T
the_clockwork
Guest
This is a thread that all can enjoy.. Well unless you are a woman then you probably will not enjoy it, so best just open it and give me karma & leave
If you could tell your ex's anything you wanted in an open letter what would you say to them. Here are some examples:
Kristina - You were 16, I was 17. Though you resembled a Big Bird caricature you did me the supreme favor of allowing me my first go at sexual intercourse. And I did you the favor of lasting exactly 1.5 seconds, then falling off the bed and knocking myself unconscious by cracking my head on a bookshelf on the way down. I still have a scar on the back of my head from that. Sorry I refused to go with you to Planned Parenthood for the morning after pill the next day.
Emily - When I took you to senior prom, you were smoking hot and engaged to be married to some 26 year old douche bag. Nearly two years later to the day I was jarred from a tequila inspired blackout to find me burying my penis in your ass so hard you'd have sworn that I was headed to the electric chair in 15 minutes time. And you had gotten fat. Real shame about the divorce, none of us had expected that your ex-husband would be brought up on possession of child pornography charges.
Alissa - Proof that a dipshit will do anything for a pretty face. You had a rabid cocaine habit, an eating disorder, and a bad habit of calling your ex-boyfriends at exactly the wrong times (maybe JH1's ex wife?). But you also had fake tits, no self esteem, and sucked dick as though it were the purpose for which God had put you on Earth(maybe JH1's ex wife?). You and I saw each other for a year before imploding, making you the longest relationship that I've been able to sustain to date. I accidentally once made out with one of your mother's friends at a dinner party you'd invited me to. Whoopies. But please keep sending me those naked pictures of yourself (maybe JH1's ex wife?).
If you could tell your ex's anything you wanted in an open letter what would you say to them. Here are some examples:
Kristina - You were 16, I was 17. Though you resembled a Big Bird caricature you did me the supreme favor of allowing me my first go at sexual intercourse. And I did you the favor of lasting exactly 1.5 seconds, then falling off the bed and knocking myself unconscious by cracking my head on a bookshelf on the way down. I still have a scar on the back of my head from that. Sorry I refused to go with you to Planned Parenthood for the morning after pill the next day.
Emily - When I took you to senior prom, you were smoking hot and engaged to be married to some 26 year old douche bag. Nearly two years later to the day I was jarred from a tequila inspired blackout to find me burying my penis in your ass so hard you'd have sworn that I was headed to the electric chair in 15 minutes time. And you had gotten fat. Real shame about the divorce, none of us had expected that your ex-husband would be brought up on possession of child pornography charges.
Alissa - Proof that a dipshit will do anything for a pretty face. You had a rabid cocaine habit, an eating disorder, and a bad habit of calling your ex-boyfriends at exactly the wrong times (maybe JH1's ex wife?). But you also had fake tits, no self esteem, and sucked dick as though it were the purpose for which God had put you on Earth(maybe JH1's ex wife?). You and I saw each other for a year before imploding, making you the longest relationship that I've been able to sustain to date. I accidentally once made out with one of your mother's friends at a dinner party you'd invited me to. Whoopies. But please keep sending me those naked pictures of yourself (maybe JH1's ex wife?).