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HOROSCOPE 2007.
1. Write the name of a person of the opposite sex.
2. Which is your favourite colour out of red, black, blue, and green, yellow?
3. Your first initial?
4. Your month of birth?
5. Which colour do you like more, black or white?
6. Name of a person of the same sex as yours.
7. Your favourite number?
8. Do you like Sydney or Brisbane more?
9. Do you like a lake or the ocean more?
10. Write down a wish (a realistic one).
When you're done, scroll down. (Don't cheat)
Answers
1. You are completely in love with this person. They, however, hate your guts.
2. If you choose:
Red - You are alert and your life is full of love. Unfortunately, this love comes from four legged companions and it's acts are illegal by Congress.
Black - You are conservative and aggressive. But your spouse's white parents can't stand you and lock up their television set prior to your visits there.
Green - Your soul is relaxed and you are laid back. You jealous bitch.
Blue - You are spontaneous and love kisses and affection from the ones you love. But since you are lonely with no end in sight, kisses and affection are a foreign concept to you.
Yellow - You are a very happy person and give good advice to those who are down. Big Bird is your fucking hero.
3. If your initial is:
A-K You have a lot of love to give in friendships in your life. But no friends. Which is mainly due in fact to that B.O. problem.
L-R You try to enjoy your life to the maximum and your love life is soon to blossom. Unfortunately, it will be in the form of passive necrophilia as fate has dictated you will die 48 hours before it does.
S-Z You like to help others and your future love life looks very good. You will find a hooker that lets you pay in installments.
4. If you were born in:
Jan-Mar:
The year will go very well for you and you will discover that you fall in love with someone totally unexpected. And just as unexpected, they slap a restraining order on your ass and their spouse beats the holy hell out of you.
April-June:
You will have a strong love relationship that will last long and the memories will last forever. Due in fact that you are both in lockdown and serving consecutive life terms.
July-Sep:
You will have a great year and will experience a major life-changing experience for the good. Meaning you will lose all your limbs and no longer be able to squeeze the zits on your face until they are scabbed over. On the bright side however, there is the $40K disability check from your employer to look forward too.
Oct-Dec:
Your love life will not be too great, but eventually you will find your soul mate. They, however will have already found theirs. Sucks to be you.
5. If you chose.....
Black:
Your life will take on a different direction, it will be the best thing for you, and you will be glad for the change. By change, it is refering to the tranny sex change becoming a reality.
White:
You will have a friend who completely confides in you and would do anything for you, but you may not realize it. Until of course, you are implicated in his crimes and sentenced to prison for not reporting the nut job.
6. This person is your best friend. But is sleeping with your significUnt other behind your back. By the way, that money you loaned him? Paid for their last trip to Catskills.
7. This is how many close friends you have in your lifetime. For a more accurate estimate, subtract this number from itself and there is where the truth lies.
8. If you chose:
Sydney:
You like adventure.
Crikey mate, them there Ozzies are hung like the wallaby. Careful now.
Brisbane:
You are a laid back person. And a fucking nerd for even knowing of this place.
9. If you chose:
Lake:
You are loyal to your friends and your lover and are very reserved. And like a lake, polluted to hell and back. That oily complex is there for life girl. Get over it.
Ocean:
You are spontaneous and like to please people. Which makes you the ideal candidate for working the opposite side of the glory hole in truckstop rest rooms.
10. This wish will come true only if you send this to five people in one hour. Send it to ten people, and it will come true before your next birthday! Send it to more and you just need a damn life.
1. Write the name of a person of the opposite sex.
2. Which is your favourite colour out of red, black, blue, and green, yellow?
3. Your first initial?
4. Your month of birth?
5. Which colour do you like more, black or white?
6. Name of a person of the same sex as yours.
7. Your favourite number?
8. Do you like Sydney or Brisbane more?
9. Do you like a lake or the ocean more?
10. Write down a wish (a realistic one).
When you're done, scroll down. (Don't cheat)
Answers
1. You are completely in love with this person. They, however, hate your guts.
2. If you choose:
Red - You are alert and your life is full of love. Unfortunately, this love comes from four legged companions and it's acts are illegal by Congress.
Black - You are conservative and aggressive. But your spouse's white parents can't stand you and lock up their television set prior to your visits there.
Green - Your soul is relaxed and you are laid back. You jealous bitch.
Blue - You are spontaneous and love kisses and affection from the ones you love. But since you are lonely with no end in sight, kisses and affection are a foreign concept to you.
Yellow - You are a very happy person and give good advice to those who are down. Big Bird is your fucking hero.
3. If your initial is:
A-K You have a lot of love to give in friendships in your life. But no friends. Which is mainly due in fact to that B.O. problem.
L-R You try to enjoy your life to the maximum and your love life is soon to blossom. Unfortunately, it will be in the form of passive necrophilia as fate has dictated you will die 48 hours before it does.
S-Z You like to help others and your future love life looks very good. You will find a hooker that lets you pay in installments.
4. If you were born in:
Jan-Mar:
The year will go very well for you and you will discover that you fall in love with someone totally unexpected. And just as unexpected, they slap a restraining order on your ass and their spouse beats the holy hell out of you.
April-June:
You will have a strong love relationship that will last long and the memories will last forever. Due in fact that you are both in lockdown and serving consecutive life terms.
July-Sep:
You will have a great year and will experience a major life-changing experience for the good. Meaning you will lose all your limbs and no longer be able to squeeze the zits on your face until they are scabbed over. On the bright side however, there is the $40K disability check from your employer to look forward too.
Oct-Dec:
Your love life will not be too great, but eventually you will find your soul mate. They, however will have already found theirs. Sucks to be you.
5. If you chose.....
Black:
Your life will take on a different direction, it will be the best thing for you, and you will be glad for the change. By change, it is refering to the tranny sex change becoming a reality.
White:
You will have a friend who completely confides in you and would do anything for you, but you may not realize it. Until of course, you are implicated in his crimes and sentenced to prison for not reporting the nut job.
6. This person is your best friend. But is sleeping with your significUnt other behind your back. By the way, that money you loaned him? Paid for their last trip to Catskills.
7. This is how many close friends you have in your lifetime. For a more accurate estimate, subtract this number from itself and there is where the truth lies.
8. If you chose:
Sydney:
You like adventure.
Crikey mate, them there Ozzies are hung like the wallaby. Careful now.
Brisbane:
You are a laid back person. And a fucking nerd for even knowing of this place.
9. If you chose:
Lake:
You are loyal to your friends and your lover and are very reserved. And like a lake, polluted to hell and back. That oily complex is there for life girl. Get over it.
Ocean:
You are spontaneous and like to please people. Which makes you the ideal candidate for working the opposite side of the glory hole in truckstop rest rooms.
10. This wish will come true only if you send this to five people in one hour. Send it to ten people, and it will come true before your next birthday! Send it to more and you just need a damn life.
