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Author Topic:   POST YOUR BEST JOKE
Steak Helmet

Pro Bodybuilder

Posts: 306
From:Moscow
Registered: Apr 2000

posted February 05, 2001 09:12 PM

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1. What do smart women and UFO's have in common???

you often hear about them but never see them.

2. How can you tell when a woman has an orgasm?

WHO CARES

3. what do you do when the dishwasher breaks down?

Slap her

4. What is green and does my laundry?
My bitch and I will paint her any color I want

Ok enough women jokes...

TELL ME YOUR BEST JOKE


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havoc

Guru

Posts: 3388
From:The 27th Century, USAtiva
Registered: Jul 2000

posted February 05, 2001 09:22 PM

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There was a White racist, a hispanic man and a black man. All 3 were walking on the beach together when they came across a bottle. Poof, all of a sudden the bottle opened and a genie popped out. The genie said I will grant each of you one wish. The hispanic gentleman went first, he wished that all his people could be taken back to Mexico and Latin countries, poof it was done, the black man wished the same thing for his fellow bretheren as well which was to be back in Africa or the respected countries where they were supposed to be. The white racist man said "Ok, all the hispanics and blacks are gone","genie, give me a coke".

I must add that this joke can be changed up, it could of taken place in Mexico or Africa so I dont want to hear some racial bullshit. If it offends you then grow stronger. peace

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danielson

Amateur Bodybuilder

Posts: 197
From:london
Registered: Jul 2000

posted February 05, 2001 09:43 PM

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Bill Clinton wants to make peace with saddam and agrees to fly over to saddams presedential palace to talk. saddam takes him into a room with a desk, a chair for clinton, and a huge chair for saddam with 3 buttons on the arm rest. Bill sits down. He starts talking about wanting to loft sanctions against iraq when saddam suddenly presses a button. a whole in the ceiling appears and a bucket full of cow dung falls onto clinton. Clinton wipes himself of, and maintaining dignity, says to himself he's got to give peace a chance. meanwhile saddam has a huge smile on his face. Clinto continues to talk about oil revenue in iraq when saddam presses another button. 2 clothes pegs shoot out from clitons chair and clip onto his nipples and an electric current is passed through them. clinton jumps up and starts screaming at saddam, while saddam starts chuckling away. clinton sits down saying to hi,mself he's gotta give peace one more try. he begins to tak again, when saddam presses the final button, and a hydraulic boxing glove hits clinton in the family jewels. clinton jumps up in rage, and screams he's returning to washington, while saddam is busting a nut laughing.

a week later, saddam gets an invite by clinto to come to america. saddam is led into to the oval office where there is a desk, a chair for clinton, and a huge chair for clinton with 3 buttons on the arm rest. saddam gets whats up immeadiately. saddam sits down and asks clinton why he has asked him here. clinton smiles and presses the first button. saddam jumps oput of his chair with cat like reflexes and runs for cover...but nothing happens. annoyed, saddam returns to his chair. saddam begins to talk again about why clinton is still interested in peace when clinton hits the second button. saddam falls off the chair and crawls behind it..but again nothing. saddam is livid and swears abuse at clinto, while clinton is laughing away. finally saddam sits down, and before he opens his mouth, clinton hits the third button. saddam jumps down, smashing his head on the desk, but nothing happens. clinton falls off his chair laughing. saddam stands up and shouts 'that is it. i'm going back to bagdad'

clinton, still in tears, cries 'what bagdad?'

i thought this was cool myuself.

------------------

I is a brown belt in kama sutra, aiii


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Burnboy

Elite Bodybuilder

Posts: 965
From:
Registered: Jul 2000

posted February 05, 2001 09:44 PM

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whats the difference between an onion and a hooker?
you dont cry when you chop up a hooker

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http://pub33.ezboard.com/bburnboy

"I used to be a diabetic 'till i kicked it."
-Jerri Blank responding to the bruises on her arm

"May all of your showers be golden." - Jerri Blank

"I cried when I had no shoes, until I met a man who had no feet. Then I laughed...really hard."
-Jerri Blank


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rancid

Amateur Bodybuilder

Posts: 190
From:yuma,az. usa
Registered: Jul 2000

posted February 06, 2001 12:03 AM

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Jack & jill go up the hill both with a buck and a quarter, Jill comes down with two fifty, the Fucking Whore!


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Big Joe

Amateur Bodybuilder

Posts: 95
From:
Registered: Dec 2000

posted February 06, 2001 12:26 AM

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A guy with a huge orange head goes in to see a doctor.
The doctor says, "How did you get such a huge orange head?"
The guy says, "Well, one day I was walking down the beach when I tripped over an old lantern. A genie came out and said, I'll grant you three wishes, whatever you desire...what is your first wish?' I said, I'd like all the money I could ever spend.' The genie went Poof!', and there it was, all the money I could ever spend. Then he said, What is your second wish?' I said, I'd like a beautiful woman to love me, someone I could enjoy this money with.' The genie went Poof!', and there she was, a gorgeous girl who immediately loved me. Then the genie said, And what is your third wish?'...and I think this is where I went wrong...I said, I'd like a huge orange head.'


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Rico

Amateur Bodybuilder

Posts: 63
From:
Registered: Jan 2001

posted February 06, 2001 12:34 AM

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What happened to the girl who put her panties on backwards?

She got her ass chewed out!


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