for a status and I put together some B.S.
Slides and have a telecon or Smooze-A-thon.

I understand the reluctance to move.
Whenever I mention a great job offer within the company in Denver, my wife say "Have a nice trip Man"...

 

[HappyScrappy]

yeah, I am moving into a new apartment this weekend and my GF would be really not psyched if I then moved away, not to mention the landlord since I can't sublet.

 

[Y_lifter]

Bwahahahaha ... I just thunk a funny...

Honey dear, I'll help you move if you'll help me move..

Ha ha ha ... Owww I hurt a rib on that one...