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Alumni News

HappyScrappy

New member
I got an e-mail from the chick in charge of our alumni news for my class. People always write in that they are doctors now and how great their life is - so I just make up horrible stories of drug addiction and selling myself on the streets to get by.
I figure that's far more entertaining than hearing about one more rich kid joining the peace corps.
In the years since I've graduated, the closest they've ever come to printing anything about me was that I was sending stuff too offensive for print, but that I was out there.

Here is my most recent submission (the girl in charge of all of this has been out of the country for a few months, so this is the first one she is taking charge of now that she is back, so I figured I'd just sort of touch base to see how she is doing).


-----------------------------------------------------------

Date: Fri, 22 Nov 2002 11:37:53 -0500 (EST)
From: HappyScrappy <[email protected]>
To: TheChickWeWriteTo <[email protected]>
Subject: Re: class notes

I have nothing to report.
I've still got that job as a janitor in New Mexico. The kids throw things
at me, but I'm just glad to be off of drugs and out of prison - especially
in this economy.
I've learned a lot about life and love in this past year, and also I
learned how to swim.

these are things that you can't always pick up in college, what with the
heavy drinking and all, so I'm thankful for it all.

the crabs are all cleared up, the docs tell me that what they thought was
leprocy was really just a mistake and I should shower more. from what I
gather, the herpes is here to stay, but the open sores do leave a reminder
(albeit a painful one) of the friends I made while hitchiking across the
south west while avoiding the DEA.

I've also found salvation through religion. I worhsip the sun god ra and
sacrafice the homeless every other full moon in order to prevent
earthquakes.
and knitting. I knit. mostly hats out of discarded shoelaces and dirt.
lots of brown hats. I'm thinking of selling them on eBay - but I am not
entirely sure that I'm not still banned from there after attempting to
sell off all of my redundant organs in exchange for Ninetendo games.

you know, same old, same old.

Yours in sport, life, and friendship forever,

Enrico Pullatzo, Class of '99
 
sounds like my e-mail to my alumni's class president... i made up a huge story about touring europe as a drag queen under the name Britney Queers... funny thing is it was so over the top and he wrote back and asked me if it was for real and said it would just be between him and i... fucking brainiac is a doctor now too... geez.
 
during the tech boom I went back to a homecoming and told everyone that I was a truck driver. they all gave me a polite nod and tried to do what they could with the conversation.

it usually ended up with me arguing with them over the feasibility of an interstate between Cuba and Michigan (the route that I drove - the move lucrative one).

all part of my way of getting people to avoid me.
 
I gave a different story to everyone at my reunion actually... personally i like the phone sex operator story because my cell rang and i answered it "Rocco Rock here what's your fanatasy?" The looks were great and my friend was just like WTF and said he must have the wrong number.
 
HappyScrappy said:
during the tech boom I went back to a homecoming and told everyone that I was a truck driver. they all gave me a polite nod and tried to do what they could with the conversation.

it usually ended up with me arguing with them over the feasibility of an interstate between Cuba and Michigan (the route that I drove - the move lucrative one).

all part of my way of getting people to avoid me.

You're a truck driver? Cool! What kind of CB?
 
HappyScrappy said:
I got an e-mail from the chick in charge of our alumni news for my class. People always write in that they are doctors now and how great their life is - so I just make up horrible stories of drug addiction and selling myself on the streets to get by.
I figure that's far more entertaining than hearing about one more rich kid joining the peace corps.
In the years since I've graduated, the closest they've ever come to printing anything about me was that I was sending stuff too offensive for print, but that I was out there.

Here is my most recent submission (the girl in charge of all of this has been out of the country for a few months, so this is the first one she is taking charge of now that she is back, so I figured I'd just sort of touch base to see how she is doing).


-----------------------------------------------------------

Date: Fri, 22 Nov 2002 11:37:53 -0500 (EST)
Wrom: PYOQKEDOTWFAOBUZXUWLSZLKBRNVWWCUFPEGAUTFJM
To: TheChickWeWriteTo <[email protected]>
Subject: Re: class notes

I have nothing to report.
I've still got that job as a janitor in New Mexico. The kids throw things
at me, but I'm just glad to be off of drugs and out of prison - especially
in this economy.
I've learned a lot about life and love in this past year, and also I
learned how to swim.

these are things that you can't always pick up in college, what with the
heavy drinking and all, so I'm thankful for it all.

the crabs are all cleared up, the docs tell me that what they thought was
leprocy was really just a mistake and I should shower more. from what I
gather, the herpes is here to stay, but the open sores do leave a reminder
(albeit a painful one) of the friends I made while hitchiking across the
south west while avoiding the DEA.

I've also found salvation through religion. I worhsip the sun god ra and
sacrafice the homeless every other full moon in order to prevent
earthquakes.
and knitting. I knit. mostly hats out of discarded shoelaces and dirt.
lots of brown hats. I'm thinking of selling them on eBay - but I am not
entirely sure that I'm not still banned from there after attempting to
sell off all of my redundant organs in exchange for Ninetendo games.

you know, same old, same old.

Yours in sport, life, and friendship forever,

Enrico Pullatzo, Class of '99

Give me the reader's digest..not too muhc time at hand...
 
beastboy said:


You're a truck driver? Cool! What kind of CB?

long range with the reverb - I could talk to mexicans while in Virginia. mexicans that were in mexico - not ex pat mexicans.

I told people that I delivered plantains from Cuba to Michigan and then on the way back hauled mufflers for boats.
 
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