Advice on disciplining a child

[jerseyart]

So my 5 year old nephew calls to invite me to some stupid grammar school play or whatever, like I have nothing better to do than listen to him parrot some stupid line they gave him to say just so he wouldnt feel excluded, and spend two hours listening to other uninteresting and untalented kids do the same.

So I made up some bullshit excuse about having to have a lung transplant that day blah blah blah, sorry maybe next time.

As I'm getting off the phone he says "is that girl music you have in the background."

WTF?

Me: What are you talking about

Him: I hear girl music

Me:Thats piped in office music

Him:Your listening to girl music?

Me: Im not lsitening to it, they pipe it in the whole office, its just on, I didnt choose it

Him: I cant believe your listening to girl music

Me: Im not listening to it

Him: (calling sister) Mary, Uncle Artie is listening to girl music....like a girl (giggling in background)

Me: Listen punk, I already told you, Im not listening to girl music. If you didnt inherit the stupid gene from your dads side of the family, you'd know this is just piped in corporate music.

Him: Maybe you like girl music cause you wish you were a girl

Me: You shoudl talk, I changed your diaper punk, your hung like a girl

Him: Go listen to your girl music, maybe then you wont be such a butthole (hangs up)

You can see my dilemna. What advice can you give?

Note: Although some of the dialogue has been changed somewhat to make it PG, this actually did just happen )

 

[feisty11975]

So my 5 year old nephew calls to invite me to some stupid grammar school play or whatever, like I have nothing better to do than listen to him parrot some stupid line they gave him to say just so he wouldnt feel excluded, and spend two hours listenign to other uninteresting and untalented kids do the same.

So I made up some bullshit excuse about having to have a lung transplant that day blah blah blah, sorry maybe next time.

As I'm getting off the phone he says "is that girl music you have in the background."

WTF?

Me: What are you talkign about

Him: I hear girl music

Me:Thats piped in office music

Him:Your listening to girl music?

Me: Im nto lsitening to it, they pipe it in the whole office, its just on, I ddint choose it

Him: I cant believe your listening to girl music

Me: Im not lsitening to it

Him: (callign sister) Mary, Uncle Artie is listening to girl music....like a girl (giggling in background)

Me: Listen punk, I already todl you, Im not listening to girl music. If you didnt inherit the stupid gene from your dads side of the family, you'd know this is just piped in corporate music.

Him: Maybe you like girl music cause you wish you were a girl

Me: You shoudl talk, I changed your diaper punk, your hung like a girl

Him: Go listen to your girl music, maybe then you wont be such a butthole (hangs up)

You can see my dilemna. What advice can you give?

Note: Although some of the dialogue has been changed somewhat to make it PG, this actually did just happen )

That's funny. Sounds like you were talking to one of my kids. haha I think you need to take his advice. j/j

 

[HumorMe]

Sounds like he pwned you

 

[spongebob]

the blanket approach to discipline is locking them in a closet. works everytime!

 

[feisty11975]

the blanket approach to discipline is locking them in a closet. works everytime!

and then banging on the door!!! Can't forget to scare the shit out of them!!

 

[chewyxrage]

lol

the funny thing is JA is saying all these good insults and the kid don't give a shit cuz he doens't understand them

Then pwns JA by calling him a butthole and hangs up, classic.

 

[GrandMaster]

.............

Me: You shoudl talk, I changed your diaper punk, your hung like a girl

you actually said tha to this Kid?! LMAO!!!
oh my gad man! i cant believe this child got at your last nerves that easily over music!! lol

dont worry, i've had to deal with kids like that,...thats y i avoid childern at ALL costs!

 

[Mr. dB]

So what kind of girl music were you listening to?

 

[feisty11975]

So what kind of girl music were you listening to?

I heard he likes Madonna!!!

 

[jerseyart]

He likes to talk smack on the phone, but he's a pussy in real person. Hides behind his mom, like she can protect him if he pisses me off enough.

She's worse then they are. Keeps teaching them to lecture me on the hazards of smoking. So every time Im over they keep parroting her "smoking is stupid, your gonna die blah blah blah"

So in retaliation I tell them "Yeah, but if you don't none of the other kids will like you, you wont be cool, you'll never have a date etc"

They ask me to a lot fewer family functions as a result.

 

[GrandMaster]

grab the little punk next time, and duckTape his ass to the street light!

and sit there, laugh,...hit em with a few eggs....

 

[GrandMaster]

He likes to talk smack on the phone, but he's a pussy in real person. Hides behind his mom, like she can protect him if he pisses me off enough.

She's worse then they are. Keeps teaching them to lecture me on the hazards of smoking. So every time Im over they keep parroting her "smoking is stupid, your gonna die blah blah blah"

So in retaliation I tell them "Yeah, but if you don't none of the other kids will like you, you wont be cool, you'll never have a date etc"

They ask me to a lot fewer family functions as a result.

LoL!!!! thats fuckin awsome!!

 

[geoboy]

the blanket approach to discipline is locking them in a closet. works everytime!

thats pretty funny, now you just always type in orange in anticipation of your next blackening? always thinking.

 

[from zero]

Grab him by the ankles and swing him hard into a goalpost.

 

[bran987]

u love kid p2ninwgs lol

 

[Maverick]

 

[Wynn]

He likes to talk smack on the phone, but he's a pussy in real person. Hides behind his mom, like she can protect him if he pisses me off enough.

She's worse then they are. Keeps teaching them to lecture me on the hazards of smoking. So every time Im over they keep parroting her "smoking is stupid, your gonna die blah blah blah"

So in retaliation I tell them "Yeah, but if you don't none of the other kids will like you, you wont be cool, you'll never have a date etc"

They ask me to a lot fewer family functions as a result.

I guess you have yet to introduce him to his very first wedgie?

 

[The Wenis]

kick the livin shit out of him maing. i gots faith in youz.

 

[*MissFit*]

See JA u'll never win an argument with me either

 

[awittyusername]

I'm confused. Is Lestat your nephew?

 

[jerseyart]

I'm confused. Is Lestat your nephew?

Nah, the kid is a prick, but he's straight

When he was 3 I took him to the pool and watched him wade into the kiddie pool, steal a toy from anbother kid, then proceed to go give it to a lil blonde girl that was swimming there as well.

I was so proud.

 

[awittyusername]

Nah, the kid is a prick, but he's straight

When he was 3 I took him to the pool and watched him wade into the kiddie pool, steal a toy from anbother kid, then proceed to go give it to a lil blonde girl that was swimming there as well.

I was so proud.

That brought a tear to my eye. I think I'm now ready to have kids. (boys)

 

[jerseyart]

That brought a tear to my eye. I think I'm now ready to have kids. (boys)

I got such a kick out of that.

Not only did he make the other boy cry, establishing his alpha male status, he picked the cutest girl in the pool within seconds of gettting in himself. Not a seconds hesitation on his part before approaching her.

He definitely gets that from our side of the family.