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Alcohol related stories
- Thread starter sk*
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drove from savannah to tallahassee under the influence
drove from tallahassee to columbus GA under the influence
spent $23000 defending a DUI unrelated to the above stories.
Woo hoo.
drove from tallahassee to columbus GA under the influence
spent $23000 defending a DUI unrelated to the above stories.
Woo hoo.
Alcohol related stories
Are the best ever.
Are the best ever.
Stangfriik
New member
We had a halloween party last year where I proceeded to get the most drunk I have probably ever been. I guess around 3:30am, we decided to go Denny's to get some food. From what they told me, I ordered this huge amount of food. Once it came I looked at it, my eyes then rolled back in my head and I passed out right in my food. Once we got home, I couldn't figure out which house was mine. I don't know why they didn't stop me from doing this but who knows. I went door to door to about 4 houses banging on the doors and windows yelling to let me in. Next thing I know, I snap out of it when I hear my fiance yelling "Stangfriik", get out of their yard. Right about this time, the police showed up. My fiance and I are standing in our matching cave people costumes. I guess my neighbor called the police b/c they kept hearing banging on their windows. The guy is an old sapnish dude who can't speak english and thankfully the cops didn't know spanish and he didn't know it was me. The cop asked me if I know anything about it. I say I don't know, I'm too fucking drunk and went back inside.
From there they said I started throwing things and I was in a rage. I dented our steel fridge and threw party favors (food) all over the place. I guess I was even throwing whole lemons everywhere.
My neighbors still look at me funny whenever I pass them
From there they said I started throwing things and I was in a rage. I dented our steel fridge and threw party favors (food) all over the place. I guess I was even throwing whole lemons everywhere.
My neighbors still look at me funny whenever I pass them
Stangfriik
New member
ColonCowboy said:
I dunno man. I wasn't "on" or anything. I have had a few "rages" like that while I was drinking. I can never remember it when it happens. From what my fiance and friends say, I'll just start acting a little weird then start bitching about shit and then start arguing with people. That's also one of the reasons I don't drink anymore.
mdd
New member
me and a buddy went out on a thursday night at about oh 6pm...
we went on our usual thurs night bar crawl, just started a bit early, no bid deal
at 2:30am, many many shots and beverages later, we walking home and go past the local pro-semi pro baseball stadium, and a gate seems to be open.... we look at each other
"dude we gotta go in"
so we go in, but find out theres another 15ft spiked fence or so to climb before ur actually in the park, somehow we climb this and make it in.
we're running through the stadium, sitting in the dugout, running the bases, sittin in the seats etc etc until we realize we better get the fuck out of here
we go to leave and fuck, wouldnt you know we need to climb two of those big ass fences again. we successfully manage to climb these things on main street downtown as cops are flying by... really surprised we werent caught, wed of been fucked
woke up the next morning, he knocked on my door "dude, what the fuck did we do last night"
stupid stupid booze
we went on our usual thurs night bar crawl, just started a bit early, no bid deal
at 2:30am, many many shots and beverages later, we walking home and go past the local pro-semi pro baseball stadium, and a gate seems to be open.... we look at each other
"dude we gotta go in"
so we go in, but find out theres another 15ft spiked fence or so to climb before ur actually in the park, somehow we climb this and make it in.
we're running through the stadium, sitting in the dugout, running the bases, sittin in the seats etc etc until we realize we better get the fuck out of here
we go to leave and fuck, wouldnt you know we need to climb two of those big ass fences again. we successfully manage to climb these things on main street downtown as cops are flying by... really surprised we werent caught, wed of been fucked
woke up the next morning, he knocked on my door "dude, what the fuck did we do last night"
stupid stupid booze
L
luciasb
Guest
Oh geez where to start!!
How bout with last night. So I pick up some vodka on a whim after work and I get purty buzzed and this really hot drug rep that I know calls me up and asks me to go out to dinner. Sorta buzzed and I had drank a 64oz super big gulp right in the afternoon. So I had alot of fluid on board. SO Im buzzed, I get dressed up quickly and get stuck in an hour of Seattle traffic. I had to piss so bad that I was like fuck it and I grabbed the big gulp container. Well Im about 3/4 finished, I mean this was a lot of piss and suddenly the traffic came to a dead stop. I slammed on my breaks and down goes the container of piss. As soon as it hits the floor it erupts piss back at me. I was soaked in piss almost to this girls house. It sucked big time, too far to get new clothes. I did a paper towel bath in a gas station bathroom and went to dinner in my scrubs with this girl. It worked out though with the girl.
More shall be forthcoming... so much more.
How bout with last night. So I pick up some vodka on a whim after work and I get purty buzzed and this really hot drug rep that I know calls me up and asks me to go out to dinner. Sorta buzzed and I had drank a 64oz super big gulp right in the afternoon. So I had alot of fluid on board. SO Im buzzed, I get dressed up quickly and get stuck in an hour of Seattle traffic. I had to piss so bad that I was like fuck it and I grabbed the big gulp container. Well Im about 3/4 finished, I mean this was a lot of piss and suddenly the traffic came to a dead stop. I slammed on my breaks and down goes the container of piss. As soon as it hits the floor it erupts piss back at me. I was soaked in piss almost to this girls house. It sucked big time, too far to get new clothes. I did a paper towel bath in a gas station bathroom and went to dinner in my scrubs with this girl. It worked out though with the girl.
More shall be forthcoming... so much more.
Amateurish. Piss on Chief Osceola at FSUs football stadium in the middle of the night and we'll talk. Double points if you have sex with a a girl whose name you don't know at midfield and then run away.
Piss in a big gulp cup? Motherfucker please. I keep an empty Big Slam of Pepsi in the car for that purpose. If you were a professional and not an amatuer you'd know that the big slam bottle is perfect. it;s wide enough to get the tip in, and easy enough to control to avoid spillage under adverse traffic conditions.
This is amateur hour. Posers.
Piss in a big gulp cup? Motherfucker please. I keep an empty Big Slam of Pepsi in the car for that purpose. If you were a professional and not an amatuer you'd know that the big slam bottle is perfect. it;s wide enough to get the tip in, and easy enough to control to avoid spillage under adverse traffic conditions.
This is amateur hour. Posers.
Stangfriik
New member
Another one is we decided to go swimming around 2am. The gate is locked during the night at the apartment complex we lived at. So we had to scale a rod iron fence in slides which was pretty fun. So we're swimming and I decide to see if I could swim from one to the other without coming up for air. I got to one side then from what my friend said, I did an almost 90 degree turn but I didn't know it. I started running out of breath so I really started trucking b/c I thought the wall was pretty far away. All of a sudden BAM. I rammed my head straight into the fucking wall. Came up to my friends laughing their asses off then realize my face is covered in blood. Had two huge scars for a week from that one.
spin721
Seagull Feeder
I got blasted
I barely remember coming home from this huge party when I was 19. I stumbled in to my parent's home and go to my room. I get another 4 Miller Lites and pound them.
The next thing I know is I have to take a massive piss. So, I went ahead and relieved myself.
The next morning my Mom wakes me up and asks if I let the dogs in the house after I got home. Of course, I say no....
Turns out I took a piss on my parent's French Doors leading to the family room.
My parents still don't know how this happened!
I barely remember coming home from this huge party when I was 19. I stumbled in to my parent's home and go to my room. I get another 4 Miller Lites and pound them.
The next thing I know is I have to take a massive piss. So, I went ahead and relieved myself.
The next morning my Mom wakes me up and asks if I let the dogs in the house after I got home. Of course, I say no....
Turns out I took a piss on my parent's French Doors leading to the family room.
My parents still don't know how this happened!
big_bad_buff
New member
when I was 18 alcohol made me kiss a fat girl at a party, I hated it for the longest time for this. then we made up and I have too many stories to mention. I havent drank more than a beer in a sitting for more than a year and a half lol
theoak01
New member
My watering hole and good friends Irish Pub here in town closed down a few months ago now, anyway we start there have a pint of Guinnes, after that its gone, then we head to the scotish pub have 2 more pints of Guinnes, goto some other hole in the wall bar it sucked so back to the pub and the owner is there by then she starts giving me free pints of kilkenny and me her and my buddy polished off a 40 of irish mist. the whole time in kilts, I dont remember leaving but apparently I fell out of the car when I got home and passed out on the bathroom floor in my knickers until my dad picked the lock and pushed me across the floor with the door.
was a fun night,didnt do crazy shit but it ruled
was a fun night,didnt do crazy shit but it ruled
calveless wonder
New member
lmao....
i drink once in a blue moon now but when i used to drink i would always have fucked up random things happen.
my freshman year in college i went out to this bar with a bunch of my frat brothers and a bunch of girls. i drank way too many redbull and vodkas and the girls all decided to jump up on the bar and dance. so me being all stupid and wasted jumps up on the bar too trying (and barely standing) to grind with whatever girls were there. The girl next to me had a corona bottle in her hand and passed it to me. thinking it was corona i started chugging it. Turns out it was blackhaus. After that everything was a blur but some guys looking for a fight were trying to start shit with me because i was on the bar, so when i went to jump down and confront them and they ended knoching over the girl next to me. she crashed pretty hard lol
i managed to make it over to a couch and passed out there before leaning over and puking, which happened to be next to one of the bouncers. one of my frat brothers tried taking me to the bathroom to puke, so he watched me for like 3 minutes and then left me be. I ended up falling over into the urinal's (it was one of thsoe ice urinal's). after like 15 minutes someone else went to the bathroom and saw me head first in the urinal (and no, there was no pee)
the next day i woke up in a huge ass pile of sweat and in a random bed. i had no clue where i was for 20 minutes
i drink once in a blue moon now but when i used to drink i would always have fucked up random things happen.
my freshman year in college i went out to this bar with a bunch of my frat brothers and a bunch of girls. i drank way too many redbull and vodkas and the girls all decided to jump up on the bar and dance. so me being all stupid and wasted jumps up on the bar too trying (and barely standing) to grind with whatever girls were there. The girl next to me had a corona bottle in her hand and passed it to me. thinking it was corona i started chugging it. Turns out it was blackhaus. After that everything was a blur but some guys looking for a fight were trying to start shit with me because i was on the bar, so when i went to jump down and confront them and they ended knoching over the girl next to me. she crashed pretty hard lol
i managed to make it over to a couch and passed out there before leaning over and puking, which happened to be next to one of the bouncers. one of my frat brothers tried taking me to the bathroom to puke, so he watched me for like 3 minutes and then left me be. I ended up falling over into the urinal's (it was one of thsoe ice urinal's). after like 15 minutes someone else went to the bathroom and saw me head first in the urinal (and no, there was no pee)
the next day i woke up in a huge ass pile of sweat and in a random bed. i had no clue where i was for 20 minutes
I enjoy alchohol a little too much and have more stories than I care to admit. However the most embarassing one would have to be the time that I took a girl home and in the middle of screwing (she was on top riding) I passed out. I woke up the next morning with my shirt off and my undies around my ankles. She was laying next to me under the covers. Needless to say she wasn't too happy about it but lucky enough for me we stayed friends and the only person she told was her best friend.
Of course who really knows how many people she or her friend told.
Oh well.
Of course who really knows how many people she or her friend told.
Oh well.
flex123 said:
hater
that dude's story was GEIGH.
when you wake up in a different state than you started the night, that's a story.
S
Spartacus
Guest
back in the 80s on of my older college friends graduated and got a job with Lockheed and was living in DC..well one day there was some kind of anti-nuke demonstration out in that area betw the capital and white house(the name escapes me)..and the peace crowd had hundreds of bowling pin sized "nukes" lined up in the green each of which was to represent a nuke in the world9they called em' the amber waves)..well my buddy was walking to work and got approached by one of the peaceniks and listened to thier dialog(he had no choice)..well when he explained to them that he worked for a defense contractor and basically told em' to get the f*ck outta my face they kinda got ugly.so after he got off work he went to a local bar and got a bit tanked up..when he was driving home the grass was wet and he passed by the "amber waves" and jumped the curve and spun through the amber waves making sure to turn the wheel sharply so as to "take out" as many as he could while tearing up the grass and generally making a mess..he woke up the next day to find "the story" in the news and said the cops were out there measuring tire tracks and whatnot..what a riot..btw,he was driving a toyota
PolishHammer1977
New member
On the night b4 graduation myself and friend ripped a tree down and put it on top of our buddies car. He had to drive back to long sialdn with a tree on top of his car bc he was too weak to move it lol
calveless wonder
New member
MattTheSkywalker said:
hater
that dude's story was GEIGH.
when you wake up in a different state than you started the night, that's a story.
you're geigh
calveless wonder said:
you're geigh
LOL
I liked your story. I;ve done all that shit - 1000000000000000000000 times. I should tell you that at 27 I stopped drinking - cold.
I wish I stopped earlier.
If not for a few lucky breaks who knows where I'd be.
Just keep it all in perspective.
magman1
New member
are u serious? there was this innocent girl all through highschool...senior year, she turned into the biggest slut you can ever imagine! she blew me and 8(yes 6, 7, and then 8) of my friends...there was this dude there no one really liked...he was passed out the whole nite, and we woke him up...told him the chick was digging him...he starts making out with this chick with 9 uniquely different specimens of cum in her mouthbig_bad_buff said:
magman1
New member
yep...i always wonder how many "lucky breaks" i will get...senior week, ocean city, so drunk i could barely walk...we stole these security guards jackets and badges, me and my buddies are riding around ocean city at 3 am on our bikes, stopping cars, saying we're cops...and the whole town was college/highschool kids...we start breaking into houses, yelling, "alright this is the fuckin cops" this is a raid...it looked pretty real too...blue security jackets, badges, and we had blue hats...we made people actually lay face down, while we raided their fridge of beer/liquor...we brought this scam a litttle too close to home, cuz we did it to these girls staying 3 houses down, and the land lord comes up after hearing all this...my buddy didnt know who he was(he was our landlord too), and he pushes him, and goes "Get on the ground fucker, before we have serious problems"...thank god he only evicted us, and didnt call the real cops
Two years ago, I was working late (only til 10, but it was New Years Eve). Arrived late to a party, and most everyone was drunk already. So, my buddy and I decided to get to it. I threw back 5 shots in about 5 minutes, then had a Smirnoff Ice (bleh). Not long after that, had one more shot. I was feeling fine for quite a while, until everything punched me in the face all at once. Soon after that I vomited. While I was puking in the bathroom, the friend I came with (who pretty much did the same thing I did) was waiting to use the bathroom, also to vomit, but couldn't hold it, so he puked in his hand. Then he threw that on the wall, lol. I came out and he ran in as fast as he could. I spent the rest of the night at the kitchen table vomiting every few minutes into a garbage bag.
Earlier that night, someone vomited on my shirt, while talking to me. That was odd.
Earlier that night, someone vomited on my shirt, while talking to me. That was odd.
magman1
New member
c'mon lightweights...two weekends ago...at penn state, a lot of people do this shit, called case races...first two to drink a case of pony's...well these nuts decided to have a tequila race...two teams of two knuckleheads...these two kids finished a bottle of tequila in 7 and a half minutes...and since they won, they had to take 3 shots each of jager right after...they were cool til it kicked in, then basically unconcious
Here's one of my stories:
Was gonna meet with JC Grifter, from this board, in Club Exit, in NYC.
I get there, and we can't find each other and he leaves his phone in the car. Anyway, I somehow end up drinking over half a bottle of bacardi 151 and 2 beers. I go to Exit alone, and shortly after I get kicked out (not sure why, but the bouncers were nice ... they probably just realized how fucked up I was and didn't want me to start anything).
After that, some homeless guy is trying to hassle me, but I am in too much of a good mood and call him buddy and stuff.
After a while, I just go back to my car and decide to go to sleep cause I can't drive like this.
Next thing I know, I am being put in the emergency ambulance vehicle. The cops told me that I was having seazures in my car and they broke my window to take me out.
After that, the next thing I remember is I am in the hospital, and they are taking blood from me or something. I also assume they pumped my stomach.
The whole thing cost over 3.5grand, not to mention my broken car window and the wasted night.
This is pretty much when I stopped drinking heavy.
-sk
Was gonna meet with JC Grifter, from this board, in Club Exit, in NYC.
I get there, and we can't find each other and he leaves his phone in the car. Anyway, I somehow end up drinking over half a bottle of bacardi 151 and 2 beers. I go to Exit alone, and shortly after I get kicked out (not sure why, but the bouncers were nice ... they probably just realized how fucked up I was and didn't want me to start anything).
After that, some homeless guy is trying to hassle me, but I am in too much of a good mood and call him buddy and stuff.
After a while, I just go back to my car and decide to go to sleep cause I can't drive like this.
Next thing I know, I am being put in the emergency ambulance vehicle. The cops told me that I was having seazures in my car and they broke my window to take me out.
After that, the next thing I remember is I am in the hospital, and they are taking blood from me or something. I also assume they pumped my stomach.
The whole thing cost over 3.5grand, not to mention my broken car window and the wasted night.
This is pretty much when I stopped drinking heavy.
-sk
calveless wonder
New member
sk* said:
who goes to Exit to drink? I had some funny Exit stories but i was
L
luciasb
Guest
'MattTheSkywalker said:
Hahahaaaa!! Well it worked out with the lady that night so it wasnt a total loss. Man she was gorgeous! Empty big slam, not sure what that is... could it be a 20oz big mouth?? Or is that just you?? LOL!! Well I used to have the piss in the car while driving thing down to a science, but well !@#$ happens. Did I mention that I still scored with the girl. AHH I swear working in medicine and you have these drug reps come by that are totally hot. Its like a goddamn smorgaasboard!! Every week, a new menu!
luciasb said:
I hear you dog. I publish one of the best known pharmaceutical journals. I know all about the reps.
Big SLam's are the 32 oz pepsi's.
Keep up the good work.
S
Spartacus
Guest
Bill wakes up at home with a huge hangover. He forces himself to open his eyes, and the first thing he sees is a couple of aspirins and a glass of water on the side table. He sits down and sees his clothing in front of him, all clean and pressed. Bill looks around the room and sees that it is in a perfect order, spotless, clean. So's the rest of the house. He takes the aspirins and notices a note on the table "Honey, breakfast is on the stove, I left early to go shopping. Love you."
So he goes to the kitchen and sure enough there is a hot breakfast and the morning newspaper. His son is also at the table, eating.
Bill asks, "Son, what happened last night?"
His son says, "Well, you came home after 3 A.M., drunk and delirious. Broke some furniture, puked in the hallway, and gave yourself a black eye when you stumbled into the door."
Confused, Bill asks, "So, why is everything in order and so clean, and breakfast is on the table waiting for me?"
His son replies, "Oh that! Mom dragged you to the bedroom, and when she tried to take your pants off you said, "Lady leave me alone, I'm married'!"
So he goes to the kitchen and sure enough there is a hot breakfast and the morning newspaper. His son is also at the table, eating.
Bill asks, "Son, what happened last night?"
His son says, "Well, you came home after 3 A.M., drunk and delirious. Broke some furniture, puked in the hallway, and gave yourself a black eye when you stumbled into the door."
Confused, Bill asks, "So, why is everything in order and so clean, and breakfast is on the table waiting for me?"
His son replies, "Oh that! Mom dragged you to the bedroom, and when she tried to take your pants off you said, "Lady leave me alone, I'm married'!"
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