A bit of advice

[68GT350]

Sitting here thinking about my life has led me to become extremely angry with the social situations of some guys in my life who are good people but don't think of themselves as such.

I hope you guys read this and find some truth to my rantings. If you don't know me (which is most of you) then read this anyway and see if the man, I describe is you. If it is, take a moment to give what I say some serious thought.

The man in question is a young guy, not a supermodel but moderately attractive. He may or may not work out but his body isn't gortesque by any stretch of the imagination. He dresses appropriately, and has the ability to hold a decent conversation and get a good laugh from his peers. He has morals, values, and views that many of us share and he works to attain goals he has set.

He has a problem. This guy is single and not by choice. Sure, he can get along alone--but this has been the case for many years. He doesn't know true love. He hasn't even had the opportunity to have his heart broken. Maybe, he's had his share of sexual encounters, but these were drunken stupors or one night stands. Ultimately, he is lonely and would like a girl to share his life with...or at least get laid without having 20 drinks in his blood system. He is afraid to approach girls, for fear of rejection. Sober, he has this feeling that this girl he has set his sights upon, is "too good" or unattainable. Approaching a girl in a bar, or in the mall, or at the market is out of the question. Girls are scary.

Now, you may not fit this profile completely, but if any of this sounds familiar, it's time for a change, my friend. Take this in and dwell on it for a bit while I type out my advice for you. It's time for a change...

 

[DcupSheepNipples]

A bit of advice

Don't be to hard on yourself 68GT350! Your dicky is fixed so you can bang hot chicks if you are able to duck tape them!

 

[Austin316]

Im waiting on that advice lol. Pretty close, except Im not that stupid when I drink

 

[68GT350]

I'm sick of seeing good guys stay single and lonely due to the fact of a feeling of insecurities and dread of being inadequate. The sad fact is, if a girl doesn't like you for whatever reason, the rejection can be cruel and painful. Fine, get over it.

The truth is, one person can't please everyone so there's no guaranteed way to attract every girl. However, if you plan on ignoring the opposite gender in hopes that one day, Ms. Perfect will fall on your lap, then you are in for a long, long wait.

In a social environment, getting a girl to talk to is a numbers game. You only get what you put into it. If you never ask a girl out to dance or whatever, she'll never have a chance to say no. Chance of failure: 100%.

Here's cold harsh reality for you--you are going to have to grow some balls and approach girls. That's just the way it is. You gotta put some ego on the line in order to eventually strike gold. Personally, I'd rather have even a 1% chance of getting laid and possibly, a relationship over a 0% chance. At least I have a chance. If you make a habit of hitting on girl you like, eventually, one is bound to like you. It's just common sense. Besides, the odds are better than you think. It's either yes or no.

For all you laymen out there...that's 50/50. Pretty good odds, no?

(more to come)

 

[talonracer]

In a nutshell its a WHOLE lot easier for a woman out there dating than a guy. Guys are naturally more aggresive than women, so an attractive woman can meet a guy ANYWHERE and they usually do. You never see an single attractive woman unless she's totally psycho, or so engrossed in school/job that she has no time for a relationship anyway. I've been dating for over 2 years now and a conservative estimate would be 10 single attractive successful guys to every single attractive succesful woman. Fat women are like flies they are EVERWHERE, some pretty women have mental problems because of GUYS TREATING THEM LIKE SHIT.....but who's fault is that?? Women always go for bad boys then wonder why they got shit on. DUH The pickings are DAMN slim. In fact I usually can only find dates with women much older or much younger than me. To be truthful I gave up about 9 months ago.
You keep hearing about all these women who "can't find a decent guy" well WTF are they??

 

[68GT350]

As I said earlier, it's a numbers game. Like the old saying goes, if you throw shit at the wall, eventually, some is bound to stick. Simply this--the more girls you ask out, the greater your odds of one of them saying YES!

I'm a guy and I know how hard it can be to approach a girl in a public place, whether it's the local A&P or the club on a Saturday night. The hardest part is approaching that stranger for the first time and getting that first line in. It gets easier every time, so stick to it.

Do I sound like I'm nuts here?

Ok, now I've established how important and how it's not so easy to approach a girl. Let's explore why you should do it.

Why should I even bother?

1. Why shouldn't you? Don't you like sex?
2. Do you honestly think SHE is better than you? We're all human and share the same needs.
3. It sucks being lonely.
4. You know you want to. Time to do something about it.
5. The lucky lady may actually want you to come over and say something. Be a good sport!

(Next post will give some advice of actually carrying this impossible task out)

 

[the nature boy]

bro, this stuff you're talking about is all about inner confidence. there are plenty of guys that quite frankly are ugly and overweight but they're confident and happy with themselves and get plenty of girls. It all comes from the inside. Girls can smell confidence.

I used to be shy, hell I still am shy. I don't normally approach girls I don't know, I do it rarely or I have to get my friends to goad me into it. But I do it more and more. I don't really care about rejection anymore. Once you get rejected enough you get used to it. Mabye it comes with age too. You stop caring what other people think and start living for yourself.

ALSO, I also think that happiness doesn't come from having a girlfriend. Happyness comes from the inside. you can't truly love someone until you love yourself first.

Take it from a person who suffers from depression and is pretty darn selfconsious. But I'm dealing with it.

So can anyone else.

 

[68GT350]

"Okay smart-ass, so how do I ask a girl out?"

This is an easy one. First of all, you'd probably want a chick who likes you for you. In that case, BE YOURSELF!!!! It's a strange situation and you're both equally nervous. That's ok...it's expected. It takes balls to do this so you should use the confidence that you used to get there. Show her you are a man! Be friendly, charming, and funny. Everything that makes you the cool-ass motherfucker that is you. If she likes you for you, she'll say yes. If she says no, you're better off.

You should never want to be with a girl who doesn't want to be with you. Fuck her and move on.

I can't give any exact ways to come onto a girl. It depends on the surroundings and the situation. If you can strike up a conversation...You're in. If the conversation is lagging, you probably wouldn't be able to get along anyway. It's alright to say you guys really aren't hitting it off and move on. If a girl is really meant for you, you shouldn't have to worry about conversation. It should just flow.

"What shouldn't I do?"

As Holden Caufield would say, 'don't be phony.' Be yourself and don't use objects as a lure. By this, I mean don't use money, a nice car, jewelry, or any fancy toys as a way to build up value for yourself. You often come across as an asshole and you'll only attract gold-diggers. Don't be too forward and don't act too comfortable. There is a certain etiquette that must be used when you are just meeting someone. Don't scare her away!

(some more soon)

 

[talonracer]

Why should I even bother?

1. Why shouldn't you? Don't you like sex?
2. Do you honestly think SHE is better than you? We're all human and share the same needs.
3. It sucks being lonely.
4. You know you want to. Time to do something about it.
5. The lucky lady may actually want you to come over and say something. Be a good sport!

1. I can find a date no problem, heck I can get sex easy too. I know this sounds corny but I want love, affection, and a best freind.

2. Nope she isn't, I wasn't the one who married some loser who beat her just because he had a big cock or had money.

3. You get used to lonliness, I pass the time by working in dog rescue and helping out people when I can. I have kids too they bring me alot of joy. Me and my two daughters had an hour long tickle fight right before her mom came for them Sunday.

4. Yea I know what I want, but sadly it isn't there. I know a woman right now I'd drop everything for- but naturally she's married with kids and has a husband and lives FAR away.

5. I have several female freinds, they all say I'm nearly perfect. Yet I'm just a freind to them. They don't wanna lose me as a friend by introducing me to their messed up freinds.

 

[theoak01]

that use to be me,now i found a girl who likes me for me and im very happy,she is the female version of me,we are so much a like its scarey,the funny thing is i have known her for two years and never knew she was so much like me

this was a good post GT,its guys like you who keep me coming back to this shithole board

 

[talonracer]

that use to be me,now i found a girl who likes me for me and im very happy,she is the female version of me,we are so much a like its scarey,the funny thing is i have known her for two years and never knew she was so much like me

this was a good post GT,its guys like you who keep me coming back to this shithole board

Feels good doesn't it Oak?? It has away of erasing alot of bad memories

 

[DcupSheepNipples]

that use to be me,now i found a girl who likes me for me and im very happy,she is the female version of me,we are so much a like its scarey,the funny thing is i have known her for two years and never knew she was so much like me

Funny thing is I can only see Canadian Oak whacking off with a wig on his hand!

 

[68GT350]

From here on, it's all up to you homies. Everyone has a different personality and a different way of reacting to things. Your first confrontation will be about discovering things about each other. You are exploring to see if you two are compatible for either some good ol' rough sex, dating, or just converstation.

My point is, don't be afraid of rejection. You don't get unless you ask. I hope this was hopeful.

By the way...Who the hell am I to be giving such advice. Just a guy that wants all you guys who are lonely but afraid to go after what they want, a bit of encouragement. It's time to take what you want. Be cool and good luck.

 

[theoak01]

talon it is totally amazing having someone to share those good experiences with

DcupSheepNipples that was me from about grade 9-11,never had a date even within those two years

 

[68GT350]

ALSO, I also think that happiness doesn't come from having a girlfriend. Happyness comes from the inside. you can't truly love someone until you love yourself first.

Take it from a person who suffers from depression and is pretty darn selfconsious. But I'm dealing with it.

So can anyone else.

Bro, I never said having a girl means happiness. Sometimes though, a person really wants a mate but is too afraid to go after it. I find this to be a source of many peoples' unhappiness--their lack of confidence. You have to realize that you deserve what you want. Girls are defintately not better than us. You have to believe that if they reject you...it's their loss. Fuck it, we're the ones who run the world man!

 

[the nature boy]

Bro, I never said having a girl means happiness. Sometimes though, a person really wants a mate but is too afraid to go after it. I find this to be a source of many peoples' unhappiness--their lack of confidence. You have to realize that you deserve what you want. Girls are defintately not better than us. You have to believe that if they reject you...it's their loss. Fuck it, we're the ones who run the world man!

no i didn't insinuate that you felt that way, but there are people like that. and they end up finding someone to fill a viod in their lives. but as most relationships do, it all ends. then they're back to where they started from.

 

[talonracer]

Its kinda bizarre but it took me having a close personal freind who was a lesbian to open my eyes to the fact that women make great freinds, they are much easier to talk to than guys and you don't have to put up that false macho front-you can just be you. Here was a woman I'd NEVER have sex with so our relationship consisted of talking,shopping,girlwatching and Flyers games. Now I want a lover who's my best freind but I can't seem to put those two together.

 

[theoak01]

. Now I want a lover who's my best freind but I can't seem to put those two together.

its out there man,give it a little time,if you had asked me who i would be with 3 months ago i couldnt tell ya,this relationship just came together,everyday im still in shock that i got a girl this beautiful

 

[talonracer]

its out there man,give it a little time,if you had asked me who i would be with 3 months ago i couldnt tell ya,this relationship just came together,everyday im still in shock that i got a girl this beautiful

Hey the cool thing about getting laid off is I can be mobile now!!! Really I have come to belive in Karma and fat. If she's out there we will get together. If I'm 60 and still alone then I was meant to be alone. I simply have ceased to worry about it. I rely on myself for happiness not others. anything else is a bonus.

 

[68GT350]

Its kinda bizarre but it took me having a close personal freind who was a lesbian to open my eyes to the fact that women make great freinds, they are much easier to talk to than guys and you don't have to put up that false macho front-you can just be you. Here was a woman I'd NEVER have sex with so our relationship consisted of talking,shopping,girlwatching and Flyers games. Now I want a lover who's my best freind but I can't seem to put those two together.

I never really put up a macho front when i'm around my friends. I do appreciate having a friend that is a girl that i'm not banging. A lot of my friends can't comprehend that.

 

[OMEGA]

whatever NATURE says is gold.

he has helped me pick up all the sexy farm animals with is smooth one liners.

"hey you gonna eat all that hey?, you sexy steer?

and other wonderful gems of pimpuness.

any way a pices of advice that helped me someyears back, was when I was talking to my best freind.

the guy is a stud!

if I was gay, I would jump his bones!

any way I asked him one day.

"Jay, you always have a girl at your side.......how do you do it?

i was suprised by his answer...

he said " D..... for every 1 girl I get, a strike out with 20 of them"

when he said this, i realized that failure, if you want to call it that, is part of the territory........and hey so what if you strike out,........i least you went to the plate, and gave a go.

and at least you'll know

 

[talonracer]

They are rare and very cherished.........if I told ya how I lost mine you wouldn't belive me.......lol

 

[talonracer]

when he said this, i realized that failure, if you want to call it that, is part of the territory........and hey so what if you strike out,........i least you went to the plate, and gave a go.

Kinda wierd but I have a parallel to that. Years ago my freinds were always amazed that a 5'9" guy like me could handily whip a 6'4" guy in a fight, they asked the same thing.............the truth was I lost as much as I won. but I always was willing to go and would take a beating to give a beating. You can't right if your afraid to get hit. I used to get into right just to get me ass kicked when I felt I was getting too soft.

 

[the nature boy]

whatever NATURE says is gold.

he has helped me pick up all the sexy farm animals with is smooth one liners.

"hey you gonna eat all that hey?, you sexy steer?

and other wonderful gems of pimpuness.

any way a pices of advice that helped me someyears back, was when I was talking to my best freind.

the guy is a stud!

if I was gay, I would jump his bones!

any way I asked him one day.

"Jay, you always have a girl at your side.......how do you do it?

i was suprised by his answer...

he said " D..... for every 1 girl I get, a strike out with 20 of them"

when he said this, i realized that failure, if you want to call it that, is part of the territory........and hey so what if you strike out,........i least you went to the plate, and gave a go.

and at least you'll know

my pickup lines are between me and you!

I dont' mind striking out anymore, it's kind of a rush to approach people. Unfortunately I don't do it at loud clubs and shit. I hate talking over music. The only thing about striking out is that you have to invest some time in order to find out you've struck out.

 

[OMEGA]

I dont' mind striking out anymore, it's kind of a rush to approach people

exactley!

at first i did not get this sensation.........but soon after i began succeeding....I always got a rush, even if I struck out!

i'ts fun man!

I mean it should be, It's natural, you go up to a girl, that is making eye contact with you, you have a huge grin on your face, your eyes are all happy, and you say a simple word......"Hello"

thats all you need.

"Hi I am so and so, what's your name".......the rest is history