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Advice please

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VeggieLifterChick

New member
I'm having a hard time with the elite lifestyle. I like working out, but the dieting gets to me. I know eating clean is healthier but sometimes I just want to eat cinnamon graham crackers or cheese or bread and butter or hot cocoa with whipped cream and fudge on top! The problem is, if I do, I pork right up. If I'm not a strictly clean contest diet, my normal bodyfat is 24%. I'm 5'4'' and 135-140 #, with a cute face IMO and a medium frame and 34d. <--had to toss that in hehe. I'm in college, and I see all these gorgeous girls walking around with bodies to die for and I know most of them don't diet and have never done a day of cardio in their lives. :rolleyes: Yet, I'm the resident "buff girl" at the gym. No matter how strong I get, I never even look close to the girls in Muscle & Fitness Hers. Probably because my bf is so high. If I don't eat like I'm on a contest diet I pork up. Fucking genetics!

The main reason for this rant is I am going to see my boyfriend on December 22. Exactly a month. He'll have just finished ranger school, and I know he's real scrawny now from being so starved and all. Before he left he said, "You should lose some weight too so that we won't look disproportionate together." Obviously he was trying to find a crafty way to get me to lose fat, because the guy is 6'2'' and will be at probably 170 (he's normally at 195). I would hardly dwarf him. He's made other comments along those lines, like he gets annoyed at me if I eat carbs or if I don't run a lot.

I'm wondering what you all think about this. Dieting is shitty. Should I just suck it up, deprive myself and contest diet and take NYC or ECA for a month to make him happier and look better? Or should I just say fuck it? is it worth it? Is he being a dick by saying this to me?
 
Frankly, I think if you want to lose weight, it should be because you want to lose it, not because your boyfriend thinks you are not small enough or slender or any of that crap. I think it is pretty shitty of him to say oh, btw, lose some weight. Sorry girl, but he sounds like an ass. I won't say more on him since I don't know the situation. I will say though, don't lose weight because of him. Let it be because you want to. You're the one that is supposed to be happy with your body. It's nice if he is, but if he can't accept you the way you are, then screw him. :)
 
I think Phatchick has some good points.

But I do wonder what we mean when we say that we did something "for ourself". Does that mean, we did it to make ourselves feel better? And why does it make us feel better? Perhaps because we're perceived in a more positive light by those around us? Noone lives in a vacuum.
 
casavant said:
I think Phatchick has some good points.

But I do wonder what we mean when we say that we did something "for ourself". Does that mean, we did it to make ourselves feel better? And why does it make us feel better? Perhaps because we're perceived in a more positive light by those around us? Noone lives in a vacuum.
Click to expand...


True. You have a good point or two yourself Cas. I think oftentimes we do things to make ourselves look better to everyone else. That's an awesome feeling when someone tells you they think you look great or whatever. Sometimes, it just makes us feel better or gives a sense of accomplishment to get in shape and look kick ass. I'm simply telling her that I don't think her boyfriend should be her sole reason for losing weight.
 
I do want to lose fat, as does everyone, I think. I would love to be at 15% body fat. I would love to impress him by looking that way. I work hard in the gym not just cuz I like lifting, but also because I want to look like I like lifing. :D I guess losing it would be for myself in that sense. Its just such a big project to focus on dieting and fat loss, so much deprivation. Some shit went down a couple weeks ago and I lost my appetite and lost 1.5 inches off my waist in a week and a half or so. But its coming right back on now because I'm not eating clean anymore. I'm just so sick of scrambled eggs and cottage cheese and tuna. Blehhhhhhhhhh.
 
what Phatchick said.

and what casavant said is also true. i can sit here and tell you all day that i train and diet for myself, but honestly the most rewarding times that I go, "yeah this is why i do it" is a toss up between the satisfaction of finally moving up to the next heavier set of dumbells and having someone give me an unsolicited physique compliment.

veggie if you're a happier person just chillin in front of a tv eating sundaes, that's perfectly cool. do it. if your bf started dating you when you were at the weight you were right now, he really doesn't have much right to tell you to drop it, unless of course it's getting to a point that may affect your health, which you are far from right now.
 
Also, about my boyfriend...I kind of give him credit for saying something because I guess I'd prefer to know how he really feels than for him to secretly be thinking it and telling me he thinks I'm hot. I don't want to be one of those unfortunate girls posting that my boyfriend broke up with me because he's no longer attracted to me. On the other hand, it hurts. I'm not fat, and he knows I'm already focused on being in shape, so why the fuck does he have to make me feel like I dont look good enough for him?
 
PHATchik said:
I'm simply telling her that I don't think her boyfriend should be her sole reason for losing weight.
Click to expand...

I do agree with you on that. When I cut down, it is never just because of the comments of one person. That probably isn't the healthiest reason.
 
casavant said:


I do agree with you on that. When I cut down, it is never just because of the comments of one person. That probably isn't the healthiest reason.
Click to expand...


Exactly. I won't do it because of one person's wishes. I do it cause I want to.
 
supernav said:
First off -- people get fat because of YEARS of over-eating and under-exercising, which has created that fat over time. Okay so you know the source -- good. Let's move on:

>Dieting is shitty

Dieting insinuates "being hungry" and eating "yucky foods". That's not the case.

It's eating RIGHT. And eating RIGHT can be just as yummy. You can still have that graham cracker with whipped cream, etc. just not AS much. Combine that with a steak, with water, with eggs. It's not the QUANTITY of food (though try NOT to over-eat when at one sitting -- eat til full then STOP) but the QUALITY.

And if you can't stop eating a certain type of food -- just cut down a *little* bit, week by week. Little by little.

losing weight is like building a building. You can put all your effort in, and try to build it boom within a week and really over-exert yourself...

or yo can lay a BRICK AT A TIME, slowly and slowly...and it'll be created as long as you stay focused on it.

Just take the weight loss tips (i'm sure this board is full of 10 million of them so i won't even get into it) and slowly encompass one of those tips week by week, month by month. Don't let this guy give you mental anguish over it. Losing weight *has* to be an enjoyable, faithful, encourage process --- otherwise it'll just make you miserable. And really...who wants to be miserable?

-= nav =-
Click to expand...

That sounds like a nice way to go about fat loss...but unfortunately for me, it doesn't work like that on my body. If I just eat healthy and have small quanitities of junk, I won't lose anything. I'll maintain. But I guess your general message is to take it slow and not extreme and give it time, which I do like and could find a way to implement. I suppose, like others said, I want him to be able to notice it. 30 days out or so isn't much time (4 weeks?) so I feel like if I don't go hardcore it won't be worth it.
 
VeggieLifterChick said:
I'm having a hard time with the elite lifestyle. I like working out, but the dieting gets to me. I know eating clean is healthier but sometimes I just want to eat cinnamon graham crackers or cheese or bread and butter or hot cocoa with whipped cream and fudge on top! The problem is, if I do, I pork right up. If I'm not a strictly clean contest diet, my normal bodyfat is 24%. I'm 5'4'' and 135-140 #, with a cute face IMO and a medium frame and 34d. <--had to toss that in hehe. I'm in college, and I see all these gorgeous girls walking around with bodies to die for and I know most of them don't diet and have never done a day of cardio in their lives. :rolleyes: Yet, I'm the resident "buff girl" at the gym. No matter how strong I get, I never even look close to the girls in Muscle & Fitness Hers. Probably because my bf is so high. If I don't eat like I'm on a contest diet I pork up. Fucking genetics!

The main reason for this rant is I am going to see my boyfriend on December 22. Exactly a month. He'll have just finished ranger school, and I know he's real scrawny now from being so starved and all. Before he left he said, "You should lose some weight too so that we won't look disproportionate together." Obviously he was trying to find a crafty way to get me to lose fat, because the guy is 6'2'' and will be at probably 170 (he's normally at 195). I would hardly dwarf him. He's made other comments along those lines, like he gets annoyed at me if I eat carbs or if I don't run a lot.

I'm wondering what you all think about this. Dieting is shitty. Should I just suck it up, deprive myself and contest diet and take NYC or ECA for a month to make him happier and look better? Or should I just say fuck it? is it worth it? Is he being a dick by saying this to me?
Click to expand...

Do what YOU want to do. Don't do it for him, or anyone else besdies yourself.
I'm saying this.. because I am doing the same thing right now. I had originally said I was losing weight for my girl.. Well.. she's seeing someone else now.. And I figured out, I need to be doing this for myself, and noone else... So I am.. I will reach the goals for ME! I will strive my hardest for ME! I will see the results and congratulate myself... for ME.
 
What you need to do, the second he walks in the door, is get down on your knees and give him head like it's your last meal. If you can suck his jeans into his ass, belive me -- he won't give a shit what you look like.



;)

Seriously though, if you're gonna lose weight or get in shape, you have to do it for yourself. On the other hand, it sounds like you look pretty good already. Plus, most guys don't really care how perfect a girl is....you ladies worry about that far more than we do. :)
 
YOU SHOULD GO CHECK OUT MY THREAD ABOUT THIS TOPIC. IT WILL TELL YOU HOW MANY MALES REALLY FEEL.

BTW...IS YOUR BF IN FT. BENNIG, GA. 3RD RANGER BATTALLION???


KAYNE
 
OK...try to forget about your boyfriend for a sec.- without that pressure, would you still want to lose some fat and get in leaner shape? If the answer is "Yes", then I think you should look into it.

Props to Supernav for his post. It's a damn good one, IMO.
 
NOT THAT IT HAS ANYTHING TO DO WITH THIS THREAD BUT 8 KIDS IN NEW YORK ARE FAT AND THEY BLAME MACDONALDS. THEIR PARENTS ARE SUING MICKY D'S FOR MILLIONS. LMAO. WHAT HAS THIS WORLD COME TO???




KAYNE
 
KAYNE said:
NOT THAT IT HAS ANYTHING TO DO WITH THIS THREAD BUT 8 KIDS IN NEW YORK ARE FAT AND THEY BLAME MACDONALDS. THEIR PARENTS ARE SUING MICKY D'S FOR MILLIONS. LMAO. WHAT HAS THIS WORLD COME TO???




KAYNE
Click to expand...

So I guess that means I should sue my mom...
 
KAYNE said:
NOT THAT IT HAS ANYTHING TO DO WITH THIS THREAD BUT 8 KIDS IN NEW YORK ARE FAT AND THEY BLAME MACDONALDS. THEIR PARENTS ARE SUING MICKY D'S FOR MILLIONS. LMAO. WHAT HAS THIS WORLD COME TO???




KAYNE
Click to expand...

I caught that shit on the news networks earlier. Man...I swear to the powers that be that I would like to crow kick all those pussies in their reproductive organs so that there will be no chance that they can contaminate the rest of the world with their putrid evil seed.

Seriously, what ever happened to personal reponsibility? Makes me want to do this number right here: :sick:
 
PHATchik said:
Frankly, I think if you want to lose weight, it should be because you want to lose it, not because your boyfriend thinks you are not small enough or slender or any of that crap. I think it is pretty shitty of him to say oh, btw, lose some weight. Sorry girl, but he sounds like an ass. I won't say more on him since I don't know the situation. I will say though, don't lose weight because of him. Let it be because you want to. You're the one that is supposed to be happy with your body. It's nice if he is, but if he can't accept you the way you are, then screw him. :)
Click to expand...

I disagree. I wouldn't want my gf to be a fatass either. 124 is not fat for 5'4". My point is if I married a fit 125lb. woman and she let herself go and turned into a 160 pound fatass. I damn sure would let her know about it.
 
Thank you for all the responses, btw.

Casavant,
I do want to lose it for myself if I stop thinking about doing it for him. I guess doing it for him just makes it seem more urgent, which would make the dieting part more grueling. It is possible to lose 10 # in one month, but its a lot of fuckin work.

Drunken_Weasel,

Good for you! I've read several of your posts, and your drive and determination is very evident. Keep at it, and post when you start seeing results. It'll be motivation for us both.
 
o yes, rutgers chicks. very yummy. they put out and love to drink. :D she isn't lying fellas, the rutgers chicks are slamming. o baby.

ok, i think your bf needs to gain weight because at 135lbs or so at 5'4 and d sized breasts sounds good to me. if you want me to have sex with you to prove it then by all means please PM me. :D
 
fistfullofsteel said:
o yes, rutgers chicks. very yummy. they put out and love to drink. :D she isn't lying fellas, the rutgers chicks are slamming. o baby.

ok, i think your bf needs to gain weight because at 135lbs or so at 5'4 and d sized breasts sounds good to me. if you want me to have sex with you to prove it then by all means please PM me. :D
Click to expand...

Horny tonight, eh? Can't blame a man for trying.
 
If I were you, I would say FUCKL IT!
That is not a healthy relationship.
Whe nI married my wife she was tight, and now over teh years she has gained weight, and you know what, I don't care. I'm with someone for the whole package, not just what they look like so if he disresects youI woiuld reconsider the realtionship.

Or maybe you want to get married and listern to that shit everyday.


Now another thing you may want to take into perspective is the Military mind. If you want we can get into that animal. I'm a former Marine so I understand the Military lifestyle very well.

I guess all I'm trying to say is why be with someone who makes you feel bad, life is short make the most of it!
 
Parabellum said:
If I were you, I would say FUCKL IT!
That is not a healthy relationship.
Whe nI married my wife she was tight, and now over teh years she has gained weight, and you know what, I don't care. I'm with someone for the whole package, not just what they look like so if he disresects youI woiuld reconsider the realtionship.

Or maybe you want to get married and listern to that shit everyday.


Now another thing you may want to take into perspective is the Military mind. If you want we can get into that animal. I'm a former Marine so I understand the Military lifestyle very well.

I guess all I'm trying to say is why be with someone who makes you feel bad, life is short make the most of it!
Click to expand...

I think the comment was a little offensive, and maybe even fucked up, but I don't know if I'd call it disrespectful. He is in general a very sweet boy.

However, I'd like to hear about this military mind you'd like to get into. Spill it....


And by the way, yes, Fist is right! Rutgers girls love sex, drink a whole hell of a lot, and look damn good. So...who's gonna up here and party with me?;)
 
Parabellum said:
If I were you, I would say FUCKL IT!
That is not a healthy relationship.
Whe nI married my wife she was tight, and now over teh years she has gained weight, and you know what, I don't care. I'm with someone for the whole package, not just what they look like so if he disresects youI woiuld reconsider the realtionship.

Or maybe you want to get married and listern to that shit everyday.



Now another thing you may want to take into perspective is the Military mind. If you want we can get into thaAre you fat too? Because fat would bother me. I can't get it up for a fat person. There's no excuse for being fat except laziness and no disclipline.
t animal. I'm a former Marine so I understand the Military lifestyle very well.

I guess all I'm trying to say is why be with someone who makes you feel bad, life is short make the most of it!
Click to expand...

Are you fat too? Because fat would bother me. I can't get it up for a fat person. There's no excuse for being fat except laziness and no disclipline.
 
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