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Things guys can't do without looking gay, no matter what

lots of penises all up in this thread


well 2
 
Lestat said:
drinking from a straw
dancing
crying
sucking a cock
Click to expand...

I've been told I cry like a man....no sobbing or any of that gay shit...Tears just start falling down my face and I show no expression...
 
CLOGS: If you are not a chef, or lack some other compelling podiatric reason for wearing them in public, clogs are a little too, uh, cloggy. It looks like you belong on a paint can or with your finger in a dike.

LEATHER PANTS: Ooh, mack daddy! Where's the motorcycle? Probably parked at the Y-M-C-A.
 
SYNTHETIC-FUR COATS: The teddy-bear- or gorilla-looking variety -- like the one that the spandex guy on Queer as Folk wears. There should be a People for the Ethical Treatment of Synthetics.
 
THE UNIFORM: A monochromatic dark-blue or black Gucci or Prada head-to-toe ensemble with peg-leg pants doesn't really make you look too gay -- it makes you look too gay-hotel-doorman.
 
foreigngirl said:
lol...I would like to see a pic of that
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They were all destroyed in the infamous flooding of the basement. Believe it or not, the only two pics that survived, were two of me when I was a kid in my older brothers baseball uniform. And damn was I cute.

starfish said:
color or highlighting their hair. :rainbow:
Click to expand...

You can't have bon jovi hair without frosting it. So yeah...I'm guilty there too.
 
Lestat said:
drinking from a straw
dancing
crying
sucking a cock
Click to expand...

lmao! There is nothing worse than some drunk asshole out there on the dancefloor trying to do the Hokie-Pokie or the Chicken dance. But lo and behold at every wedding there are always those few assholes. And yes they look gay
 
jack_schitt said:
You can't have bon jovi hair without frosting it. So yeah...I'm guilty there too.
Click to expand...


Bleached or frosted hair for sure, Billy Idol today, Quentin Crisp tomorrow. And don't even think about plucking your eyebrows.
 
The only exception to the dancing thing is if you are Glenn Ross and are doing the bear dance. No way a 400lb hairy Irishman can look gay doing that.

Cheers,
Scotsman
 
TIGHT STRETCH SPANDEX OR LYCRA: Unnecessary muscles are way demodé, especially when worn in conjunction with tight T-shirts. Pumping irony is much preferable.
 
jack_schitt said:
They were all destroyed in the infamous flooding of the basement. Believe it or not, the only two pics that survived, were two of me when I was a kid in my older brothers baseball uniform. And damn was I cute.



You can't have bon jovi hair without frosting it. So yeah...I'm guilty there too.
Click to expand...

well, you have to let someone else judge if you are still cute
 
Own a Miata. What type of fucking pathetic no testicle loser faggot owns a Miata unless they suck cock?

Here's another one - fucking poodles. I don't care how sexy that poodle was acting, you're a fucking fag if you fuck it. Large breed dogs are a different story, but you look like a fucking pathetic no testicle loser faggot if you fuck poodles. Best thing to do when the poodle starts acting sexy is to spit on it then rip out it's intestines with your bare hand and use them for decorations.
 
PATTERN ON PATTERN: A plaid buttondown under a plaid jacket with a Burberry tie? It might have looked good on that mannequin in the window -- but he never moves. Too display-department.

TOO INTERESTING FOOTWEAR: This includes anything that looks like it was once part of a pony. Or patent-leather shoes -- especially white Guccis with hardware. The only reason for having a bit on your shoe is if you plan on putting your foot in your mouth.

TWO EARRINGS: I don't care if you're a power forward in the NBA, wearing earrings in both ears -- especially matching ones -- is a little too symmetrical. If The Odd Couple were made today, Felix Unger would wear two earrings.

GOATEES, CHIN PUBES, AND TIN TIN HAIRCUTS: You know that butch crop, waxed up in the front like a wave about to break? Suddenly, there are an awful lot of guys who look like Tin Tin
 
Watching other guys piss. I don't give a shit who's drug testing you, if you have to watch another guy piss, you are a queer and obviously want that cock rammed up your ass repeatedly.
 
Oderus_Urungus said:
Watching other guys piss. I don't give a shit who's drug testing you, if you have to watch another guy piss, you are a queer and obviously want that cock rammed up your ass repeatedly.
Click to expand...

Doctors, so geigh.
 
:lmao: Good list Lestat.
 
Wearing a skirt, saw a guy this summer walking down a busy street wearing a skirt ... not a kilt mind you ...

Carrying a purse -- as opposed to HOLDING the wife's purse while she's in the dressing room.

Wearing those fishnet shirts.

Wearing shorts that are too short pulled up even shorter, that are too tight, and look suspiciously stuffed to boot.

Oh yeah, and makeup and high heeled anything unless your name is Gene Simmons, Ozzy Osbourne, or Prince.
 
Oderus_Urungus said:
Watching other guys piss. I don't give a shit who's drug testing you, if you have to watch another guy piss, you are a queer and obviously want that cock rammed up your ass repeatedly.
Click to expand...

Pissed off about your probation drug tests?
 
JavaGuru said:
Pissed off about your probation drug tests?
Click to expand...

Shortly after we were able to escape from Antarctica, me and the rest of the crew tried to blend into society. It didn't last long. I tried to join the military, I mean, after all, getting paid to kill seemed like a good deal. They wanted me to piss in a cup to test for drugs. They sent a pecker checker into the bathroom with me. I asked if he had a problem, to which he smiled and said "just doing my job."

I drowned him in the toilet.
 
perkele said:
This thread is starting to be quite gay also.

Warning, Sawastea overdose!
Click to expand...
lol!!! lay off sawastea man, he's not gay and he's definitely a good bro.

I've met the guy, you'd like him, and not in a disgusting way you tranny loving, cock picture posting perv!
 
Wearing white shoes with a white sweater.

Having a 5 oclock shadow as the preferred length of facial hair.

one tattoo that is on your lower back.

Tattoo arm bands that dont go all the way round the Bicep/tricep. (crybaby poof)

Wearing those rubber "save/fight the world/children/cancer" type bracelets. more than one is worse.

sucking cock rates pretty high too.
 
dancing with a woman (not booty banging dryfucking to rap music, but really) is NOT gay it´s really hot and great. Like 1 in 500 people had even the first clue as to how to do it though. Times have changed. I can tango and waltz and can´t ever really do it since girls can´t. I just drag them along anyway though.

In Eastern Europe this sort of thing is still learnt more.
 
Saintinistic said:
Having a 5 oclock shadow as the preferred length of facial hair.
Click to expand...

I dont see this one

thats not "gay"- thats what you have when you´re too lazy to shave more than twice a week
 
Saintinistic said:
Wearing white shoes with a white sweater.

Having a 5 oclock shadow as the preferred length of facial hair.

one tattoo that is on your lower back.

Tattoo arm bands that dont go all the way round the Bicep/tricep. (crybaby poof)

Wearing those rubber "save/fight the world/children/cancer" type bracelets. more than one is worse.sucking cock rates pretty high too.
Click to expand...


I hate those things. I think all tattoo arm bands are gay. Any dude with a lower back tattoo might as well get his belly button pierced and chop his nuts off. Unless the whole back is covered.

I only shave a few times a week so I do have the light beard. I also have my eyebrows waxed. Other than that I'm hetro all the way.
 
jack_schitt said:
Hey now...I use Cherry Chap Stick...

No complaints yet....or 'that dude is fucking geigh' looks either.
Click to expand...


How about while you're applying it? How cool does that look? Gimme something damnit!
 
Head bands

NOTHING makes a guy look more "geigh" than wearing a head band to hold the hair back. Hair in your eyes ? CUT IT !!

They even make David Beckham look geigh
 
spiked hair, waxed eyebrows, and a striped shirt with a popped collar.
A Man in a speedo that is bright in color. That's a he%$ NO!!
 
Spotting another dude doing squats.

If someone ask me to spot them during squats I tell them to find a fag or a chick to do it I ain't doing it and walk off.
 
perkele said:
Guys with thongs
Click to expand...


I used to work with a guy and afer work most everyone would hit the company gym. This limpwrist would hit the showers after working out, and spend 99% of that time prancing around in these little french cut jockey underwear, in an assortment of colors of course. It was VERY disturbing. He swore they were jockey and kept trying to show guys the label. FAGGOT.
 
HardHat87 said:
I hate those things. I think all tattoo arm bands are gay. Any dude with a lower back tattoo might as well get his belly button pierced and chop his nuts off. Unless the whole back is covered.

I only shave a few times a week so I do have the light beard. I also have my eyebrows waxed. Other than that I'm hetro all the way.
Click to expand...

You might as well say "I have sex with men, butt other than that I am straight all the gay...I mean way...way."
 
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