|
|
 |
 |
|
 Elite Fitness Bodybuilding, Anabolics, Diet, Life Extension, Wellness, Supplements, and Training Boards
 Chat & Conversation
 Everyone 's Advice is Needed Here...........
|
| Author | Topic: Everyone 's Advice is Needed Here........... | ||
|
Freak 
Posts: 1762 |
I know this is very personal to discuss, but I am just trying to understand this in a MATURE way right now. My BF is in the middle of a very nasty divorce, well the divorce hasn't happened yet, but Friday is the Custody Conference, then a hearing is to follow a few weeks later. His ex wife is being very nice now to his face, and acting like she is agreeing to everything where his son is concerned, well we found out last night that she really is going behind his back and trying to make it to where he will have no visitation rights at all. And this bitch agreed that my BF could have his son on every other weekend and one night a week, now we find out 2 days before the hearing, she is writing down dates and times when he picks up his son and drops him off, is trying to have a background check done on him. Well You guys know me, I did some digging and found out that over 69% of the time she is having the baby left with a 16year old girl, while the ex is out partying and what have you. No less his son has a medical condition to where he HAS to go to the doctor twice a month. She hasnt taken him the last two times, and lied about where she was at, and the same goes with her lying about being at work 1/2 the time, when really she isn't! And she is 2 months behind on the rent! So what the fuck is she doing with the chils support $$ he gives her every fucking month? Stupid Bitch!!! OOOhhh, I am so pissed off!! So do you think of any possible way that is submissable in court that we can get evidence against her? We just got a PI last night to start watching her on Friday.    | ||
|
Freak
Posts: 1699 |
You're doing all you can by hiring the detective. Document all the financial issues as well. Good luck in your walk through hell. ------------------  | ||
|
Amateur Bodybuilder 
Posts: 251 |
Maybe you should quit going to the Loft so often and getting blitzed, that could look bad in custody hearings. Seriously though, if you need any help, you know where to find me. I'm sure "something" could be done. hehe | ||
|
Freak
Posts: 1762 |
K, I already thought of calling my uncle and the Pegans, but they will only "do something" if it gets very bad! So we are trying to do what we can on our own now. As for the Loft you know that I haven't been out in over 3 months so be quiet. I know you were just joking, but I may end up needing your help as well. Thanks! | ||
|
Amateur Bodybuilder
Posts: 251 |
Well, as I'm sure you know, the Pagans work under the family. So either way you go, you might end up getting them anyways. Still, if you need it, you know where I am......
[This message has been edited by YAKUZA (edited November 16, 2000).] | ||
|
Guru 
Posts: 2004 |
detective is a waste of cash... half the time they dont go to their files but keep good "fake" notes... be careful and you may wanna drive by just to see if he is there... TRUST ME ON THIS ONE!!! been there done that. as for the woman, she sounds like she is bitter and really doesnt care if she hurts her son, she just wants to hurt this man, i dont think the judge will go for it... unless the guys a prick. | ||
|
Amateur Bodybuilder
Posts: 235 |
i hate bitches like that dlady. my little girl will be a year old next month. her mother did'nt even bother to tell me she was even pregnant.( i did wear a condom, it slid off inside her)i figure i better state that. well anyways, she sent me a letter in the mail a month after janelle was born with a baby picture stating i was a father. fucked me up . i cried for three days. everything is cool now. i have a little girl i love alot, and the mother and i have worked out everything by ourselves. no courts! it's with my little girl being seven hours away thats tough, but i know she is in good hands. so the point i guess i am trying to make is everything always works out. regardless how it seems the bitch will get whats coming to her. keep your heads up, and keep the faith. we are all behind you and hear for you! ------------------ | ||
|
Pro Bodybuilder 
Posts: 397 |
Dlady - please be carefull with how much time you spend with him (BF) until the papers are actually signed. Her lawyer would love to tell the judge that he was already involved in another relationship before their divorce was final. Now I know that ain't how it is, but the other side will see it that way. Hang in there girl. Good luck. ------------------ The moral? It doesn't matter whether you are a lion or a gazelle, when the sun comes up - you had better be running. | ||
|
Freak
Posts: 1762 |
MB, we already planned on doing some drive bys on our own, and we are also going to start going over there in the middle of the night to see if her car is home, as well as call to tell the baby goodnight. He is also going to take pics of here coming and going as well. How can we go about getting her caught entering a bar every night, and leaving it too? Vidoe Tape? Is that the best way? He is asking for a continuance on the hearing Friday afternoon so we can start to do this stuff. Also, YES all she cares about now i s hurting my BF and making him miserable, she doesnt care one iota about her son, for christ's sakes she leaves him with the sitter from 10 at night until 5 am, then she doesnt even feed him in the mornings either, she said" he doesn t like to eat breakfast" Now what 1 year old do you know that doesnt like to eat in the AM? C'mon, this girl is only wanting to have her son so she never has to work again, my BF makes very good $$ and 1/2 is going to her now. Can we use this type of stuff in court? | ||
|
Freak
Posts: 1762 |
Shadow, thanks but that is already covered up, has been for months now. Yak, email me back so I can give you my new # at home, He may want to talk to you later on. Thanks | ||
|
Pro Bodybuilder
Posts: 598 |
Shadow -- that's exactly how it is. For months, at least, by D's own admission. D -- your "boyfriend" is somebody's husband -- even if in name only. There are a lot of factors here and it sounds like a lose-lose. Personally, I reccommend you stay clear of the whole deal until the papers and custody are final. It doesn't sound like either side is a responsible party here. And unfortunately, the child is caught in the middle. So what are his plans? Is he trying to get custody or just maintain visitation? | ||
|
Freak
Posts: 1762 |
Big Truck He works too many hours a week to have custody, plus he doesnt want to hurt his son, by taking her out of his life forever, so he want to have him every other wknd, and one week night. And split the holidays together. But she is going to try and make it so he cant have his son at all. My Bf has no criminal records, and is in NO way an unfit father, so I know she cannot do way she is trying to do. They split up in June, I never met him until August, so as far as I am concerned he is divorced already, and is MY boyfriend. He doesnt want to ever get back with her, no chance. So that I am not worried about at all. And she has no idea I even exsist in his life, which is a good thing and will stay that way until the papers are taken care of. Any other advice? WODIN, what financial papers would you be taking about? Domestic Relations already takes out of his paychecks, so that is taken care of already. And they said there is no way HE has any say on what she does with that $$$. What the fuck she should have to provide for the baby first! | ||
|
Guru
Posts: 2004 |
d- if your PI is talking about pictures and not video tape, drop his ass... video tape is far more accepted then pictures... pictures could be from anywhere, and only show a split second worth of time, video tape shows actual actions, it shows her going into the bar, it shows her walking out, it shows her getting in her car and driving home, likely drunk... he can bring is cam in the place under his jacket or if he is worth a shit he will have the mini cam with a beeper case and could show her getting hammered (which isnt wrong in any way). how did you find the PI? | ||
|
Freak
Posts: 1762 |
Referred to me by a State Cop I know here in PA, why? | ||
|
Guru
Posts: 2004 |
CUZ, SOME OF THEM ARENT WORTH SHIT... I WASNT.  IF A STATE TROOPER GAVE HIM TO YOU THEN THE GUY SHOULD BE OK AT LEAST... AND DONT LET HER SEE YOU DRIVING BY... | ||
|
Freak
Posts: 1762 |
Oh I won't Don't worry and she doesnt know what I look like nor what kind of vehile I own. Any thing else you think of let me know. | ||
|
Elite Bodybuilder 
Posts: 666 |
Why are you dating a guy who is married? | ||
|
Freak
Posts: 1762 |
You people always seems to make something BAD out of everything I do, do you guys realize this? MP5. when I met this guy it was late August, he left her in June, meaning he wasnt living with her when I met him, nor did I know him before he left her, he didnt leave her because of me! the divorce was already begun then, so he wont be married for much longer, and he is now living with me, not her okay. God! | ||
|
Guru
Posts: 2004 |
I DONT SEE THIS AS WRONG, I THINK ONCE THE MARRIAGE IS OVER ITS OVER, AND HE NOT LIVING WITH HER CONSTITUTES THAT. | ||
|
Pro Bodybuilder
Posts: 598 |
You're sure he's not playing you too? (Not flaming, just asking) Why is he divorcing his wife? Has he cheated on her before? Her on him? How long were they together? How old is the child? I'm not suggesting that you seeing him is bad -- given the circumstances as you describe them, and if your relationship had no impact on his marriage because he didn't meet you until after they were separated and after they as a couple had exhausted all alternatives to divorce -- (Sounds like a lot of ifs though) I'm will say that 'technically' he is still married and that divorces can bring a lot of things out between the people involved -- and that you could easily be hurt in that process. Technically, he is married and technically, he is committing adultery -- especially if he is living w/ you. Her lawyers will use that. Especially if she is as nasty as you make her sound. I hope all turns out well though. Not trying to make a villian out of you, just didn't have all the details. Make sure you're not being taken advantage of. Good luck. [This message has been edited by BigTruck (edited November 16, 2000).] [This message has been edited by BigTruck (edited November 16, 2000).] | ||
|
Elite Bodybuilder
Posts: 1046 |
Lets see if I got this straight. #1 He is married and seeing you? Someone who plays two guys at the same time? yeah, if I was that baby's mother, I would be insisting on a background check as well and also controlled visitation rights. Sorry I got no sympathy for you at all, sounds like the two of you deserve all the stress you have coming. And if he gets pissed and takes it out on you, well I guess that is just bad karma coming back around from you and the first guy right? I am 25 and I am a single parent. READ: FULL TIME FATHER ALL BY MYSELF I DO IT ALL, NO HELP FROM ANYONE. So I don't want to hear that He Aint Got Time shit. If he quit spending so much with you, he will have more to devote to his child.
[This message has been edited by Jae (edited November 16, 2000).] | ||
|
Freak
Posts: 1762 |
NO ONE KNOWS HE IS WITH ME JAE! YOU ASS, I CAN SAY IN HIS DEFENSE I DONT THINK HE WANTS TO BE A FULL TIME FATHER, HE WANTS HER TO HAVE PARENTAL RIGHTS ALSO. AND I AM SURE IT IS VERY HARD FOR YOU TO RAISE A CHILD ON YOUR OWN. GLAD IT IS YOU AND NOT ME, POWER TO YOU. THEY WERE TOGETHER FOR 4 YEARS, HE LEFT CASUE SHE IS THE GIRL YOU ALL HATE... WAS SKINNY, HAD CHILD, GAVE OUT NO LOVIN'S, AND BECAME A SLOB, NEVER CLEANED, NEVER WORKED, AND IS NOW A FAT PEICE OF SHIT. SHE WAS A PRETTY GIRL, NOW SHE IS LIKE 170 LBS AND ONLY 5'5. ALL SHE WANTS IS TO LIVE OFF OF SOMEONE ELSE HER WHOLE LIFE, SHE DOESNT CARE WHO IT IS. IN THE STATE OF PA WE HAVE NO SUCH THING AS ADULTERY, SORRY. AND YES I WONDER EVERYDAY IF I AM JUST A PLAY TOY TO HIM, BUT THERE ARE THOSE FEW MEN WHO ARE ACTUALLY HONEST, SO DONT SLAM ON HIM, CAUSE NONE OF YOU KNOW HIM, OK. AND I HAVE NEVER SAID ANYTHING TO MAKE YOU THINK BAD OF HIM EITHER.
[This message has been edited by Dlady27 (edited November 16, 2000).] | ||
|
Pro Bodybuilder
Posts: 598 |
Are you yelling at me? | ||
|
Freak
Posts: 1762 |
no no BigTruck, I wouldnt yell at you sorry for the CAPS. You give good advice to me so far. I was YELLING AT JAE! JERK. Can he ever say something nice to anyone here? just forget it, i thought you people would understand something like this, i was wrong. | ||
|
Elite Bodybuilder
Posts: 666 |
Well if you are going to be a bitch about it...Did you ever think that this is none of your business anyway? It is between the husband and wife, you should not even get involved. | ||
|
Elite Bodybuilder
Posts: 1046 |
[QUOTE]Originally posted by Dlady27: [B]NO ONE KNOWS HE IS WITH ME JAE! YOU ASS,[B] Everyone here knows it now. And I can bet you that childs mother knows it too.
What the Fuck? And you think he is boyfriend material. This is a sure sign of lack of committment. [B]HE WANTS HER TO HAVE PARENTAL RIGHTS ALSO[B] He better want that. He doesn't have a choice about it. She is getting custody, there is no way around that one. Courts favor the women, it took me three tries and $80,000 to get mine. And I was only 21 years old. Try explaining to a judge where you got $80,000 in court costs when you were still a college student.
Maybe now it makes sense why she is going out to bars, he probably did not let her do that. You don't know the entire situation, only what he has told you and who on this board will bet me money that he has not been honest with you? [B]IN THE STATE OF PA WE HAVE NO SUCH THING AS ADULTERY, SORRY.[B] Really? So there is no reprecussions for cheating? Let's all move to PA and justify our actions. If you believe that, I have a bridge to sell you. [B]SOME TIMES PEOPLE GET INVOLVED WITH THE WRONG PERSON AND GET BURNED, HE REGETS EVER MEETING HER IN HIS LIFETIME.[B] With that child, she is going to be in his life for a long, long time to come. Get used to it sister. She is sticking around. And with child support and soon-to-be alimony on the way, you can bet she isn't going anywhere.
That WAS my advice. Just because it didn't favor you and Mr. I-Don't-Have-Time-To-Be-A-Father, that doesn't mean it wasn't good advice. Taaaa-Dahhhhh!! The Great Carnac reads the future again. | ||
|
Moderator
Posts: 1854 |
D, Is this the same guy that was doing the cocaine or is this another one? Because that's not going to play real well in the courts. Advice: find a new boyfriend. This guy is a loser. | ||
|
Elite Bodybuilder
Posts: 1046 |
And I am sure I have said something nice on this board about someone. Maybe even a few, maybe even many, (can anyone vouch for me?) just not you. And that is my fault? gee, I am sorry, please forgive me. Let's see..... I am sure I will think of something nice to say about you. Post something that doesn't have anything to do with cheating guys and playing with hearts, getting involved in a personal situation of two other people WHICH IS NO BUSINESS OF YOURS..... and just generally being an idiot at seeing the truth. Post something that is not along those lines and I will compliment you my pretty. | ||
|
Elite Bodybuilder
Posts: 1046 |
Oh god, he did cocaine? Wow, wonder how I missed that one. | ||
|
Elite Bodybuilder
Posts: 1321 |
Almost every child custody battle becomes pretty messy, as both sides usually trade lies back and forth. Unless someone in a legal position records some of actions that the two parties are partaking in , I doubt the evidence will be admissable in a court of law. I'm not sure where a private investigator would fit in there, but it probably can't hurt. Has he ran a background check on her? | ||
|
Moderator
Posts: 1854 |
Jae, You have said a lot of nice things about me, even though you're an Oracle DBA. :-) | ||
|
Pro Bodybuilder
Posts: 406 |
Jae..just out of curiosity...didn't you say you've been with your older lady 6 years? And you're 25? I know Im bad at math but... | ||
|
Pro Bodybuilder
Posts: 598 |
I'll vouch for ya Jae. | ||
|
Freak
Posts: 1762 |
you are soooooooooooooooo wrong Jae, In the state of PA we DO NOT have adultry, found this out long ago when my brothers wife tried to get him for cheating, she didnt get shit out of it. ANd we already know in this state it is very rare that the father is awarded total 100% custody of a child. Unless she is a murderer or something that wont happen. I dont care if she stays in the babies life I want her too, but I want her to act like an adult about this not a heartless bitch! ANd I will write the outcome of this on Monday to tell you what happened. I dont think it will be as you say. matt, not the coke guy! [This message has been edited by Dlady27 (edited November 16, 2000).] | ||
|
Elite Bodybuilder
Posts: 1046 |
Matt: You know Oracle is the way to go.. come on, I am trying to lure you over to our side. Kat: Yes, 25 years old, met my girlfriend when I was 19, she was 33, my son was born when I was 18 (I started early), and he is in second grade now. Just turned 7 the 12th of this month, ( and he is still complaining none of you mofo's sent him anything.) Truck: Thanks, did you ever get the book?
| ||
|
Pro Bodybuilder
Posts: 406 |
Single dad, eh Jae?? Ohhhh....you've got big balls, that's for sure. Mr. Responsible...yeeesh, You really DO remind me of my brother! | ||
|
Pro Bodybuilder
Posts: 598 |
Jae -- No man, I thought you didn't send it. Bummer. When did you send it out? Maybe it will still get here. Sorry to hear bro. Thanks for the trouble though. I'll check around tonight, maybe my wife misplaced it somewhere (she's the one that gets the mail)... Let me know how much you're out, the least I can do is send you a few $$ to cover costs... Thanks again bro. | ||
|
Elite Bodybuilder
Posts: 1046 |
Kat: Thanks, someone has to do it. I wouldn't trade that experience for anything. I am lucky I was smart enough to make some decisions career wise that allows me the $$$ and time to devote to him. Truck: I sent it a couple of weeks ago by regular mail. I had some pics of single women in there for you to look over too that may be why you didn't get it. Damn single postal workers. (kidding there) Dlady: Lucky are you that I did not see this post at 9AM this morning when I started working. Or I would have given you hell for bad judgement all day long. You are lucky I am signing off now to go pick up my son from school now. And if you really want to hear me flame someone, you put that deadbeat on here with his own handle and let him post that little story about how He Doesn't Have Time To Be A Father. God I could just puke. | ||
|
Pro Bodybuilder
Posts: 598 |
Well Hell, I'll look around. Have a good night Jae. | ||
|
Elite Bodybuilder
Posts: 666 |
Don't worry Jae, I think you are a dick, but I am a dick too that is why we see eye to eye. | ||
|
Pro Bodybuilder
Posts: 457 |
Theres way too many people to get involved with who dont have baggage and are fucked up. You knew exactly what you were getting into Dlady, try to find a better method of meeting guys so you dont constantly hook up with guys whose lives are chaotic. ------------------ | ||
|
Amateur Bodybuilder
Posts: 117 |
This will get ugly,but gotta be done when a kid is involved.I went through a real nasty custody battle 12 years ago and won full custody,so the man can win these.Took months and months of motions and lawyers and loans and friggin every wanna do-gooder the county could come up with.But it was worth it and I'd do it again in a heartbeat.Now my son wasn't being abused like your bf's is.....if that were the case I would consider ALL options. | ||
|
Amateur Bodybuilder
Posts: 62 |
I feel for you "D" but this isn't really your problem. Sorry if this sounds a little sour, but it is the truth. You might be, and probably are a distraction right now. This guy needs to take care of business. He needs a lawyer to draw up papers, and he should be totally honest with the lawyer. If the guy wants to be a full time dad he needs to act like one... he needs to show everyone that he will be there for his kid in any situation, not just every other weekend, and once a week. The courts have it bad for dads these days, and it makes proving their case that much tougher. In my opinion, you should step back. If you aren't totally sure that this relationship is going somewhere serious, just let it go. You don't need the hassles. Don't want to offend you "D". Just speaking my mind, and it isn't always pretty. |
All times are ET (US) | |
 |
Powered by Infopop www.infopop.com © 2000
Ultimate Bulletin Board 5.45c
posted November 16, 2000 08:31 AM
AACK!!!