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Advice: Dad has cancer

Jade19

Jade19

New member
Found out my dad had testicular cancer almost a year ago, they chopped off 1 of his nuts, but it was caught to late and spread thru his body. They did an experimantal treatment and gave him 6 mos. worth of chemo?? (dont know how to spell it) in one week. It put him in partial remission for a few weeks and now is spreading thru his body in little tumors. They are just gonna give him maintenance chemo (?) they refuse to do radiation treatment because they are little and all over.

I want to know any info on treatments or on how to get doctors to do the radiation. Just any advice that could help at all please...........

He's my world and my families and i dont wanna lose him :clock:
 
Hey Jade.

Sorry to hear about your dad's condition. Keep your chin up though as he is going to need your support.

I did some reading to make sure that I had the right information for you.

http://www.malecare.com/testicular_cancer_page_7.htm

Chemotherapy is the use of anticancer drugs to kill cancer cells throughout the body. Chemotherapy is given to destroy cancerous cells that may remain in the body after surgery. The use of anticancer drugs following surgery is known as adjuvant therapy. Chemotherapy may also be the initial treatment if the cancer is advanced; that is, if it has spread outside the testicle. Most anticancer drugs are given by injection into a vein (IV).

Chemotherapy is a systemic therapy, meaning that drugs travel through the bloodstream and affect normal as well as cancerous cells all over the body. The side effects depend largely on the specific drugs and the dose. Common side effects may include nausea, loss of hair, fatigue, diarrhea, vomiting, fever, chills, coughing/shortness of breath, mouth sores, or skin rash. Other common side effects are dizziness, numbness, loss of reflexes, or difficulty hearing. Some anticancer drugs interfere with sperm production. Although the reduction in sperm count is permanent for some patients, many others recover their fertility.

Some men with advanced or recurrent testicular cancer may have a bone marrow transplant, which allows for high doses of chemotherapy. These high doses of chemotherapy destroy the bone marrow, which makes and stores blood cells. In a transplant, however, bone marrow or peripheral stem cells are removed from the patient before chemotherapy. The cells are frozen. The patient is given high doses of chemotherapy. The cells are then thawed and returned to the patient through a needle.
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It is usual to go through surgery, radiation therapy to the localised area and then chemotherapy to make sure it hasn't spread to other areas. In your dad's case, I am assuming that it was at a later stage and forced the doctors to begin chemotherapy sooner. You can see from the information I quoted above that chemo is the normal course of action. It is only increased in advanced cases and followed up with a bone marrow transplant. Radiation therapy is confined to localised areas only and would not be of benefit to your dad's condition. Regardless, have a talk with your dad's physician and be upfront with him/her about your concerns and see what the next course of action will be. It sounds like your dad is in either Stage 2 or the early part of Stage 3 of his cancer, so the survival rate is still very high.

Just make sure that you always ask your dad what he wants to do. In many cases where people are diagnosed with cancer, they seem to get cut out of the decision making process. Give him hugs and big, sloppy wet kisses to keep a smile on his face too and never give up.
 
Jade19 said:
Found out my dad had testicular cancer almost a year ago, they chopped off 1 of his nuts, but it was caught to late and spread thru his body. They did an experimantal treatment and gave him 6 mos. worth of chemo?? (dont know how to spell it) in one week. It put him in partial remission for a few weeks and now is spreading thru his body in little tumors. They are just gonna give him maintenance chemo (?) they refuse to do radiation treatment because they are little and all over.

I want to know any info on treatments or on how to get doctors to do the radiation. Just any advice that could help at all please...........

He's my world and my families and i dont wanna lose him :clock:
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http://curezone.com/diseases/cancer/
 
Sorry to hear about your dad. I wish him a speedy recovery ...:rose:
 
They already did radiation on his brain, which was successful (he had 4 small tumors). He also got a bone marrow transplant during the experimental chemo treatment. Its sad because the doctors told my mom if the experimental thing didnt work that he would probably die. Nice thought huh? I just want everything to work out, hes only 48. My mom is only 40 and they've been together since she was 16 or 17.

Even tho the tumors are small and spread out (around his stomach) do you think there is a possibility to get the doctors to do radiation? They didn't think the radiation would work on his brain, but it did. Can't let him go out w/o trying EVERYTHING. Thanks for the info and support!

Any more info/advice send it my way
 
Jade19 said:
He's my world and my families and i dont wanna lose him
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Of course nobody likes loosing their loved ones; merely the idea of hearing one naturally evokes many kinds of sad emotions within us already.
However, what's best for you right now is to have a realistic sense of the time & space that's happening in relation to your father, cancer; the possibility of curabability being remote through to a conscious awareness of post implications such as the left over reality: you & your mother.
What you're going through right now may indeed just be the beginning.

I'm sorry I couldn't really help with the technicality of treatment options like KIAN did. I am much more concern of the mental aspects of this issue, you in particular.
G&C
 
i'm so sorry for you, i lost my Dad 9 years ago to cancer. keep close to him, be there for him. my Dad gave up in the end, they called it "lack of will to thrive".
 
HumanTarget said:
i'm so sorry for you, i lost my Dad 9 years ago to cancer. keep close to him, be there for him. my Dad gave up in the end, they called it "lack of will to thrive".
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I know that he is really sad because he doesnt want to leave us, my sis isnt even in High school yet. He's always so happy when i come around that i dont know exactly where here is. Thank you for the support
 
hi :)

Just wondered if the doctors have put you in touch with any support groups? You would be asuprised at how many people have fought cancer or are in the fight and have set up websites and meeting groups where they talk about their treatments...they are also very knowledgable about these sort of things too. It may be worth speaking to them about their experiences

As for whether radiation treatment is appropriate, have you thought about seeking a second opinion? either by reccomendation by your current doctors or otherwise? I can;t think of any reason medical why they would object, no one on here can really definitivly know whats going on with your father until they have seen him or his notes ultimately...the lesions/little tumours spreading to the brain etc mean the tumour has 'moved' presumably?

it may be worth asking the doctor about what this exactly means and whether this is 'metastatic spread' through his 'lymphatic system' and just whatg that is. And finally what each treatment actually is, with its possible and probable (i.e. likely % wise success) benefits and side effects. No matter how busy a doctor may appear, there is always someone within that team who will be willing to talk to you provided you make an appointment with them to talk

I'd also just echo growth&courages post....its sage advice IMO :)
 
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danielson said:
hi :)

Just wondered if the doctors have put you in touch with any support groups? You would be asuprised at how many people have fought cancer or are in the fight and have set up websites and meeting groups where they talk about their treatments...they are also very knowledgable about these sort of things too. It may be worth speaking to them about their experiences

As for whether radiation treatment is appropriate, have you thought about seeking a second opinion? either by reccomendation by your current doctors or otherwise? I can;t think of any reason medical why they would object, no one on here can really definitivly know whats going on with your father until they have seen him or his notes ultimately...the lesions/little tumours spreading to the brain etc mean the tumour has 'moved' presumably?

it may be worth asking the doctor about what this exactly means and whether this is 'metastatic spread' through his 'lymphatic system' and just whatg that is. And finally what each treatment actually is, with its possible and probable (i.e. likely % wise success) benefits and side effects. No matter how busy a doctor may appear, there is always someone within that team who will be willing to talk to you provided you make an appointment with them to talk

I'd also just echo growth&courages post....its sage advice IMO :)
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Yes they have, my dad isn't very social, mother too. But he is planning on going to speak with a pastor so hopefully that will bring some understanding and peace to him.

If/when he passes it'll be okay because he will be in a better place and I'll see him again another day.
 
Jade, spend as much time with him as you can, he needs you now more than ever. Try to stay strong. When i used to visit my mom in hospice, she looked so horrible id want to cry but i had to wait until i left and got out the door. Being with her when she passed helped me to deal with her death.It sucks because you kind of try to mentally and emotionally prepare yourself for the day but their is no preperation for the things you will feel. I lost my mom to lung cancer 5 yrs ago and it still hurts. If you need anything dont be afraid to pm me. Hang in there!!!!!
 
USMC fighter said:
Jade, spend as much time with him as you can, he needs you now more than ever. Try to stay strong. When i used to visit my mom in hospice, she looked so horrible id want to cry but i had to wait until i left and got out the door. Being with her when she passed helped me to deal with her death.It sucks because you kind of try to mentally and emotionally prepare yourself for the day but their is no preperation for the things you will feel. I lost my mom to lung cancer 5 yrs ago and it still hurts. If you need anything dont be afraid to pm me. Hang in there!!!!!
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Lung cancer is terrible, I literally watched my grandma die from it. Sorry to hear about your mother. Nothing will prepare me, my mom came to me and told me how serious she thought it was because she knows it will take awhile for it to actually kick in. I guess its the kid thing, your invincible to the world, which seems to include your family. I've had 10 people close to me who have died but, dad is waaaayyy different. Thank you for you advice and thoughts. Dont know whos religous, but if you are send a prayer my way!!! :rose:
 
Jade19 said:
Lung cancer is terrible, I literally watched my grandma die from it. Sorry to hear about your mother. Nothing will prepare me, my mom came to me and told me how serious she thought it was because she knows it will take awhile for it to actually kick in. I guess its the kid thing, your invincible to the world, which seems to include your family. I've had 10 people close to me who have died but, dad is waaaayyy different. Thank you for you advice and thoughts. Dont know whos religous, but if you are send a prayer my way!!! :rose:
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my dad died of cancer when i was 10. i miss every minute of him. if it is spreading than all they can do is chemo. i watched my father go through this with a brain tumor for 8 months. stay with him and care for him, because i never got to know mine like i would have wanted to. take him places and take pictures. love him.
 
my grandfather had prostate cancer a few years ago, and he went to radiation treatment monday -friday for 6 weeks, it went into remission. so theres always hope:) good luck
 
I feel your pain jade I'm in the same boat, very similar situation. My Dad had colon cancer 3 years ago, refused chemo, and somehow they were able to remove the cancer and reconnect him, sparing him from the horror that is a colestomy bag. Well just last week, my Dad had a catscan done and he has 2 tumors now in both lungs. One lung is completely taken over, the other 50% so he is running off half of one lung. I'm 3000 miles away which makes it even more hard. Its very hard, you keep thinking of your Dad all the time, everything reminds you of him. All we can do is hope and pray. I wish you and your Dad the best. Keep positive and know your not alone. :)
 
Snarling Force said:
I feel your pain jade I'm in the same boat, very similar situation. My Dad had colon cancer 3 years ago, refused chemo, and somehow they were able to remove the cancer and reconnect him, sparing him from the horror that is a colestomy bag. Well just last week, my Dad had a catscan done and he has 2 tumors now in both lungs. One lung is completely taken over, the other 50% so he is running off half of one lung. I'm 3000 miles away which makes it even more hard. Its very hard, you keep thinking of your Dad all the time, everything reminds you of him. All we can do is hope and pray. I wish you and your Dad the best. Keep positive and know your not alone. :)
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yesterday i talked to my mom and she said he was getting worse........then today my dad called me wityh "good" news sayin his cancer count went down........... i dont know if they are lieing to him but it makes me devastated to think about him leaving............. and the thought he has no idea he thinks hes getting better but i dont know what one to believe
 
My sympathy goes out for your situation. Testicular cancer is a very malignant cancer and very hard to contain. Once its spread rather than curing the focus of treatment is rather life extension and comfort of life. You cant just convince them to give radiation therapy if what sounds like multiple small tumors, thats not what they use it for. Testicular cancer is very very hard to beat once its spread, prepare yourself and focus on comfort of life for him, be realistic.
 
As others have said, I would:
1. Make sure you have at least one more opinion from other treatment facility if possible...
and more importantly
2. Spend as much quality time with him as you can right now. My Dad is my best friend, I talk to him every single day (and I live 500 miles away). It bothers me to know that I'll have to say goodbye to him someday.
Take care.
 
sorry to hear about it, i lost my mum 10 years ago when i was 8 years old, she was the world to me, i never spoke to my dad, so i felt alone when she passed away due to bowl cancer, .. i only found out tht she was going to die, when i told her, when she gets out of bed, i will make her this and tht, and we can go on holiday, then she broke down in tears and told me and my brothers tht she was going to die....i couldnt belive it , and just lay down for like an hour next to her, just my mind spinning, ...while she was crying, and trying to comfort me ...and about 1 month later i woke up with on a saturday, and my whole family were in my front room, just stareing at me... and i was only 8, but i knew what was wronge.. and i just stood there crying..i did not need any1 to tell me she had died, i knew......

sorry getting carried away, just to say if it happend now i would have made it easyer on my mum, and tryed to understand it abit more,i cryed way to much infront of her, which now makes me feel bad about putting tht on her.just spend time with ur dad, and enjoy ur time 2gether

if u need saport pm me 2
 
tinytank said:
sorry to hear about it, i lost my mum 10 years ago when i was 8 years old, she was the world to me, i never spoke to my dad, so i felt alone when she passed away due to bowl cancer, .. i only found out tht she was going to die, when i told her, when she gets out of bed, i will make her this and tht, and we can go on holiday, then she broke down in tears and told me and my brothers tht she was going to die....i couldnt belive it , and just lay down for like an hour next to her, just my mind spinning, ...while she was crying, and trying to comfort me ...and about 1 month later i woke up with on a saturday, and my whole family were in my front room, just stareing at me... and i was only 8, but i knew what was wronge.. and i just stood there crying..i did not need any1 to tell me she had died, i knew......

sorry getting carried away, just to say if it happend now i would have made it easyer on my mum, and tryed to understand it abit more,i cryed way to much infront of her, which now makes me feel bad about putting tht on her.just spend time with ur dad, and enjoy ur time 2gether

if u need saport pm me 2
Click to expand...

Thank you, your post gave me goosebumps. I cry but not in front of him unless he starts first. I wrote a poem about/to him and read it to him he started crying really hard, every time i read it, it makes me cry. Are you over your loss/ how long did it take to be at peace............. :rose:
 
sorry to hear that mate, go to www.vernoncoleman.com
hes a bit of revolutionary doctor, hes been a GP, and wrote many books
he doesnt conform and belives chemo is useless, he belives the key is to boost the immune system to alloy it to fight e.c.t.

let me know what u rekon.
 
hes a bit of revolutionary doctor, hes been a GP, and wrote many books
he doesnt conform and belives chemo is useless
Click to expand...

I dont know about this... chemo in the past 10 years has changed so much and has been very effective. The faster the cancer grows, the better and more effective chemo is. If caught in stage I or II most cancers can be treated with a very high survival rate(90%+ depending on type), and III and IIII with moderate results. One thing you must remember when being treated for cancer is that radiation is used for tumors that are too small or too hard to reach for surgical removal. Chemo is used for smaller tumors and to rid the body of the smaller cancer bodies (cells, or multi-cell).

Although I will agree the doctors do go by their plain jane books. What they should do is recommend some antioxidants, especially onces such as ALA and NAC that raise glutathione levels. The reason they probably don't do this is that there are too few controlled studies using these supplements.

Sorry for posting this so much later than the original, but I thought I would throw some info out there since a lot of people think cancer is ALWAYS a death sentence.
 
chemo has repeatly failed, now if half the people who have it survive more than a few years, chemo is considered a success.
chemo doesnt address the problem, it just tries to fight the effect(the cancer)
what really needs to be addressed is the acual problem,which is how did these stray cells become cancerous in this persons body, and how do we boost the immune sytem to fight this cancer and stop it developing again.

example,3 lukeemia patiants had bone marrow which cleared up the illness, only to find all 3 of them developed the disease again, but the amazing bit is they develpoed it in the healthy transplant bone marrow,to me this seems obvious that something isnt right inside that persons body which keeps making stray cells, this is what needs to be studied i feel.
 
Jade19 said:
Thank you, your post gave me goosebumps. I cry but not in front of him unless he starts first. I wrote a poem about/to him and read it to him he started crying really hard, every time i read it, it makes me cry. Are you over your loss/ how long did it take to be at peace............. :rose:
Click to expand...


na not really, cause i still really miss her. i think its becuase i never got to say bye. my dad never let me go to the funeral, so i kinda feel bad, cause i wish i did say bye to her. but there are many days where i dont think of her, so in that way i have moved on so much.but honestly let me know how he gets on and pm when ever you want. but be stronge . and chin up.

p.s, when i knew i was not going to the funeral , i told my gran, to take (a red ribbon that i got off of my mum from birth im told) and to put in on the coffin before they scatter the soil ontop.. and for some reason that makes me feel alot better now that i done that . dont ask me why it just dose.
 
jade

any cancer in the later stages is bad, but your dad has a histology that is chemo sensitive. radiation ususally is use in conjunction. i know most are speculatinng here on condition/prognosis, but my advice is to stay in the doctors ear...get second opnions....and go to academic medical centers. a lot of educational med centers (med u's) offer cutting edge protocols. the advatage: some work suprisingly well. a lot of them are cut rate or much cheaper since they are exp'al. the cons: a lot dont work adnd there no guarantee.

if its spreading, of course, thats not good. but keep praying and look for positive examples. Lance armstrong was stage 4 (end stage) with brain mets upon diagnosis and he beat cancer and went on tho win that little race in france a few times as well. ;-)

my prayers are with you and your family

usc
 
Praying for you Jaded...Hang in there and just spend as much time as you can...be there for him till the end...you will never regret being there....((((HUGS))))
 
SoKlueles said:
This whole thread made me cry
Ill pray for u jade and I want to hug you tinytank
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ok big group hug for all . infact i will post up a pic of her on this if u want ?? my old boss told me she knew her and she was a very pritty woman. happens to the best of us.

will try and post a pic or so up..
 






2 pics, one of me and my mum, when i was about 1 or 2 ?? and the other was of the day she was put to rest.
 
Jade19 said:
yesterday i talked to my mom and she said he was getting worse........then today my dad called me wityh "good" news sayin his cancer count went down........... i dont know if they are lieing to him but it makes me devastated to think about him leaving............. and the thought he has no idea he thinks hes getting better but i dont know what one to believe
Click to expand...
jade----1st of all i am sorry to hear this and i hope your dad does ok.....
2nd-- his cancer count can vary day to day it all depends on how his red and white blood cell counts are.his counts may be lower today then tomorrow but he still has the cancer in his body.it doesnt necessarilly mean that he thinks he is ok...it does how ever mean that he has a greater chance of fighting the battle and winning.when your cell count goes down it is almost like his immune system is fighting with the cells and over coming them. and as for the radiation goes i am sure that there is some thing that they can do for him I would seek out the advice of a specailist.i hope all goes well for you and stay strong there are cases where ppl pull 100 percent out of cancer cases.
 
he passed away june 2nd, my birthday was the 4th. Now im writing a tribute for his memorial service, how lkong is too long. I will be the only one writing
 
Jade19 said:
he passed away june 2nd, my birthday was the 4th. Now im writing a tribute for his memorial service, how lkong is too long. I will be the only one writing
Click to expand...
Sorry to hear it jade19....whatever you say from the heart will be fine.


Dave
 
Damn, im sorry to hear this happened to you. I lost my dad 5 years ago to pancreatic cancer when i was 18, it will take some getting used to it, but you will get through it, i know you will. Cancer is a terrible thing, treatment is so barbaric these days. There are great things on the horizion (RI gene therapy as seen with the p53 gene) but too late for some of us.
I really feel for you girl, it was so terrible to see my dad go but it was great that he didnt have to suffer anymore, that was the worst part. You have to keep your head up. REALLY try to keep busy, be around family and friends a lot, it is what kept me going. If you ever need to talk, vent anything, we are here, its not much i know, but its the least i could do.

Keep your head up girl

Randy
 
I'm so sorry Jaded. I just found this thread.

A loss of a loved one is always sad and horrible. Cancer especially. It's one of the reasons i always donate and run for cancer research.

Hugs. His pain is over and while he may be above, you leading a powerful happy successful life from hereon and taking care of your family will make him smile.
 
Damn, sorry to hear about your loss. I just lost my mom to cancer in May so I unfortunately have and idea of what you are going through. If you ever need to talk or vent feel free to message me. Also, don't forget to take care of yourself at this point in time. Not sleeping or eating enough tends to make things that much more difficult.

All my best,

David
 
I'd like to say that current research as far as I understand it , chemotherapy does not cure anything. It is a means of prologing life. Basically it won't fix anything , but it will lessen or reduce the size of tumors. Chemo does not kill or remove tumors. It's a treatment not a cure. Infact nothing has been cured since polio

My condolences
 
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