A Canadian Apology

[2Thick]

Care of: Rick Mercer, of This Hour Has 22 Minutes, CBC Television.

On behalf of Canadians everywhere I'd like to offer an apology to the United States of America. We haven't been getting along very well recently and for that, I am truly sorry.

I'm sorry we called George Bush a moron. He is a moron but, it wasn't nice of us to point it out. If it's any consolation, the fact that he's a moron shouldn't reflect poorly on the people of America. After all it's not like you actually elected him.

I'm sorry about our softwood lumber. Just because we have more trees than you doesn't give us the right to sell you lumber that's cheaper and better than your own.

I'm sorry we beat you in Olympic hockey. In our defense I guess our excuse would be that our team was much, much, much, much better than yours.

I'm sorry we burnt down your White House during the war of 1812. I notice you've rebuilt it! It's very nice.

I'm sorry about your beer. I know we had nothing to do with your beer but, We Feel your Pain.

I'm sorry about our waffling on Iraq. I mean, when you're going up against a crazed dictator, you wanna have your friends by your side. I realize it took more than two years before you guys pitched in against Hitler, but that was different. Everyone knew he had weapons.

And finally on behalf of all Canadians, I'm sorry that we're constantly apologizing for things in a passive-aggressive way which is really a thinly veiled criticism. I sincerely hope that you're not upset over this. We've seen what you do to countries you get upset with.

Thank you.
Rick Mercer

 

[Mad4Iron]

Lucky we don't bomb your asses and take your trees Canuck

And I'm fucking kidding,I love you assholes.

Mad

 

[WODIN]

Technically it was British Troops that got there asses kicked after that blatent act of Arson on our nations capitol. We figured driving them out of here back up to Canada was enough punishment.

*Snort.....*!!!!

 

[gymtime]

I just KNEW this wouldn't be a real apology.

 

[Zebo]

You do realize that our Salvation Army could kick your ass........

 

[Saizen]

I moved about 4 years ago from PA to Toronto and although I think the comments are pretty amusing and I'm unfazed by them, I still don't understand why there is so much Anti American sentiment here in Canada. Even if you take away the war situation/view of US government policies, in general I find that there's always been much resentment here, not sure about the rest of the country though. I had a bartender once tell me to take my yankee ass elsewhere because he saw a few US $ in my wallet. Just my view as an outsider, that's all...

 

[WODIN]

Canada is like a loft apartment over a really great party...that's why there is so much resentment.

 

[Mad4Iron]

Really? never had that shit.

I've stayed over in Montreal and Toronto and was alway treated like a king,shit I think I've gotten laid more in Canada than in my own fucking country

I do have that "Do not fuck with me" demeanor though

Mad

 

[Lift Chief]

Canada is like a loft apartment over a really great party...that's why there is so much resentment.

Haha... i guess when you're geographically so close to the strongest country in the world you eventually start to get bitter towards your much much stronger and economically superior neighbor....

Canada's got more.... snow though.... so that's.... good?

I didn't even realize there was such a thing as Canadian pride.

 

[john937]

Canada will have it's day. We're going to burn up all the fosile fuels, raise the planets temperature, melt that snow; and when Florida sinks beneath the waves, we'll all move to Canada and build nice new homes with all those trees.